When Communication Comes to a Stop


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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #1  September 24,2010, 4:50am
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I got up to Stage 3 and Stage 4 of communication with a few people and then...nothing....how long should I wait to 'Close' them out? So far its been a week....
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  September 24,2010, 5:17am
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Personally I will them open indefinitely - it's no skin off my back to leave them open and I don't really care at that point about them or why they stopped. It could really be a million reasons out there. Besides, there are other active matches that I'm meeting and talking to. Until we've met and decided to continue seeing each other, we are total strangers and don't owe each other much.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #3  September 24,2010, 5:19am
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I'm having the same issue and in the couple months I've been using eH, it's never happened before. People usu. respond quickly and a few close...but 4 people in a row just not responding is freaking weird. I called customer service and they said the communications were delivered, but I sent a request for OC to the one guy anyway - I sent him stage 3 almost a month ago with no response, but he's viewed my profile a few times.

Curious to see what he says. As far as when to close, I generally don't - if it's someone I would be willing to talk to, I leave it open. I know I've had weeks when I've been inundated with interesting matches and am meeting a few - my responses to the ones that are later in the week are slower, just because I'm not very good at OC/phone/meeting with more than 3 or so people at once. I can't blame other people for being poor at multitasking, so if that's the case and they want to come back to me in a week or so, fine...they run the risk, as I do in the same situation, of someone more interesting showing up and being put on the back burner.
 
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #4  September 24,2010, 5:38am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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One guy I was communicating with breezed through the first 3 stages of communication with me in, like, 1 day and that was last Saturday...So I guess he mustn't have like my answers to his questions on Satge 3.

The other guy sent me a first email asking to meet in person, I responded asking him if he'd like to exchange numbers so we can chat and I never heard back from him, either...that was Monday.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  September 24,2010, 5:47am
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Tracyannk28 wrote :
One guy I was communicating with breezed through the first 3 stages of communication with me in, like, 1 day and that was last Saturday...So I guess he mustn't have like my answers to his questions on Satge 3.
More than likely he is new, and doesn't realize even though you've reached stage 4 (OC) it's still he's turn!

or you are on the backburner.

Leave this one open and then nudge.

wrote :
The other guy sent me a first email asking to meet in person, I responded asking him if he'd like to exchange numbers so we can chat and I never heard back from him, either...that was Monday.
This one I would close! impatient and not willing to accept what you're comfortable with.
 
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StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #6  September 24,2010, 5:49am
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I believe that a lot of people, like myself, have varying levels of interest in eH each day. Some days - like after a horrible first meet - I throw my hands up and vow never to log in again. A few days later I realize it's stupid to throw the baby out with the bathwater and I get back to the grind.

I try not to get too much invested in any one match until we meet in person. Once we meet in person, I start judging if their level of involvement is sufficient for my needs - i.e., do they call often enough. Prior to that, they're just a name on a screen and if they respond to my queries, great.

I rarely close out matches I've had communication with unless we've met in person and I know we're not going anywhere or something in their online communication kills my interest in meeting them.
 
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #7  September 24,2010, 5:54am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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TrekRyder10 wrote :
More than likely he is new, and doesn't realize even though you've reached stage 4 (OC) it's still he's turn!

or you are on the backburner.

Leave this one open and then nudge.

This one I would close! impatient and not willing to accept what you're comfortable with.
Yeah - that's what I was thinking as well. Guy #1 I'll keep open just in case, but the other guy I might as well close...
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #8  September 24,2010, 6:04am
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Tracyannk28 wrote :
One guy I was communicating with breezed through the first 3 stages of communication with me in, like, 1 day and that was last Saturday...So I guess he mustn't have like my answers to his questions on Satge 3.
Maybe this guy does all him communications on Saturday.

The other guy sent me a first email asking to meet in person, I responded asking him if he'd like to exchange numbers so we can chat and I never heard back from him, either...that was Monday.
This one's weird, don't know. Maybe he has a bad phone voice or something.
 
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #9  September 24,2010, 6:24am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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socalgal55 wrote :
This one's weird, don't know. Maybe he has a bad phone voice or something.
I just saw that the first guy viewed my profile today...so I dunno...I'll keep him open until the weekend is over.

The 2nd guy I'm just going to close-out...I wasn't too sure about him, anyway - which is why I wanted to chat ont he phone with him before meeting in person....
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #10  September 24,2010, 6:28am
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First off...
Don't Close them, unless you have lost interest in them as well.

There is no penalty in keeping them in your Matches list, and who knows, they might come around again, and pick up where you left off.

Of course, if you were on the fence with them anyway, and the silence has turned you off on them, then sure, Close them.

It is also possible they aren't as familiar with EH, so they aren't sure that is it their turn to go.
In this case, a Nudge after a week is warranted.
This should wake them up, and have them realize that it is their turn.
 
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