Pic Issues...Are head shots really that bad??


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pinkISmyFAV is offline pinkISmyFAV Post #1  October 12,2010, 10:47pm
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Okay so I've been reading the articles and boards on photos and it seems I have made some of these mistakes. Mostly head shots and the dreaded "myspace mirror shot", lol.

I know guys want to see the full body shot, but when I had one up I got a lot of the wrong kind of attention. Here's the thing... I've been "blessed" in the boob department, and its kinda hard to miss them in a photo. So I tend to not take pics where you can see them, because they look massive . Hence the "myspace mirror" pic to get the full body pic. I don't want the first thing they notice about me to be my 36F's.

So what's a girl to do in this situation? Are head shots really that bad?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  October 12,2010, 11:02pm
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Well eventually if you meet up with a guy the 36Fs are going to be there, right? The idea of full-body shots is "no surprises when we meet". Also if he already knows about them, then when you meet perhaps he'll notice something else? lol.

At least when you get "wrong" attention you know you don't want to meet him, no? So you could see it as useful -- lets you know who you're dealing with, rather than hurtful, or annoying, or whatever response you have to it.

That said, do just head shots if you want -- it's your profile and you get to make your choices on it. It's possible some men will close you because of it. Not all though.
 
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angloaustralian is offline angloaustralian Post #3  October 12,2010, 11:19pm
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Hi pinkISmyFAV, welcome to eHarmony Advice.

No head shots are not in themselves a problem. In a range of three pictures which is considered to be an informal minimum, there should ideally be one headshot. Many use it as their primary, since it is useful for reference (when the "Okay, so whose profile I am I looking at right now ?" question comes up).

A broadly held opinion that one headshots, or worse still all headshots which were obviously taken on the same occasion is a problem. I don't know why people become fixated on this, but they do.

In threads which have been created by someone who wants to vent their frustration, the sentiment that female subscribers who only post headshots are endeavouring to conceal the fact than they are overweight.

What your matches will most be looking for is an accurate indication of appearance. Do they have a right to it ? No. But we are all just putting ourselves out there and seeing who will write to us/write back to us. An openness (with the the unfortunate attendent negative outcomes) is what seems to work.

Putting pictures on a request basis, not posting pictures and other methods of controlling what information is available to the people behind the profiles you are matched with narrows the field, but not only exclusively in the way you intend. People in whom you might have been interested and could perhaps have developed a significant attachment with will unfortunately pass on by, because someone elses' profile was more interesting. Guarded or sparse profiles just don't give them enough information to allow a decision.

And don't you want all the information you want, in order to make an informed decision ? If equitable principles apply....
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #4  October 13,2010, 4:01am
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angloaustralian wrote :
In threads which have been created by someone who wants to vent their frustration, the sentiment that female subscribers who only post headshots are endeavouring to conceal the fact than they are overweight.
This is exactly the problem! Whether it's true or not, if you don't have a full body shot people will just assume you're extremely over weight.

If you're not over weight this will cause you to loose out on talking to people that might otherwise talk to you.

If you are over weight, it's best to still post the full body shot because if someone is going to refuse to talk to you because you are it's better to let them make that decision earlier rather than have them "poof" on you several weeks in because they just found out.
 
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123noname789 is offline 123noname789 Post #5  October 13,2010, 5:08am
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Head shots aren’t bad, but they are when I get six of them on a profile AND not one full body, complete waste…close. In practice, I see no need for them, with a proper portfolio of shots.

Fact is, we want to know what we’re going to get BEFORE we invest time and attention on someone. I’ve had my fair share of surprises, need I say horror stories otherwise.

Believe me, women know it too. Because some of my matches ONLY have full body, with some side shots, different outfits (formal/casual) and so on. When women have, believe me, they show it. They hide stuff ? Watch out !
 
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annother is offline annother Post #6  October 13,2010, 5:16am
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Head shots are not bad, but if they are the only pictures then the reader doesn't have much idea about your body type. For "visual learners" that is a lack of information.

(By the way, the bolded pink font in the original post is very hard to read.)
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #7  October 13,2010, 6:43am
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Agreed with others.
If you don't give at least one body shot, or at least a profile shot from the distance, most guys are going to assume you are overweight.

Not that that is a bad thing, there are plenty of guys that like overweight gals.

But if you aren't overweight, or are bothered by the fact that some guys would assume this, then you should reconsider your decision about not posting a profile shot.

As for the 36F's...
While it is true there are a lot of guys that love a "lot" in that area, there are plenty of guys (like myself), that really don't care one way or another... And actually tend to prefer smaller ones.

To be honest, when I see a gal with them being that large, I generally assume they are fake, and wonder why they decided to pick going so big...
Heck, lugging them around can't be great for the back either!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #8  October 13,2010, 7:00am
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OP.. I know how you feel, I purposely don't upload pictures of my size 14 shoes..

I get that fact that your 36's may draw the wrong kind of attention, maybe is also has to do with the choice in clothing selected for the photos. I would suggest different angles or distance shots for the full body.

Headshots are a must, unless its the only type of photo you have posted, a variety is what works.

There are a few places you can go (okc) to have your photos rated. This can help you decide which photos are the best.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 13,2010 at 12:15pm.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #9  October 13,2010, 8:45am
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I don't really understand why your 36F's would be "drawing the wrong kind of attention". This kind of reminds of another thread I read earlier this week on these boards, about a woman who said that her good looks were holding her back from meeting well intentioned guys. I didn't really give any advice in that post, because others did a good job at doing it for me but here's the bottom line:

Get over yourself! If you've been blessed with beauty, you're not the only one... Guys know this very well... SO! while your looks will draw a guy's attention, your personality and attitude is what's going to keep him around.

I'm not saying it won't attract bad intentioned guys as well... everything does... you're just gonna have to weed those out like you normally would, WITHOUT making the assumption that ALL guys are like this.

Just know that without having a full body shot, in whatever angle it is, people will make the assumption that you're overweight.

On a side note, think of it this way... Half the men out there wouldn't obsess about you 36F's so much. I know I wouldn't. I'm a "behinds" person myself. (Not even in the "how much you've been blessed with it's shape" kind of way, but more of a "How well you maintain it" kind of way. If that makes any sense at all)
Last edited by Harryoss; October 13,2010 at 8:48am.
 
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pinkISmyFAV is offline pinkISmyFAV Post #10  October 13,2010, 9:50am
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I don't believe I need to get over myself. Where in my post did I state anything that warranted such a rude comment?

I asked the question because when I put a full body pic up( in a t-shirt and yoga pants)
I received a ton of eharmony mail request with gross comments and phone numbers.

thanks to all who had helpful comments
 
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