kipty_29 is offline kipty_29 Post #1  July 30,2010, 11:44pm
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we have been exchanging emails for about a week or so, we both seem like a good fit.... but in one of the emails i discovered that she is really 34, not 30 like her profile said...
so, this makes her 5 years older than i am... i know for the "most" part age should not matter.... but why lie? why hide that from someone? why start something with a lie?...

should i confront her about this? should i ask her why? or just end it?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #2  July 31,2010, 12:00am
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kipty_29 wrote :
we have been exchanging emails for about a week or so, we both seem like a good fit.... but in one of the emails i discovered that she is really 34, not 30 like her profile said...
so, this makes her 5 years older than i am... i know for the "most" part age should not matter.... but why lie? why hide that from someone? why start something with a lie?...

should i confront her about this? should i ask her why? or just end it?
would you have contacted her if she stated on her profile that she was 34?
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMeAdvice Member-Moderator Post #3  July 31,2010, 12:11am
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I take issue with people who lie about their age. But, that is just me.

How did you discover this? Did she slip and say her actual age? Something was dated? If you have a question about it, just ask her.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54Advice Official Moderator Post #4  July 31,2010, 12:16am
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She told you in an email ... before you've met, right? So ....

If I got a great match, and then found out he was shorter or older or balder or whatever than he'd said on his profile ... I think my biggest concern would be that he *might* have self-esteem issues, or isn't very self-accepting. But I'd still see how things went. It's just a date or 2 or 3. If you fall in love you probably won't care what her age is.

It's a lie. Yes. Can you live with it? To me it's one of those little, embarrassed kinds of lies. Not like "I'm single, no really I am" while hiding the wedding ring, eh?
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #5  July 31,2010, 5:20am
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She told you before you met in person. She cleared it up. So what's the problem? And it's only 4 years, so it's vanity. Who doesn'r have some of that?

If you don't like her age, then stop communicating with her. But, don't lie to yourself that a self-confessed white lie is really bothering you this much.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #6  July 31,2010, 5:49am

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kipty_29 wrote :
we have been exchanging emails for about a week or so, we both seem like a good fit.... but in one of the emails i discovered that she is really 34, not 30 like her profile said...
so, this makes her 5 years older than i am... i know for the "most" part age should not matter.... but why lie? why hide that from someone? why start something with a lie?...

should i confront her about this? should i ask her why? or just end it?
Just treat her like a liar deserves to be treated.

Play her like a fiddle. Have sex with her, don't call her back. Yeah, that'll teach her.
 
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ScottK is online now ScottK Post #7  July 31,2010, 8:34am
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That is definitely weird.

At her age, (and your age), lying about your age is very unusual.

For females at her age, if she is going to lie about something, it is much more common she is going to lie about her weight/body type.

I can't say that I have ever run into this, generally every one of my Matches are pretty comfortable talking about their age.
 
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ScottK is online now ScottK Post #8  July 31,2010, 8:38am
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NYCpigeon wrote :
She told you before you met in person. She cleared it up. So what's the problem? And it's only 4 years, so it's vanity. Who doesn'r have some of that?

If you don't like her age, then stop communicating with her. But, don't lie to yourself that a self-confessed white lie is really bothering you this much.
But why? Why lie about her age?
She isn't 50, trying to find a young "stud"...

At her age, it is just strange to lie about her age like that.

Weird.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  July 31,2010, 8:48am
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i used to be someone who would close someone out over lying about age, weight or height on a profile.

I've changed my mind. if I like them, it gets a pass. i don't think it's indicative of future dishonesty.

people will fudge things on profiles because online daters are more picky than they'd be in real life, and great people might get passed over for the sake of a few inches of height or a couple years than noone would notice anyway.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #10  July 31,2010, 9:04am
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ScottK wrote :
But why? Why lie about her age?
She isn't 50, trying to find a young "stud"...

At her age, it is just strange to lie about her age like that.

Weird.
it's actually not that odd.

women over 30 often get passed over by men of their same age- so by lying a little you get more communication in your dating pool.
 
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