Profile Review: To go along with personality questionaire re-take.


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uniquegurl is offline uniquegurl Post #1  October 10,2010, 8:17pm
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I would appreciate a review of my profile & constructive criticism. I have recently changed it and would like for it to have a nicer flow. Thanks in advance for all of your help & I do realize that "the one thing I am passionate about" is redundant in places.
*******************************************
The one thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about making a difference. I am passionate about living life so that when I leave this earth, I will have very few regrets. I am happy that I realized early in life that things are just not that important. Things I love: the warmth of the sun on my face, snow falling on my eyelashes and face, smell of fresh cut grass or baked bread, walking in the rain, the sound of genuine laughter, my daughter telling me "Mom I don't know why I love you so much ," while holding my face in her hands. I also enjoy "me time" to explore new options and learn new things.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Looking for a "fellow adventurer on the road of life". I am unique, curious, independent, thoughtful, compassionate and have a wicked sense of humor. You are kind, sincere, understanding and fun! Together I hope we will laugh, travel, explore and enjoy our mutual interests & develop new ones. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

Basic Information
Critical Care RN , Age: 47, 5' 10", Wants Kids: Maybe, Kids at Home: Yes, African-American, Religion: Christian, Drinks: About once a week, Smokes: Never
The most influential person in my life has been:
My grandmother. She was very good at giving advice, never judged and always accepted people for who they are.
The three things which I am most thankful for:
1. Having faith in God that things will turn out okay, "when life gets in the way."

2. My family, for their unconditional love and support.

3. That I color "outside of the lines".

Three of my best life-skills are:
  • Creating romance in a relationship
  • Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis
  • Finding new adventures and unique experiences
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
I am listening to you!...I'm an adrenaline junkie (work critical care for a reason), and I multitask well. At times people think that I am not paying attention or listening to them when I am. Then I have to recite everything they told me verbatim and assure them that they have my full attention.
The things I can't live without are:
  • God/Faith
  • Family
  • Happiness
  • Love
  • Fine Arts
The first thing people notice about me:
My quick wit accompanied by laughter. Usually when I start telling jokes and laughing it becomes infectious.
Some additional information I want you to know:
I treasure a man with a quick smile, good joke, quick wit and knows that is okay just to be quiet and reflect on things, but is also fun loving and adventurous. Perfection is impossible remember, but laughter is essential.

I typically spend my leisure time:
Enjoy reading, movies, listening to music, gym, cycling, gardening,board/card games (esp scrabble). Enjoy learning new things. Last year I took classes on organic gardening, composting, urban chicken keeping and beekeeping. This year, I would like to learn how to dance the salsa, mambo, merengue. Love to travel! Some favorite destinations:used to live in Cali-so all major cities there, Seattle, Olympic Mountains, New York City and Aruba. On my wish list: Egypt, France, Greece, England, Italy, Morocco and a ride down Hwy 1 in a convertible! I love fast things (esp. motorcycles), with the exception of amusement park rides with big drops.

My friends describe me as:
  • Creative
  • Caring
  • Intelligent
  • Spontaneous
Last edited by uniquegurl; October 11,2010 at 6:13am.
 
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uniquegurl is offline uniquegurl Post #2  October 11,2010, 10:31am
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Motto to live by...Breath in, Breath out, move on.

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Help from anyone pleezzee.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54Advice Official Moderator Post #3  October 11,2010, 10:50am
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It's a very good profile. It's interesting and fun to read, very well-written, has a lot for a match to respond to, and assuming it's accurate in describing you it paints a vivid picture.

Usually the "most passionate about" section should be about 1 thing that really drives you -- being a nurse, or gardening, or whatever it is. Your section is not specific. So that's the one section I think you could rewrite, to give your matches a better sense of you. This is also the first section matches see. It's well written and I like it, but maybe you could move it to "additional info".

Take a look at this EH article for some ideas about writing this section:

Using eHarmony: Answering the 'Passionate' Question
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  October 11,2010, 11:28am
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Not really your intended audience so I don't like to comment. However, I do agree with Sassafras that your passionate about could be redone a bit.

Also, my pet peeve is people who use quotes in their profile. It's such a small glimpse into who you are - use your own words. I won't close a person out for it, but.....

Hope some of the men on the boards will pipe in with what they think and how it all reads to them.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  October 11,2010, 1:31pm
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I agree with sassy and DF.. well written and one of the better ones I've read.. However your most passionate section, the answer you have is great, just not sure it all fits here. on another site love it!
So with that said it just needs another tweek imo..
my answers in red..
uniquegurl wrote :
*******************************************
The one thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about making a difference. I am passionate about living life so that when I leave this earth, I will have very few regrets. I am happy that I realized early in life that things are just not that important. Things I love: the warmth of the sun on my face, snow falling on my eyelashes and face, smell of fresh cut grass or baked bread, walking in the rain, the sound of genuine laughter, my daughter telling me "Mom I don't know why I love you so much ," while holding my face in her hands. I also enjoy "me time" to explore new options and learn new things.
How are you making a difference though, By smelling grass.. you might want to expand how you are doing that.. The wish people would notice answer might work better here. shows some of your passion imo.
The rest of the stuff is really just all fluff!! except your daughter of course.. I would move that elsewhere

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Looking for a "fellow adventurer on the road of life". I am unique, curious, independent, thoughtful, compassionate and have a wicked sense of humor. You are kind, sincere, understanding and fun! Together I hope we will laugh, travel, explore and enjoy our mutual interests & develop new ones. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
not a fan on using quotes in profiles. too much of you in this section I would remove some of it. however I do like the together I hope we will part
The most influential person in my life has been:
My grandmother. She was very good at giving advice, never judged and always accepted people for who they are.
I don't believe you... just kidding

The three things which I am most thankful for:
1. Having faith in God that things will turn out okay, "when life gets in the way."
2. My family, for their unconditional love and support.
3. That I color "outside of the lines".
fine.. moving on

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I am listening to you!...I'm an adrenaline junkie (work critical care for a reason), and I multitask well. At times people think that I am not paying attention or listening to them when I am. Then I have to recite everything they told me verbatim and assure them that they have my full attention.
I still think parts of this show your passion more than what you wish people would notice, at least the multi-tasking and add junkie
The things I can't live without are:
  • God/Faith
  • Family
  • Happiness
  • Love
  • Fine Arts
Already mentioned god and family above, pick things that are odd( not cliche') the bullet points catch the eye of the reader (we men skim) use your humor too, also expand a little like you did in the other section

example My scrubs: without them I would be nekkid at work!


The first thing people notice about me:
My quick wit accompanied by laughter. Usually when I start telling jokes and laughing it becomes infectious.
Nothing to see here moving on
Some additional information I want you to know:
I treasure a man with a quick smile, good joke, quick wit and knows that is okay just to be quiet and reflect on things, but is also fun loving and adventurous. Perfection is impossible remember, but laughter is essential.
The first line should go above in the looking for section
This should be about you and you only imo
Bring down the I'm unique line from that section to here. Also tell why you are those things..

I typically spend my leisure time:
Enjoy reading, movies, listening to music, gym, cycling, gardening,board/card games (esp scrabble). Enjoy learning new things. Last year I took classes on organic gardening, composting, urban chicken keeping and beekeeping. This year, I would like to learn how to dance the salsa, mambo, merengue. Love to travel! Some favorite destinations:used to live in Cali-so all major cities there, Seattle, Olympic Mountains, New York City and Aruba. On my wish list: Egypt, France, Greece, England, Italy, Morocco and a ride down Hwy 1 in a convertible! I love fast things (esp. motorcycles), with the exception of amusement park rides with big drops.
Lots of good stuff here, but it looks crammed! is there a way to break it up? or bring some of it into addtional info especially the things you want to do.. can you you spend time doing it, if you haven't done it already..
 
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uniquegurl is offline uniquegurl Post #6  October 11,2010, 9:14pm
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Motto to live by...Breath in, Breath out, move on.

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Posts: 69

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Thanks for the help. I re-worked it...better or worse?
*******************************************
The one thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about making a difference. I am passionate about living life so that when I leave this earth, I will have very few regrets. I am happy that I realized early in life that things are just not that important. Things I love: the warmth of the sun on my face, snow falling on my eyelashes and face, smell of fresh cut grass or baked bread, walking in the rain, the sound of genuine laughter, my daughter telling me "Mom I don't know why I love you so much ," while holding my face in her hands. I also enjoy "me time" to explore new options and learn new things.

I am passionate about making a difference. I am passionate about living life so that when I leave this earth, I will have very few regrets. I am happy that I realized early in life that things are just not that important. I want you to know that, I am listening to you!...As an adrenaline junkie (work critical care for a reason), and I multitask so well it seems like a hobby. At times people think that I am not paying attention or listening to them when I am. Then I have to recite everything they told me verbatim and assure them that they have my full attention. I also enjoy "me time" to explore new options and learn new things.
The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Looking for a "fellow adventurer on the road of life". I am unique, curious, independent, thoughtful, compassionate and have a wicked sense of humor. You are kind, sincere, understanding and fun! Together I hope we will laugh, travel, explore and enjoy our mutual interests & develop new ones. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
Looking for a "fellow adventurer on the road of life. I treasure a man with a quick smile, good joke, quick wit and knows that is okay just to be quiet and reflect on things You are kind, sincere, understanding and fun! Together I hope we will laugh, travel, explore and enjoy our mutual interests & develop new ones. I hope to find the type of love where I will remember you forever…
Basic Information
Critical Care RN , Age: 47, 5' 10", Wants Kids: Maybe, Kids at Home: Yes, African-American, Religion: Christian, Drinks: About once a week, Smokes: Never
The most influential person in my life has been:
My grandmother. She was very good at giving advice, never judged and always accepted people for who they are.
The three things which I am most thankful for:
1. Having faith in God that things will turn out okay, "when life gets in the way."

2. My family, for their unconditional love and support.

3. That I color "outside of the lines".

Three of my best life-skills are:
  • Creating romance in a relationship
  • Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis
  • Finding new adventures and unique experiences
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
I am listening to you!...I'm an adrenaline junkie (work critical care for a reason), and I multitask well. At times people think that I am not paying attention or listening to them when I am. Then I have to recite everything they told me verbatim and assure them that they have my full attention.
Things I love: the warmth of the sun on my face, snow falling on my eyelashes and face, smell of fresh cut grass or baked bread, walking in the rain, the sound of genuine laughter, my daughter telling me "Mom I don't know why I love you so much ," while holding my face in her hands.
The things I can't live without are:
  • God/Faith
  • Family
  • Happiness
  • Love
  • Fine Arts

The first thing people notice about me:

My quick wit accompanied by laughter. Usually when I start telling jokes and laughing it becomes infectious.
My quick wit accompanied by laughter. Usually when I start telling jokes and laughing it becomes infectious. Other things I can't live without: 1. A psychiatrist if I ever make another cross-country journey (driving) with family…I am rolling my eyes at the thought of it. 2. Singing…I sing because I am happy...unfortunately, I am tone deaf and cannot carry a tune for anything. 3. A good lie to tell the officer when I am stopped for speeding.

Some additional information I want you to know:
I treasure a man with a quick smile, good joke, quick wit and knows that is okay just to be quiet and reflect on things, but is also fun loving and adventurous. Perfection is impossible remember, but laughter is essential.
I am unique, curious, independent, thoughtful, compassionate and have a wicked sense of humor…Love to travel! Some favorite destinations: used to live in Cali-so all major cities there, Seattle, Olympic Mountains, New York City and Aruba. On my wish list: Egypt, France, Greece, England, Italy, Morocco and a ride down Hwy 1 in a convertible! I love fast things (esp. motorcycles), with the exception of amusement park rides with big drops.
I typically spend my leisure time:
Enjoy reading, movies, listening to music, gym, cycling, gardening,board/card games (esp scrabble). Enjoy learning new things. Last year I took classes on organic gardening, composting, urban chicken keeping and beekeeping. This year, I would like to learn how to dance the salsa, mambo, merengue. Love to travel! Some favorite destinations:used to live in Cali-so all major cities there, Seattle, Olympic Mountains, New York City and Aruba. On my wish list: Egypt, France, Greece, England, Italy, Morocco and a ride down Hwy 1 in a convertible! I love fast things (esp. motorcycles), with the exception of amusement park rides with big drops.
Enjoy reading, movies, listening to music, gym, cycling, gardening,board/card games (esp scrabble). Enjoy learning new things. Last year I took classes on organic gardening, composting, urban chicken keeping and beekeeping. This year, I would like to learn how to dance the salsa, mambo, merengue…it does not matter if you have two left feet. It’s about the experience.
Last edited by uniquegurl; October 14,2010 at 4:10pm. Reason: update
 
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