sfnurse is offline sfnurse Post #1  October 10,2010, 1:20pm
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After getting to the third stage of communication, I haven't heard from a guy in almost a week. Yesterday he looked at my profile so today I looked at his. It said to "give him time" to answer back but there was no link to eHarmony mail him. I actually was going to ask him if he archived/closed me (which I can live with) and then I would do the same. I have a feeling he did but cannot confirm. Does anyone else know how I can confirm this? If he is still interested (and just taking a long time to answer) then i don't want to close him out. thanks!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  October 10,2010, 1:45pm
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He probably is a non-paying member who is using the free guided communication event that ends today..they have to pay to use e-harmony mail..

If he had closed you.. the communication status would read closed.. and he would be moved into your archive folder ( unless you changed the setting)

as an fyi ..you or your match can not archive someone you are in GC with.. It's communicate or close.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 10,2010 at 1:54pm.
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #3  October 10,2010, 1:48pm
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There is a setting on one of the settings pages where there is a checkbox to move someone to your archive tab if they archive or close you. I'd check that. Then, as long as someone is on your communicating tab, they haven't archived or closed you.

Maybe he's just thinking about replying, what to say next...or maybe his membership has temporarily expired and he can't respond right now.

Either way, the thing to do is to stop worrying about this guy. Let the match just sit there, and start communicating with others. He may spring back to life at some point in the future, maybe he won't. If you haven't heard from him in a couple of months, it would be safe to close him then.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  October 10,2010, 3:32pm

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Hi Sfnurse,

Welcome to eHarmony and eHarmony Advice!

Well, the suggestion on his profile is appropriate – he may need time. That’s pretty standard for eHarmony. For various reasons, people wait for different amounts of time to respond.

I know that it can be tough at this stage when you can write the full statements of things you want to say to your matches. It’s actually part of the design to keep people’s activity more private until you’ve addressed deal-breaker issues and get to eHarmony Mail.

If he still hasn’t responded in 7 days, you can send him a Nudge by clicking on his profile and clicking the gray button with the pointer finger.

I’d actually suggest archiving rather than closing the match if you’re interested and he hasn’t responded in a while. This leaves it open for him to respond, but puts him out of sight (and hopefully out of mind) so you can focus on other matches. If later he responses, then you haven’t sabotaged your chance to connect by prematurely closing the match.

Good luck!

~Kate
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  October 10,2010, 3:39pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
I’d actually suggest archiving rather than closing the match if you’re interested and he hasn’t responded in a while. This leaves it open for him to respond, but puts him out of sight (and hopefully out of mind) so you can focus on other matches. If later he responses, then you haven’t sabotaged your chance to connect by prematurely closing the match.

Good luck!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Kate correct me if I am wrong and something changed since the archive folder came out. I don't think you can move a match into the archive folder once you are in GC, close or communicate are the only choices..
 
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sfnurse is offline sfnurse Post #6  October 10,2010, 3:44pm
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Hmm... alright - well some of this makes sense. Maybe he's confused too but i really am not too worried about it. If he closes me, so be it but it's an interesting thing to know for the future. I'll also be interested to hear what Kate answers to your question, Trek. Thank you all for the responses!!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  October 10,2010, 3:50pm
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sfnurse wrote :
Hmm... alright - well some of this makes sense. Maybe he's confused too but i really am not too worried about it. If he closes me, so be it but it's an interesting thing to know for the future. I'll also be interested to hear what Kate answers to your question, Trek. Thank you all for the responses!!
You can answer it too by going to his profile..what does it say?

since you are waiting for his reply.. that would be the status, but once you go to his profile it says close.. right?...no option to archive!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  October 10,2010, 3:52pm

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TrekRyder10 wrote :
Kate correct me if I am wrong and something changed since the archive folder came out. I don't think you can move a match into the archive folder once you are in GC, close or communicate are the only choices..
That's right, TrekRyder10. My understanding is that it's been that way since it (the archive tab) came out. So my mistake for suggesting the Archive option, Sfnurse!

Instead of archiving or closing, you could always resort your matches on the My Matches/Communicating/New pages so that matches you haven't heard from in a while go toward the bottom. You can do this by making it sort by Communicating, Recent Activity, or Match Received Date.

Hope that makes more sense. Thanks for keeping me on my toes.

~Kate
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sfnurse is offline sfnurse Post #9  October 10,2010, 8:21pm
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will enjoy this holiday season!!

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TrekRyder10 wrote :
You can answer it too by going to his profile..what does it say?

since you are waiting for his reply.. that would be the status, but once you go to his profile it says close.. right?...no option to archive!
yes indeed! Thanks again!

Kate - I will do the resorting thing.
 
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