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pirategirlX is offline pirategirlX Post #1  October 2,2010, 7:55pm
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I am new to this. Is it a good idea to let the male initiate communication when desiring a male-led relationship? If so, how long is it going to take for a likable male to reach out to me? If not, when is an appropriate time for me to initiate conversation and how shallow should it be to not scare him off? HELP!!!
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #2  October 2,2010, 8:10pm
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I don't think you should wait on anyone to initiate communications with you. If you find a match to be interesting, then you should contact the person. Not everyone subscribes to traditional gender roles especially these days.

B.Y.
 
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RockSteady is offline RockSteady Post #3  October 2,2010, 8:18pm
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I doubt you'll scare off the kind of guys you're looking for (i.e. the one's that will lead a relationship), just by initiating contact. Just be sure to say more than "Hi". Find something in his profile that you like, and use that to start a conversation.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #4  October 2,2010, 8:27pm
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I never initiated communication last time I was on eH either, but I was thinking I might change that this time. I am typically more of a traditional person, but it's only a conversation, right?
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #5  October 2,2010, 8:52pm
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FruitaBu wrote :
I never initiated communication last time I was on eH either, but I was thinking I might change that this time. I am typically more of a traditional person, but it's only a conversation, right?
Pretty much. You may even have a change of heart duing the course of the correspondance. There are simply no gurantees whether you initiate communication with someone or not. Sometimes, you have to think outside the box and handle business.

B.Y.
 
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Immerito is offline Immerito Post #6  October 2,2010, 9:59pm
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Personally, I draw the line this way; since I would smile and say "hello" and have a light conversation with a gentleman in real life, I believe that sending first communication is the equivalent of a smile and small talk in real life.

However, being more traditional, I let the man suggest talking on the phone and/or meeting in person first; traditionally minded men will do so, non-traditionally minded men won't; therefore, I winnow out the non-traditionally minded men (who are therefore available for the non-traditionally minded ladies) and everyone is happy (in theory. :-) )
 
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RockSteady is offline RockSteady Post #7  October 2,2010, 10:32pm
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Immerito wrote :
Personally, I draw the line this way; since I would smile and say "hello" and have a light conversation with a gentleman in real life, I believe that sending first communication is the equivalent of a smile and small talk in real life. snip
exactly!
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #8  October 2,2010, 11:08pm
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Communication comes in so many forms whether it is online or in real life. Sending questions is like a quick smile, wave, hello, or a casual conversation with a stranger.

Fact is if the person you are interested in is both an active member (logging into the site) and wants to know you better...they will reply.

Most of the times it is simply a matter of who logs into their account first to send that first communication. So it will speed the process up if the match isn't a member that logs in every day.

I know when I was a member...the longer I was on the site...the less I logged in to check matches unless someone contacted me.

It's really a matter of catching the eye of a match...both in your profile and someone making that first communication.

Good luck with your search!
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #9  October 3,2010, 8:15am
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BabyYoda wrote :
I don't think you should wait on anyone to initiate communications with you. If you find a match to be interesting, then you should contact the person. Not everyone subscribes to traditional gender roles especially these days.

B.Y.
^^^ What he said ^^^
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #10  October 3,2010, 8:48am
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Agree ! Actually, it impresses me that they show interest, there is no advantage to being coy.
BabyYoda wrote :
I don't think you should wait on anyone to initiate communications with you. If you find a match to be interesting, then you should contact the person. Not everyone subscribes to traditional gender roles especially these days.

B.Y.
 
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