Closed 100% by matches with kids


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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #1  July 30,2010, 9:17pm
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I noticed interesting trend. As I have my settings down to 0, I am getting all kinds of matches, single with kids or without kids, no pref. on the race, drinking smoking etc., restrictions are only distance - (grade2) and age (grade5).
Every time time I get a match with kids - I am getting closed shortly after sending 1st questions. I believe this is done by the active matchess. The passive matches just will sit there forever, until I close them or EH erases their profile from the database. So my question is: Why am I getting these matches as probably somewhere in their questionnaire they said - they would not prefer single man with no kids? There is no info in the profiles stating whether they prefer man with kids or without kids. It seems EH goes One Way only - If I want matches and have very small restrictions, they would almost match me to the entire EH population, considering only my preferences for age and distance( based on grade 2 I also get a lot Flex matches too), regardless what the other match prefers, to have partner with kids or without kids. Otherwise I have no logical explanation of the 100% closing by matches who have kids and I did not state anywhere in my profile that I would not accept partner who has kids.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  July 30,2010, 9:55pm
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Maybe you don't state that you wouldn't be OK with a match who has kids, but it is entirely possible that you wrote something in your profile that is throwing a red flag to those matches that do have kids.
 
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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #3  July 30,2010, 10:07pm
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I dont think so, unless you consider the following a red flag:
The most important thing S is looking for in a person is: "Somewhere out there is a great girl who will not only want to introduce me to new things, but will also like to try some adventures that are new to both of us. She will not only put up with my wacky moods, but she may even think they are cute, (even if she won't admit it.) The woman I would like to meet is confident and self assured, but isn't too much feminist. I am looking for a woman, who can keep me on my toes both when it comes to intellect and energy. I want to share both our passions, some of mine, some of yours, some new ones we find so we can do together our journey through life".
Wants Kids- Yes Kids at home- No
 
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chemgal is offline chemgal Post #4  July 30,2010, 10:24pm
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passat1 wrote :
The woman I would like to meet is confident and self assured, but isn't too much feminist.
It doesn't relate to having kids/not having kids, but this statement would make me seriously consider closing you. Unless you're looking for a very traditional stay-at-home-wife kind of woman, I'd reconsider it. "Too much feminist" is very open to interpretation - and while you may intend it to mean "not a rabid feminist who makes anti-men speeches every ten minutes", that's not how it comes across.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  July 30,2010, 10:45pm
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passat, it could be something else as well. Do you have dogs? Pit Bulls and other "guard" type dogs scare me off. (I'm a single mom, btw) Maybe you list your "toys" (boats, jet skis, muscle cars) as some of the things you can't live without?

I'm not saying that it definitely is something about YOU. But, sometimes, when a certain group is completely turned off, there IS a reason.
 
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bluskies4ever is offline bluskies4ever Post #6  July 30,2010, 11:35pm
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The "wacky moods" statement would be a concern to me if I had kids. Could be interpreted as unstable, mercurial, mood swings....
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  July 31,2010, 12:26am
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You could post your whole profile for review, Passat, see what comes from that.

Or if you don't want to do that ... do you mention kids anywhere in your profile? If not, perhaps add something like "looking forward to being a dad/step-dad one day".
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #8  July 31,2010, 7:17am
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passat1 wrote :
I dont think so, unless you consider the following a red flag:
The most important thing S is looking for in a person is: "Somewhere out there is a great girl who will not only want to introduce me to new things, but will also like to try some adventures that are new to both of us. She will not only put up with my wacky moods, but she may even think they are cute, (even if she won't admit it.) The woman I would like to meet is confident and self assured, but isn't too much feminist. I am looking for a woman, who can keep me on my toes both when it comes to intellect and energy. I want to share both our passions, some of mine, some of yours, some new ones we find so we can do together our journey through life".
Wants Kids- Yes Kids at home- No
I would close you.

Wacky moods? I'm not going there.
Confident and self-assured? Do you need to say this?
Not too much feminist? Contoversial language.
Keep me on my toes? You need me to motivate you?

This is a list of "I want, I want, I want".

No, it's not the kids.
 
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heisenberg is offline heisenberg Post #9  July 31,2010, 7:40am
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NYCpigeon wrote :
I would close you.

Wacky moods? I'm not going there.
Confident and self-assured? Do you need to say this?
Not too much feminist? Contoversial language.
Keep me on my toes? You need me to motivate you?

This is a list of "I want, I want, I want".

No, it's not the kids.
I agree.

Passat1's statement on what he is looking for in a woman is not one that most single mom's would find very enticing, and this is coming from a guy...
Last edited by heisenberg; July 31,2010 at 7:46am.
 
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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #10  July 31,2010, 8:16am
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I will post the profile, and see if that could be a reason, but as I was getting responses from some members, it probably isn't the profile. However I will go from A to Z to research the trouble.

The one thing S is most passionate about:

I am passionate about love. I believe in love and the life giving energy that comes from it. But it's not just my love for my lover. It's the love of my work, my health, love for nature and for friendship. I don't see unknown people as strangers; I see them as people to learn something new from! I have a passion for people that have healthy, loving relationships and can make successful apologies (if needed). My subscription recently expired. I am only here for the free communication weekend, when it is over I won't be able to communicate with paying members until the next free weekend. If you're looking around, find me on Skype.

The most important thing S is looking for in a person is:

Somewhere out there is a great girl who will not only want to introduce me to new things, but will also like to try some adventures that are new to both of us. She will not only put up with my wacky moods, but she may even think they are cute, (even if she won't admit it.) The woman I would like to meet is confident and self assured, but isn't too much feminist. I am looking for a woman, who can keep me on my toes both when it comes to intellect and energy. I want to share both our passions, some of mine, some of yours, some new ones we find so we can do together our journey through life.

* About Me

Basic Information
Occupation: professional / management
Age: 37
Height: 5' 6"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Christian
Drinks: A few times a year
Smokes: Never

In my own words
The most influential person in S life has been:

My friend Wesley a fighter jet pilot, who had crashed with his jet spent a month in a hospital with multiple injuries, found himself a courage and strength to return to combat flying !

The three things which S is most thankful for:

* life
* love
* freedom

Three of S best life-skills are:

* Finding and taking on challenging activities
* Making new friends
* Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things

The one thing S wishes MORE people would notice about him is:

That I am a unique person that doesn't fit many if any stereotypes.

The things S can't live without are:

* the computers
* telephone
* Energy- Red Bull
* good friends
* soccer- FC Barcelona is my favorite team

The first thing people notice about S is:

People generally notice that even though I've been living in New England for over 10 years, I still have my accent (similar to Aleksandr Petrovsky's in Sex in the City). I'm not a famous person, but often people from my town, who don't know my name, instantly recognize me because of my job."

Some additional information S wanted you to know is:

Feel free to contact me to share our interests,and If looking for a real, long-term relationship and all the thrills that go with that – holidays, romance, and fun of course, I think you are on the right place, and it is the right time for you to click on Start Communicating button! I also speak Spanish and Russian languages, so if you like to communicate in either one, is fine with me.

My interests
S typically spends his leisure time:

I like spending my leisure time by doing things that I enjoy. Playing and watching soccer are one of my greatest pleasures, it gives me feeling of relaxation, appreciating all of the players who are giving all efforts from themselves and playing as a team to win the game. I also love just taking off in the car, train or plane and going exploring. That leads me to all sorts of adventures. I guess my life is kind of like the series of Indiana Jones: always on a new quest, pushing my imagination to the limits, and occasionally walking into things.

The last book S read and enjoyed:

I like reading many books, but the last one I read was Seventeen Instants of Spring by Yulian Semyonov. This book is story about the life of Soviet spy operating in Nazi Germany and is about people, who were cut off their home, country, families in order to fighting with nazi criminals. Not so much about the supernatural qualities of a spy, but of the hard moral decisions that one has to make through the life in pursuit of accepting oneself for who one is and being happy with the life they are given.
According to my friends:

S friends describe him as:

* Dependable
* Ambitious
* Caring
* Hard Working
 
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