I need help finding a match


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AZNormal is offline AZNormal Post #1  October 19,2010, 3:24pm
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Well, I'm about to turn 51 soon and still single. I have been out of a relationship for over 2 years and just started this on-line dating scene. So far, I haven't gotten asked out so I'm getting a little disapointed. I'm not sure if it's my profile or guys are not interested in me because I'm not georgeous. I think I'm cute and sweet and have a great personality. Why am I having problems getting someone's attention to want to meet me? Any advise you can give me to get more attention other than nudity would certainly help. I would like to find a normal guy but I don't want guys that just want sex right away. I'm sure there is someone out there that has some morals and respect. So far, the only ones that I have attracted look like my Dad or just want sex. Can you help me out?
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #2  October 19,2010, 3:32pm
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Have you tried initiating contact with guys who interest you? Realize that for every 10 guys you contact, you may get only one response. It only takes one!

Anyway, it's good to be proactive, and share the responsibility of initial contact -- guys don't necessarily like doing all the work. Good luck!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  October 19,2010, 3:35pm
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Most of your matches are not active on the site, so don't feel at all bad about most of them not writing you.

***

I suggest a bit of caution in your wording and attitude, as such things come across in profiles: although it is fine to wish for some delay of sex, equating those who wish not to delay as being of bad or deficient morals is an attitude which sounds negative, and negative attitudes make a profile seem like a "downer."

Also, although "wanted to get asked out" is common, a less one-sided view seems to yield better success (for instance, write first to the matches you like, etc.)

Good luck!
 
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AZNormal is offline AZNormal Post #4  October 20,2010, 2:53pm
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Thanks for the advise. I'll change my profile up a bit, again....Yes I have contacted several but most don't respond and some say we live to far apart. Maybe one day he'll be available to me. One guy said that it will happen when you least expect it. Maybe I'm expecting too much out of this.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  October 20,2010, 2:56pm
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It often takes a long time.

I think it's best to have an attitude that you'll probably be at online dating awhile - especially if you are at all picky, or outside of what the opposite sex generally favors.

Quick success is rare.
 
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Bill1104 is offline Bill1104 Post #6  October 20,2010, 3:09pm
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You said:
wrote :
I think I'm cute and sweet and have a great personality.
I don't know if you're sweet and have a great personality but you are definitely cute. And, if you do possess the other attributes, you will find someone if you keep a positive attitude

I wish you well.

Bill
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #7  October 21,2010, 5:11am
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See next post!
Last edited by ISearch4Love; October 21,2010 at 5:14am.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #8  October 21,2010, 5:11am
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You could also try posting your profile to get other peoples advise on what you might be able to do to improve your chances of getting people to respond.

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...tructions.html
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  October 21,2010, 10:57am
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From reading these boards I have the impression that now and then someone hits the jackpot early on but most online daters take awhile to find someone. You have to develop patience.

Meanwhile getting your online profile reviewed is a good idea -- it can be surprising how something that seems fine to you can be off-putting to other people.

And don't neglect real-life opportunities -- find activities you like that single men also like.

Welcome to EHAdvice!
 
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Getting_There is offline Getting_There Post #10  October 21,2010, 11:16am
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You may want to include something in your profile indicating what type of relationship you're looking for in a positive way (such as serious longterm monogamous relationship, etc.).

Many of the matches I've met have complained to me that they've run into many woman on EH and Match who are just looking for casual sexual relationships and these men were not. So these men do exist out there and putting what you're looking for in your profile might help them find you and vice versa.

Once I changed my profile in a similar way to this, I noticed the type of men I was looking for started contacting me and the men who were really seeking a sexual relationship stopped contacting me. My caveat would be that I'm in my late twenties and the men in my dating pool are late twenties to mid thirties and we're both essentially looking for marriage partners.
 
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