RedApple is offline RedApple Post #1  October 5,2010, 8:51pm
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I have my kids on 2 to 3 days per week. eH has the question written "How many children do you have who are 18 years old or younger and living full time in your home?", so I answered 0. But I wrote in the section "Additional things I want my partner to know" that I have two kids who are with me on 2-3 days per week. Will this be ok?

I don't really like my answer "Kids at home: 0", since it may be misleading to somebody who does not read the entire profile. Also, some women may have selected to be matched only with men who do not have kids at home, and perhaps this means no kids at all?

But writing "2" is no good either, since they don't live with me all the time, and I don't want to scare away women who have selected no kids in their preference but might not mind having kids at home part-time.

What do you think? And why on earth is there no answer "Part-time" to the question "Kids at home"?
Last edited by RedApple; October 5,2010 at 8:54pm.
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #2  October 5,2010, 9:12pm
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You handled it about the best you can. That's a question that should be re-written but then they'd have to get everyone to re-answer it because nothing would match up in the database! So there is no easy answer.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #3  October 5,2010, 9:35pm
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pammersw wrote :
You handled it about the best you can. That's a question that should be re-written but then they'd have to get everyone to re-answer it because nothing would match up in the database! So there is no easy answer.
Agreed. You handled it the best way possible, imo. Good luck!
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #4  October 6,2010, 5:59am
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This has been a concern for a lot of people, you're not alone on this.pammersw's post was dead on, you did all you can do.
 
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charmed59 is offline charmed59 Post #5  October 6,2010, 6:52am
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It would be nice if eHarmony could make this more precise. I found that since it is kind of fuzzy people make assumptions. If they see a woman with "kids at home" they assume she's divorced and the dad takes the kids every other weekend or something like that.

I've run into disappointed matches when they find I'm widowed and yes, my daughter is always with me. (The fact that I'm widowed is mentioned in my profile, but the fact that then my daughter doesn't have another parent to share time with is not.)

I'd love to see both the marital status (divorced, never married, widowed) added to the profiles as well as an option for "kids at home sometimes", and even better, age ranges for the kids at home.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  October 6,2010, 7:37am
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Need for more clarity is an understatement. For me it's such a waste to be matched with men with kids - live home or not is irrelevant. For a compatibility based site, this kind of deal breaking vagueness is truly absurd.

To the OP, kudos for disclosing that you have children. I think you've done the best that you can given the lack of true options.
 
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