fedup3 is offline fedup3 Post #1  October 6,2010, 6:07pm
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hopes for better weather.

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I am fairly new on this and would like to know if a match has not viewed you in a few days, is it because they are no longer active, or is there a way for them to view you without you knowing it? I would really like to contact this match but not if he is no longer there

Thanks.
Last edited by fedup3; October 6,2010 at 6:15pm.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  October 6,2010, 7:55pm
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fedup3 wrote :
I am fairly new on this and would like to know if a match has not viewed you in a few days, is it because they are no longer active, or is there a way for them to view you without you knowing it? I would really like to contact this match but not if he is no longer there

Thanks.
Only one way to find out, just send the questions..

I've been a eH member for a long-time, I stopped concerning myself with who viewed what-when and how.. the only thing I care about is - who I am actually in communication with...

There used to be a setting that allowed you to view matches anonymously. It has since been removed, some long-time members are grandfathered but will ose it eventually.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #3  October 6,2010, 8:12pm
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Don't over analyze things, if you're interested send questions and see what happens.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #4  October 7,2010, 8:15am
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chooses his words carefully. (Most of the time!)

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ISearch4Love wrote :
Don't over analyze things, if you're interested send questions and see what happens.
This! I've only ever had ONE person contact me before I contacted her first. It's a shame that she had a few deal breakers (for me) in her profile, because I was really excited about the whole thing.

If only eHarmony sent out an advice email simply stating: "Women: Men like it if you contact them first, but it still doesn't make you look desperate or too easy"
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  October 7,2010, 9:35am

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fedup3 wrote :
I am fairly new on this and would like to know if a match has not viewed you in a few days, is it because they are no longer active, or is there a way for them to view you without you knowing it? I would really like to contact this match but not if he is no longer there

Thanks.
Hi Fedup3,

Sorry about the possible disappointment. There could be a few reasons why the match hasn't viewed you.

For example, the match may have been a member for a while and have the "anonymous" views. Or, it could be that the match is busy with other matches, or not logging in or whatever.

I don't know whether or not you have already initiated communication, but if you have sent questions, you can wait 7 days since the first communication, click your match's profile, and click the "Nudge" button with the pointer finger. This will send your match another e-mail that you're interested in communicating.

If you haven't sent questions, I agree that you should! And I would agree that it's best to shift your focus to other matches if this is taking up your energy. You may want to archive the match if that's the case to get them out of view.

Harryoss wrote :
If only eHarmony sent out an advice email simply stating: "Women: Men like it if you contact them first, but it still doesn't make you look desperate or too easy"
We have! Check this out: Ladies: How to Make a Connection

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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SoilderLover is offline SoilderLover Post #6  October 7,2010, 10:13am
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I have only had one match that viewed me before I viewed him and many of them that haven't vriewed me at all yet.

None of them contacted me first either. I have and there is only one that has communicated back to me the three weeks that I have been on here.

I have had a few that closed me out after I viewed them or sent me questions.

Like all the others said if you are interested I would send the questions, especially now while its still free communication even is going on until October 10th from what I read in another post on here.

Some people also may not be paying members and that could be why they haven't contacted you. Or like you said no longer on the site or forgot to turn off their matches until they are ready for more.
 
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CreativeNan is offline CreativeNan Post #7  October 7,2010, 6:54pm
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Harryoss wrote :
If only eHarmony sent out an advice email simply stating: "Women: Men like it if you contact them first, but it still doesn't make you look desperate or too easy"

I actually have initiated communication with several matches. I received one response: CLOSE MATCH
I did appreciate that he closed me out. It did not leave me wondering, lol
 
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YellowUmbrella is offline YellowUmbrella Post #8  October 7,2010, 7:55pm
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Harryoss wrote :
If only eHarmony sent out an advice email simply stating: "Women: Men like it if you contact them first, but it still doesn't make you look desperate or too easy"
Haha this is good because I'm on a contact-first rampage. They don't even get a chance to send me the first wave of questions because I've already done it. I figure why be coy when I'm -paying- to be on the site?
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #9  October 7,2010, 8:12pm
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YellowUmbrella wrote :
Haha this is good because I'm on a contact-first rampage. They don't even get a chance to send me the first wave of questions because I've already done it. I figure why be coy when I'm -paying- to be on the site?
Finally someone that gets it..
 
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Immerito is offline Immerito Post #10  October 8,2010, 9:25am
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I have often wondered why eHarmony's model is not more like Chemistry's in one respect.

On Chemistry, you have to decide if you are interested or not in certain matches, or you do not get new matches. By the next FCW on chemistry, you will know whether or not someone is interested in you (this allows for those who are not subscribers on Chemistry to indicate interest during a FCW).
 
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