TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #1  October 19,2010, 9:14am
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Ladies and or gents, do you get matches who just use their first initial for their profiles??
I do..not a lot, but I do.
Waddup wid dat?

Um, seriously, if you've decided to make leap of faith, and be on EH, I think you have to give your first name...for pete's sake you've got 5 pictures on your profile..
And playing devils advocate, if I'm going to stalk you..I'm going to need more than your first name, I would think...:O

*end of rant*
Last edited by TheThinker; October 19,2010 at 9:17am.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  October 19,2010, 9:27am

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Hi TheThinker –

Well, I do think eHarmony is the most private and safe relationship site out there, so I do agree with that. But I have had many, many inquiries with people whose first names are unique and they realize that it would be pretty easy to do a Google search. So for someone like that, I would say that the initials are understandable. So I say, if you rule them out too fast, you might be missing out on someone great, with a very interesting name.

Otherwise, I agree that it comes across as nice and more personal/approachable to share your first name.

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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  October 19,2010, 9:52am
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Some people have a unique first name, so just knowing that is plenty to find out everything about them. It takes only one psycho and one bad experience to make people cautious.

Personally, I fall into this category - never thought much about my name until a match I had closed without speaking showed up at my work place and proceeded to stalk me and demand that I date him. I had to have building security walk me to my car for months. It was not fun. After that, I'll either do an initial or deliberately misspell my name in a way that makes this kind of a situation less likely to repeat.

Sure, something like that can happen anywhere really - convention, business, social groups, etc. Still, the idea is to decrease exposure and giving out only your initial is one way to do it.

I'd also add that a lot of men do this too. Usually they are in easy to locate or high profile positions - doctors, lawyers, local politicians, etc. You may look at their photo and not recognize them, but if you know their first name and location you can easily find them via professional organizations and registrations.

This is not a gender specific situation.
Last edited by DancingFool; October 19,2010 at 10:06am. Reason: additional thoughts
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  October 19,2010, 9:53am
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People do that for privacy reasons....usually because they have a very unique first name and knowing there location and specialty you can easily find personal info about them.

Many also use psudo names on their profile for the same reason.

For example if you are in a high profile position like a teacher, university employee, hospital, or public position where your photo and profile are on a web site you could be found.

For example if you say your name is Mary and you work as a teach and you live in a certain town of a metro area.

I ask the question so what is your commute like for work and you say you only are 10 minutes away. And I also ask what subject or grade you teach then you tell me....

then I can find your first and last name (or get it down to two or three people max) where I then could access your personal information like where you live.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  October 19,2010, 9:55am
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Yeah, I had a few of those too. I didn't think anything of it when I was new to the process so I just overlooked it. I can't remember any of them appealing to me though, either but not because of the initials.

No rant here.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #6  October 19,2010, 10:08am
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DancingFool wrote :
Some people have a unique first name, so just knowing that is plenty to find out everything about them. It takes only one psycho and one bad experience to make people cautious.

Personally, I fall into this category - never thought much about my name until a match I had closed without speaking showed up at my work place and proceeded to stalk me and demand that I date him. I had to have building security walk me to my car for months. It was not fun. After that, I'll either do an initial or deliberately misspell my name in a way that makes this kind of a situation less likely to repeat.

Sure, something like that can happen anywhere really - convention, business, social groups, etc. Still, the idea is to decrease exposure and giving out only your initial is one way to do it.
Wait, so you mean you don't like it if a guy did this to you?

Damn it! There go my plans for the next couple of weeks.

On a more serious note: My name is quite unique too, so I use a common name instead...... Though I really don't think men have as big of a problem with stalkers as women do, at least I never have.

Maybe I'm not as sexy as I need to be to attract them stalkers? Double Damn it!
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #7  October 19,2010, 10:10am
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I have also had a couple who used their full names. I was tempted to go straight to email just to tell them that this wasn't the best idea! LOL
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  October 19,2010, 10:39am
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Harryoss wrote :
Wait, so you mean you don't like it if a guy did this to you?

Damn it! There go my plans for the next couple of weeks.

On a more serious note: My name is quite unique too, so I use a common name instead...... Though I really don't think men have as big of a problem with stalkers as women do, at least I never have.

Maybe I'm not as sexy as I need to be to attract them stalkers? Double Damn it!
Sooo...you haven't noticed me stalking you? Sweet.....
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #9  October 19,2010, 10:45am
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DancingFool wrote :
Sooo...you haven't noticed me stalking you? Sweet.....
Wait wait wait wait, hold on a second! You've been stalking me while I've been stalking you? Doesn't take create some kind of infinite loop causing the universe to implode?

And are you telling me that your favorite hobby is NOT Photography? and that it WASN'T just a freakish coincidence that my hiding spots from you were always in beautiful scenery?

What has this world come to?!!!!!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  October 19,2010, 2:48pm
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TheThinker wrote :
Waddup wid dat?

Dey dont no how to spel they name.
 
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