PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #21  July 31,2010, 10:42am

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NYCpigeon wrote :
Because people are obsessed with youth. We live in a youth-crazed society. Turning 30 means you're old.

To me, lying by a few years is a vanity lie. It means nothing more than that. It's not pathological. It's not criminal. And to me, it's more a reflection on our society than anything else.

I've had matches that lied by 10-15 years. That, I will not accept.
Bet ya if the guy did this...even by a couple years..many women posters here would be all over him...calling him liar and stuff.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #22  July 31,2010, 10:55am
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PY_2 wrote :
A few inches? Some wouldn't even let the guy get away with rounding up by 5/8 inch!
those girls are stupid. stay away from them.

Logan lied by at least 1 inch on his height, maybe 2, and we all know how i feel about him.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #23  July 31,2010, 10:56am
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NYCpigeon wrote :
Because people are obsessed with youth. We live in a youth-crazed society. Turning 30 means you're old.

To me, lying by a few years is a vanity lie. It means nothing more than that. It's not pathological. It's not criminal. And to me, it's more a reflection on our society than anything else.

I've had matches that lied by 10-15 years. That, I will not accept.
to be clear, I wouldn't lie because I'm vain or youth obsessed. I'll lie because everyone else is.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #24  July 31,2010, 10:58am
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She is a liar, IMO. It's up to him if he wants to proceed however.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #25  July 31,2010, 10:59am
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PY_2 wrote :
Bet ya if the guy did this...even by a couple years..many women posters here would be all over him...calling him liar and stuff.
nope. some would. most won't.

quite frankly, age is less detrimental to a man than a woman.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #26  July 31,2010, 11:16am
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If someone lies about their age, I'm forced to wonder what else they are lying about. Is their job really what they say it is? Is the picture in their profile really of them? What about other listed aspects of their personality?

If someone feels the need to lie about something like that in order to find someone, then they should not be in a relationship. It means they lack confidence in him/herself. If someone doesn't fully accept and love him/herself, how can they love someone else? Accept and embrace your age/job/body, etc. It's a lot sexier. Plus, for the right person, you won't need to lie about you age/job/body.

NYCpigeon wrote :
Because people are obsessed with youth. We live in a youth-crazed society. Turning 30 means you're old.
I'm 29 now. Will turn 30 in February. I refuse to accept 30 as old, no matter what society says. This isn't 1723 anymore.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #27  July 31,2010, 11:20am
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yes. I lack confidence. that's why.

i wonder if someone passively breaking up with someone instead of telling them outright ( lying by omission) is ready for a relationship.
Last edited by scarlet13; July 31,2010 at 11:37am. Reason: I'm totally honest about my dishonesty, at least.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #28  July 31,2010, 11:38am
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here's a point.

If i am going to lie about my age, I'll do it so well none will ever find out, so he wont ever wonder what else i'm lying about.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #29  July 31,2010, 12:07pm

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kipty_29 wrote :
we have been exchanging emails for about a week or so, we both seem like a good fit.... but in one of the emails i discovered that she is really 34, not 30 like her profile said...
so, this makes her 5 years older than i am... i know for the "most" part age should not matter.... but why lie? why hide that from someone? why start something with a lie?...

should i confront her about this? should i ask her why? or just end it?
Hi kipty_29 and Everyone,

Personally, I think that age only matters if you lie about it, and I'm sorry to hear that your match chose not to be truthful about hers.

While it is interesting to hear how members come down on this issue of lying and what it portends about the success of a relationship, I'm sure most members are aware that, providing false information when registering to our site, is a violation of our Terms and Conditions of Service.

But I want to remind members that another Condition is that you agree to "promptly report to eHarmony any violation of the Agreement by others...".

So, kipty_29, please report your concerns about this match to matchconcerns@eHarmony.com. Rest assured that your report will remain anonymous & an Account Specialist will be sure to follow up with you.

All the best.

-Renee
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #30  July 31,2010, 12:31pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
here's a point.

If i am going to lie about my age, I'll do it so well none will ever find out, so he wont ever wonder what else i'm lying about.
But really, scarlett..how do you propose to do that in the real world?
What are you gonna do if he ever sees your ID when you pull it out at the bank?
what are you gonna do if he says "hey, babe, lets laugh at each others driver's license photos..I'll go first.."
how long are you gonna tip toe around those subjects?
Sooner or later he's going to find out. Its just not do-able.
and when he does...are you prepared to explain why you did lie at such a ridiculous thing?
Last edited by TheThinker; July 31,2010 at 12:33pm.
 
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