Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #21  July 20,2011, 10:44pm
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The problem, jellen, is that when you create a profile and get matched on eH, the people you see as matches also see you as a match -- even if you have not paid for a subscription. And they expect that you're not legally married, because that's a requirement of EH.

(And the Terms of Service does state that to use the service you can't be married -- so you are informed upfront that you're not eligible.)
 
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charmed59 is offline charmed59 Post #22  July 21,2011, 6:55am
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But she has a good point, why doesn't it say this when you check the separated box? Not after filling in the rest of the questions?

Why does eHarmony want you to fill in the rest of the questions if they know they are going to toss you out when you finish? From a marketing perspective, wouldn't you think they wouldn't want to annoy people that in a few months might want to use their service?
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #23  July 21,2011, 9:05am
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I suspect it's deliberately setup to discourage people who are seperated from going back in selecting 'divorced' - if it lets them complete the whole questionnaire they are less likely to re-attempt application with a false declaration of marriage status.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #24  July 21,2011, 10:59am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
I suspect it's deliberately setup to discourage people who are seperated from going back in selecting 'divorced' - if it lets them complete the whole questionnaire they are less likely to re-attempt application with a false declaration of marriage status.
+1!

I suspect you are absolutely right.
If eHarmony stopped people right away, most users would probably clear their browser cookies, and then just start over and select Divorced, assuming a little white lie won't hurt, as they will be "divorced" in a couple months, right?

But take them through the whole Questionnaire, before stopping them?
I suspect most users won't want to spend another hour redoing all those questions, and will just quit, rather than going back and lying on the first question.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #25  July 21,2011, 11:48am
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ScottK wrote :
..a little white lie won't hurt, as they will be "divorced" in a couple months
It's clearly a lie, but the color of the lie is open to interpretation.

I suspect Steve is right as to why they don't reveal that being separated will prevent you from being a member until the very end.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; July 21,2011 at 11:51am.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #26  July 21,2011, 12:04pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
It's clearly a lie, but the color of the lie is open to interpretation.

I suspect Steve is right as to why they don't reveal that being separated will prevent you from being a member until the very end.
Oh, I don't think I phrased that right.

I would be appalled and very mad if one of my Matches lied about their status!
I expect all my Matches to be either never married, or divorced!
Period!

My text above about a "little white lie", was meaning it as "what they would be thinking", when they went in and lied to say "Divorced".
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #27  July 21,2011, 12:26pm
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ScottK wrote :
I would be appalled and very mad if one of my Matches lied about their status!
What determines a lie's color is how much harm it inflicts.

One of my matches, L., revealed in her stage 3 answers that she was separated. The harm she inflicted upon me was the time I spent thinking about her in stage 1, 2, and writing her stage 3 questions.

You can hold them responsible for wasting your time. You're responsible for letting it affect you so much. Another woman S. wasted even more of my time when she deceived me with old photos and the true statement that she liked hiking--though she could barely walk three blocks!
Last edited by shapeShifter79; July 21,2011 at 12:30pm.
 
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mitchell175 is online now mitchell175 Post #28  July 23,2011, 2:06pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
What determines a lie's color is how much harm it inflicts.

One of my matches, L., revealed in her stage 3 answers that she was separated. The harm she inflicted upon me was the time I spent thinking about her in stage 1, 2, and writing her stage 3 questions.
What the "separated" person is doing with their "little white lie" is taking away my ability to make an informed choice. Sure, he's not wasting significant amounts of my time to get through the first 3 stages of questions before springing his "situation" on me. But, he would not have wasted any amount of my time if he was honest from the beginning about his marital status. And I would not have wasted any amount of his time.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #29  July 23,2011, 5:12pm
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I would think another reason for not shutting down the questionnaire process once the separated box is checked is so you can come back and prove you are now legally divorced and still use the same account. It does stay in the system for a long time.
 
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Flutterb is offline Flutterb Post #30  March 18,2012, 10:10am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I would think another reason for not shutting down the questionnaire process once the separated box is checked is so you can come back and prove you are now legally divorced and still use the same account. It does stay in the system for a long time.
I still think it is a ridiculous waste of someone's time. I have been seperated for over a year and am ready to start dating however I live in the UK where there is no such thing as a no fault divorce. To have a no fault divorce I have to wait two years then prove we have been living apart, it is not due to a reluctance to move on etc just a mutual decision to not make up nasty things about the other in order to get divorced.

I do however have no issues with eharmonys policy, it is their site their policies but see no reason why they could not decline immediately. The idea that it is because anyone seperated would then lie to join is insulting and patronising. I certainly would not want to start a relationship based on a lie. Once I am divorced you can be assured I will not be looking to eharmony.

As for pre-reading the terms and conditions how many people actually do that? Really? However the inclusion of that term allows you to flagrently waste people's time and then point at the terms. Why on earth waste their time in the first place, very odd
 
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