Ladies, why would you repeatedly view a match...


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Co6aka is offline Co6aka Post #1  October 7,2010, 8:04pm
Co6aka's Avatar

says, ''BARK! and you have no idea how humans will respond.''

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

Nooh Yawk

Posts: 1,219

See profile

Ladies, why would you repeatedly view, over the course of several days, a match but not respond to his first questions nor close him? (Assume that you're paid members or it's free-whatever time.)

Thanks.
 
  Reply With Quote
chimerical is offline chimerical Post #2  October 7,2010, 8:14pm
chimerical's Avatar

is an albino axolotl.

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2009

Arkansas

Posts: 4,154

See profile

Co6aka wrote :
Ladies, why would you repeatedly view, over the course of several days, a match but not respond to his first questions nor close him? (Assume that you're paid members or it's free-whatever time.)

Thanks.
His profile is attractive but there's a dealbreaker or near-dealbreaker, and she's agonizing over it.

Or, his profile is not attractive, but she's being wishy-washy and thinking, "Should I give him a chance anyway? Is it worth a potentially bad date?"

I don't know if I've ever done this or not, but that seems to be the most likely cause behind it, to me.


ETA: Maybe she doesn't realize you can see her looking, too. Maybe she forgot who you were, because she had so many matches, and so keeps clicking on it by accident. Maybe she rarely/never closes anyone because it's an annoying, multi-step process. Eh, who knows...
 
  Reply With Quote
YellowUmbrella is offline YellowUmbrella Post #3  October 7,2010, 8:19pm
YellowUmbrell…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 53

See profile

The same reason some guys do it? :P
I'm seeing the same thing happen.. no idea!
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  October 8,2010, 6:42am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,322

See profile

So many in the inbox... "Wait,.... who was Jane from Anytown?" Which one was that? The somewhat cute one, but with all the cats in every pic? or wait....Was she the one that had the swimsuit picture...... from 10 years ago? or wait... the blond whose ex was the jerk?

Hmmmm..... better go back and look. Don't want to send something to the wrong one.


YellowUmbrella wrote :
The same reason some guys do it? :P
I'm seeing the same thing happen.. no idea!
 
  Reply With Quote
charmed59 is offline charmed59 Post #5  October 8,2010, 6:57am
charmed59's Avatar

Life is good.

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2010

Northern California

Posts: 1,074

See profile

Wiseman2 wrote :
So many in the inbox... "Wait,.... who was Jane from Anytown?" Which one was that? The somewhat cute one, but with all the cats in every pic? or wait....Was she the one that had the swimsuit picture...... from 10 years ago? or wait... the blond whose ex was the jerk?

Hmmmm..... better go back and look. Don't want to send something to the wrong one.
Yes, that's why I look at the profiles over and over, from a name and place I can't remember their profile. (Thumbnail pictures would help, did they change this in the last 3 months since I turned matching off?) If I'm active, I look at them when they come in, but might not have the time to sort.

Later I sort and send first questions to some, but I try not to have more than 10 "active" at any one time. So there are good profiles I might want to wait a few days on, as I don't want to start the process and be overwhelmed with responses on one day.

When I go back to send them questions I look at their profile again, to make sure I'm not sending questions they already answered in their profile.
 
  Reply With Quote
Immerito is offline Immerito Post #6  October 8,2010, 7:16am
Immerito's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Texas

Posts: 371

See profile

Wiseman2 wrote :
So many in the inbox... "Wait,.... who was Jane from Anytown?" Which one was that? The somewhat cute one, but with all the cats in every pic? or wait....Was she the one that had the swimsuit picture...... from 10 years ago? or wait... the blond whose ex was the jerk?

Hmmmm..... better go back and look. Don't want to send something to the wrong one.
Speaking as a woman, I agree with this; I'd rather view a match repeatedly to make sure I am not mixing up matches than risk insulting a match by revealing that I had so little consideration to ensure I was asking questions appropriate to HIS activities and interests.
 
  Reply With Quote
fifilaroach is offline fifilaroach Post #7  October 8,2010, 7:55am
fifilaroach's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2010

Asheville, NC

Posts: 4

See profile

There needs to be pictures. I can't remember just from names. That's the only reason I reopen matches.
I try to save new ones that are promising a few days, but since no one is ever contacting me I guess I should just archive immediately!!! Discouraged.
 
  Reply With Quote
Co6aka is offline Co6aka Post #8  October 8,2010, 12:54pm
Co6aka's Avatar

says, ''BARK! and you have no idea how humans will respond.''

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

Nooh Yawk

Posts: 1,219

See profile

BUT... I'm referring to a match who has sent his first questions to you; he initiated; FIRST questions, which are rather simple to answer. When I began using eH and writing my answers I saved them into a text file, so now I mostly copy and paste; they're like templates, so answering most sets of questions only takes a minute. Perhaps my presumption that others did the same was in error?

Anyway, when a match initiates, sends me her first questions, I look at her profile and questions and decide to either answer her questions or close her, and promptly do so. I don't spend the next five days looking at her profile again and again and again. That's what I'm trying to understand; what's her logic? Is she taping her picture beside mine on her monitor screen and trying to imagine us as a couple? Maybe I'm hilarious-looking and she needed a few laughs? Maybe it's because my dog is extremely cute?

My curiosity doesn't involve impatience; I just don't get along with women who don't know what they want and/or can't make a decision, and I'm wondering if their inaction reflects that, which would be a dealbreaker.

Hey, maybe they're just leaving the best for last!
 
  Reply With Quote
ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #9  October 8,2010, 2:23pm
ISearch4Love's Avatar

I'd rather love someone I can't have than have someone I can't love.

Sage

Joined: Aug 2010

Ohio

Posts: 12,591

See profile

Co6aka wrote :
Hey, maybe they're just leaving the best for last!
If I were you I'd go with that one!
 
  Reply With Quote
beasioux is offline beasioux Post #10  October 8,2010, 6:50pm
beasioux's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2010

Posts: 60

See profile

If you hover over the persons name in the who's viewed me tab, you can get a thumbnail. It's nice, but if they haven't viewed your profile, you're out of luck. Would be nice if they did this for every section.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« eHa vs. In-person meeting/dating: Are we more picky here? | Using eHarmony | Are you afraid to communicate? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Using eHarmony: How NOT to Become a Disappointing Match Gr8Guyn2008 Using eHarmony 79 February 25,2011 4:42pm
Free Communication Weekend and the Theory of Match Counts ScottK Using eHarmony 19 November 11,2010 11:10am
match has declined your eHarmony Mail request - Frustrating not understanding! trakar43 Using eHarmony 9 July 6,2010 8:35pm
Match Termination Notification harmonious Using eHarmony 1 January 23,2010 6:11pm
Match requests communication. Or do they? MissNiniG Using eHarmony 4 January 4,2010 12:51pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:54pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0