ladyvirtue is offline ladyvirtue Post #1  October 18,2010, 5:17pm
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I've realized that I've been matched with a few men now since I joined e harmony 2 weeks ago, and there's a strange trait I've been seeing from many of them. I'd really like some insight. Why is it that you get matched up, you send them a message or icebreaker, they view your page/message but don't respond...but they don't archive or close the match either. It would make a lot more sense to me if you could say well he just wasn't interested and closed the match. Pretty much what I do... I figure it's logical and all. But they leave the match open and don't respond. Does anyone have any idea why that might be?
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #2  October 18,2010, 5:26pm
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Not a clue and it's really irritating, isn't it? Maybe it's because I'm retentively organized but I really wish they'd do SOMETHING. Close or talk. Talk or close. Really, it's not a trick question.

It happens to me all the time so you're not alone.
 
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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #3  October 18,2010, 5:31pm
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Yeah, I get lots of those. They are either indecisive or clueless or not motivated. If they view again after a nudge in a week yet do nothing, it's time to close.
 
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ladyvirtue is offline ladyvirtue Post #4  October 18,2010, 5:33pm
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As much as it truly sucks I feel a little better knowing it's not just me. Sheesh eh? I agree though. It's really not complicated. Close or respond. it's just the guys I'd really want to talk to as well. It's really disparaging but I tell myself it's only been a short time... give it a chance.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  October 18,2010, 5:47pm
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yes, it's irritating and it happens to us guys also...thought you'd like to know.
 
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ladyvirtue is offline ladyvirtue Post #6  October 18,2010, 5:51pm
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TheThinker wrote :
yes, it's irritating and it happens to us guys also...thought you'd like to know.
Thanks TheThinker. I definitely would like guys' perspective on this as well. Would be great to even hear from some of those who do it. Maybe there could actually be a logical explanation for it. I'm open to hear it
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  October 18,2010, 6:41pm
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ladyvirtue wrote :
I've realized that I've been matched with a few men now since I joined e harmony 2 weeks ago, and there's a strange trait I've been seeing from many of them. I'd really like some insight. Why is it that you get matched up, you send them a message or icebreaker, they view your page/message but don't respond...but they don't archive or close the match either. It would make a lot more sense to me if you could say well he just wasn't interested and closed the match. Pretty much what I do... I figure it's logical and all. But they leave the match open and don't respond. Does anyone have any idea why that might be?

This happens both ways...I see it too with women. They view my profile but dont close me...I see they viewed me...so I view them and if I like what I saw Ill send questions...then they close me.

As a man...I know there are alot of women who wont initiate communication..they wait for the men to initiate.

So you know....75 % of the profiles are dead profiles of people who only come out on the free communication periods.....so dont be so quick to close the ones you are interested in if they dont reply back to you

Also dont do icebreakers..only nonmembers can do ice breakers so ice breaker says nonpaying member so they likely wont reply to you even if they are paying.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  October 18,2010, 6:43pm
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Also....

if you have alot of people close you then you need to look at your profile again...what you have in your profile may scare off potential people to communicate with you.

If you arent sure you can post your profile on here and us people can comment.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #9  October 18,2010, 7:31pm
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Yeah, us guys get that a lot too.

I just assume that she is either:

1) Saving me as a backup.
2) One of those people that think "Closing" someone is just too hurtful, so they would rather it just sit there.

For #2...
PLEASE gals, just Close us if you aren't interested!
We are big boys. We can handle it.

BTW, OP:
Don't send Icebreakers.
If you are interested in a guy, just send him first questions.
 
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ladyvirtue is offline ladyvirtue Post #10  October 18,2010, 9:35pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
Also....

if you have alot of people close you then you need to look at your profile again...what you have in your profile may scare off potential people to communicate with you.

If you arent sure you can post your profile on here and us people can comment.
Thanks for the response. I'll keep what you've said in mind. I haven't really gotten a problem with anyone closing on me though. That's the thing. Lol maybe i'm crazy for complaining that they're just looking at my profile and then just sitting there even after i message them first. That's the annoying part to me. It's like they're waiting for the 2nd coming of Christ or something lol.
 
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