KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #1  October 17,2010, 9:33am
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I've read several profiles that state:
"I want a man who knows how to treat a lady"

The statement is so vague and subject to interpretation. What's your opinion?
 
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Mythical is offline Mythical Post #2  October 17,2010, 9:39am
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isn't that all about the chivalry? Opening doors, helping with their chair, etc.? (paying the bill?!)
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  October 17,2010, 9:42am
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wrote :
"I want a man who knows how to treat a lady"
= If you graduated from the Ike Turner school of charm.. please don't contact me..



My interpretation is similar to what Mythical posted...old school values-chivarly..etc
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 17,2010 at 9:47am.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #4  October 17,2010, 10:05am
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I would say it means having good manners and using common courtesy.

My problem with the expression is that it refers back to an era in which the gender expectations were a lot less equal than they are today.

I don't want to resurrect the "who pays" debate, but for some people being treated "like a lady" means that the woman doesn't have to put out much effort in initiating dates or romance, or in providing the means for either. I think, and I hope, that those days are gone.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  October 17,2010, 10:07am
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I'd hear it as wanting traditional behavior w.r.t. manners, dating, etc.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  October 17,2010, 10:14am
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Wanting "manners" does not require the inclusion of "a lady."

Consequently, simple politeness is not likely to be the correct intepretation of the demand.

(Also, like honesty and fidelity, such baseline expectations should not be listed in a profile as demands.)

It is usually going to be the right intepretation that the writer is a gold-digger, probably of low-class, and likely with baggage.

Due to this experience, any variation on this phase is a close - it is one of the most common things I close for. (About 1/3 of my matches, for this reason alone.)

By the way, despite the popularity of this phrase, these women do not send first questions first.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  October 17,2010, 10:19am
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D_Lion wrote :

By the way, despite the popularity of this phrase, these women do not send first questions first.
That's what I mean: they want traditional behavior in dating, which means The Man Initiates, among other things.

Could be a gold-digger phrase but I think it's a mistake to assume that. Maybe she's just tired of getting shoved out of the way by men heading for that last seat in the subway?
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #8  October 17,2010, 10:26am
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The phrase is so open to an individual woman's assessment.

It isn't a bad thing to me unless there are imaginative tests given to determine if I know how to treat a lady. That is obnoxious.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  October 17,2010, 10:42am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Maybe she's just tired of getting shoved out of the way by men heading for that last seat in the subway?

In that case, "a lady" has no business riding the subway alone - especially during peak times, as that is when people are headed to or from work. Where "a lady" does not belong.

And on and on ...

Double-standard demands, self-benefitting demands, self-absorbed demands, are a close.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #10  October 17,2010, 10:55am
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I read this as "ask me out, pick me up, pay for dinner, buy me things and don't even think about trying to kiss me!"
 
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