tlh is offline tlh Post #1  August 1,2010, 6:07pm
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I have very recently joined eHarmony and find I am getting too many matches each day to keep track of - I have over 70 matches in my matches tab, and without photos displayed on this screen I'm finding it hard to keep track. It's pretty overwhelming actually and I don't know where to begin. I'm also worried about hurting the feelings of my matches by ignoring them as there are too many to contact.

I've tried to narrow down my matches by adjusting my criteria, but still am getting more and more matches.

My approach is to archive someone I don't feel drawn to, but not close them so if I change my mind later I still have the option to contact them. However, can someone in your archive still contact you? I'd rather they didn't but am not sure. Can someone in your archive still see your profile?

I'd be grateful for responses as I don't where else to find out this information. Thanks.
 
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srtaw is offline srtaw Post #2  August 1,2010, 6:36pm

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To answer your question, yes they can still contact/see you if they're in your archive folder. If you don't want them to contact you, close them. What you're probably going to find is that most of the matches you're getting aren't even active. The way I handle it, for what it's worth - If I'm definitely not interested, I close. If I'm interested, I send first questions. For the rest - maybe they're a bit far away, maybe I don't find them so interesting, but wouldn't be opposed to giving it a shot if they contacted me - I archive them. But I'd definitely encourage you to contact anyone you may be interested in. For most, there's no one on the other end anyways, so that will at least help you get 'em off the matches page and out of your way. You won't have to deal with them again unless they respond to your questions.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  August 1,2010, 6:50pm
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I suggest that you go into your account settings and turn off matching until you have had a chance to deal with those currently in your inbox.

Then, you can simply turn matching back on when you are ready to look at more matches.

Don't worry about hurting someone's feelings by not contacting them right away. Even those who are actually active on the site won't necessarily expect to hear from every match right away (and, they always have the option of contacting you first if they are interested!).
 
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CluelessinATX is offline CluelessinATX Post #4  August 1,2010, 7:18pm
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srtaw wrote :
To answer your question, yes they can still contact/see you if they're in your archive folder. If you don't want them to contact you, close them. What you're probably going to find is that most of the matches you're getting aren't even active. The way I handle it, for what it's worth - If I'm definitely not interested, I close. If I'm interested, I send first questions. For the rest - maybe they're a bit far away, maybe I don't find them so interesting, but wouldn't be opposed to giving it a shot if they contacted me - I archive them. But I'd definitely encourage you to contact anyone you may be interested in. For most, there's no one on the other end anyways, so that will at least help you get 'em off the matches page and out of your way. You won't have to deal with them again unless they respond to your questions.

I agree totally!
 
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tlh is offline tlh Post #5  August 1,2010, 8:42pm
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Thanks to you all for your thoughtful responses. It has helped me feel a bit more positive about this process, and given me the courage to consider each individual match more closely.

Cheers!
 
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