Joadams is offline Joadams Post #1  October 3,2010, 6:10am
Joadams's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2010

Posts: 42

See profile

I have been on e-harmony for over a year. And I have not found love.. heck not even a date. Anyone else had has much trouble as me ? I do not know what I am doing wrong . I mean I really want someone and it looks like that is never going to happen.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  October 3,2010, 6:21am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Many people have similar problems. I have been on eHarmony a lot longer than you and not found the "love of my life" yet.

You don't say much about your experience on eHarmony. Such as are you getting matches? Are your matches communicating, do they view you or close you without ever communicating? Are you being proactive and initiating with your matches?

Give us more information on exactly what your experience is and we can give you ideas that may help. If you have not retaken the Questionnaire since joining a year ago then you should consider re-taking it. You can also post your profile for review in the Using eHarmony board.
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #3  October 3,2010, 6:30am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

I agree with post #2.

Also, if you give up, then for certain you will never find a match on eH. I definitely feel your sentiments. It is hard. Trust me, I know and at times feel like giving up, but I don't want to be a quitter.

Online dating should only be a means to meeting someone, not your sole means. Meeting people outside of online dating should be a huge consideration.

Do as you wish, but perhaps you can take the suggestions/advice into consideration before making a final decison.

B.Y.
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  October 3,2010, 6:39am
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,164

See profile

The thing to remember is the EH is just one of the ways that you can look for/find a parter...

Don't forget to be living a full and joyful life doing the activities that you love to do...art class, cooking class, learn to scuba dive, hiking club, etc...

Be out there every day...chatting with people in line at the grocery store...out with friends having a drink, upcoming holiday parties....

Make it a habit to flirt with one person each day...

When you are out there feeling complete, confident, and joyful, it will show through to those you meet and they will want to meet you!!

With EH..I agree to maybe post your profile on the other board here called Using Eharmony..and give us a chance to look at your profile and see if there is maybe something that is not coming across in the best way...

If you feel like taking a break from dating..then by all means..that is certainly ok to do...but don't give up completely....love is out there when you least expect it..

And most of...Have FUN with the process...
 
  Reply With Quote
Joadams is offline Joadams Post #5  October 3,2010, 6:41am
Joadams's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2010

Posts: 42

See profile

Most matches just do not reply or close me. I am hitting "send message" a lot but it is not sent back. Most times nothing happens. The few times I do get a match and on the rare time it goes to open communication nothing comes of it.

And I am going to get my profile reviewed . I am dyslexic so I might have a spelling issue that I just have not found.
 
  Reply With Quote
socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #6  October 3,2010, 6:53am
socalgal55's Avatar

Enjoying the beginning of Fall

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2010

Southern CA

Posts: 926

See profile

Joadams wrote :
Most matches just do not reply or close me. I am hitting "send message" a lot but it is not sent back. Most times nothing happens. The few times I do get a match and on the rare time it goes to open communication nothing comes of it.

And I am going to get my profile reviewed . I am dyslexic so I might have a spelling issue that I just have not found.
Another issue is that about 75% of the people you are matched with are no longer on EH and have left their profile up. What I do is check who has viewed me, once someone has viewed me and they appeal to me I then send out the questions. Everyone who I get matched with goes into my archive file until they view me.

Not saying you need to do it my way. For me it cut down the frustration I was feeling, it also gave me a fairly accurate number as to how many of my matches were no longer active on EH.
 
  Reply With Quote
melman is offline melman Post #7  October 3,2010, 7:03am
melman's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 2,944

See profile

Joadams wrote :
Most matches just do not reply or close me. I am hitting "send message" a lot but it is not sent back. Most times nothing happens.
No one has mentioned that most of your matches are Not Really There. They are lapsed members or people that joined for free to look at their matches, never paid up and never came back. My estimate from 3 years on eH is that about 70% of the matches I got, never even viewed my profile. Others' estimates are higher but I don't think they have data to back it up.

You can't use eH with an attitude of "I really want someone". You will be doomed to continual frustration and self-doubt. Learn how to meet women for yourself in real life, and treat eH as another tool that "might" let you meet more women. You will be disappointed if you expect more.
 
  Reply With Quote
Bill1104 is offline Bill1104 Post #8  October 3,2010, 7:10am
Bill1104's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2010

All of USA based in Ringgold, LA

Posts: 486

See profile

I agree that a lot of the matches aren't really there.

Also, if you are located in a rural area, traffic may be slow. I live in very rural Louisiana and received just a few matches. Most often it was about one per month (within 50 miles).
 
  Reply With Quote
WhiteCrane is offline WhiteCrane Post #9  October 3,2010, 7:13am
WhiteCrane's Avatar

Is walking on the sunny side of the street

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2010

Canada

Posts: 710

See profile

Hanging around on the discussion boards has really saved the experience for me.

I had been blaming myself for lack of response --- too this, not enough that, no one will ever love me!!

But, in fact, many people are experiencing the same types of problems. It's reassuring to know that it's pretty common, AND that with perseverance and perhaps a bit of help on the profile, your luck might change. (A profile re-write & better photos certainly DID help my response rate.)

At least you can hang around with people who will sympathize with you!!

So, I'd say that the profile review sounds like an idea, and I'd suggest reading through some of the other threads and jumping in with your ideas too. That way, we can all help each other.

Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
annother is offline annother Post #10  October 3,2010, 7:15am
annother's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Apr 2010

Alberta

Posts: 10,735

See profile

Joadams wrote :
Most matches just do not reply or close me. I am hitting "send message" a lot but it is not sent back. Most times nothing happens. The few times I do get a match and on the rare time it goes to open communication nothing comes of it.

And I am going to get my profile reviewed . I am dyslexic so I might have a spelling issue that I just have not found.
I recommend posting your profile on the "Using eHarmony" board so that you can get feedback. There is a sticky with instructions on how to do that at the top of the list of threads on that board.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Matching on Physical Attractiveness: How is it done? | Using eHarmony | why do men do this and do women too?? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Giving out your name Theodore_99 Using eHarmony 28 September 16,2010 6:51am
Giving vs. Receiving Herne_the_Hunter let's talk about sex 10 July 9,2010 12:24pm
Giving gifts, does attaching strings make you selfish or show love? Confused10 Relationships 27 February 13,2010 12:04pm
Is Tithing Part of the New Covenant? rix Christian Singles 21 June 27,2009 12:13pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:48pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0