Ladies, I need some advice on how to properly word what I'm truly looking for

I want somebody who is a good communicator. By that I mean somebody who, apart from the occasional emotional stress we all experience, is self aware of her emotional state and can still communicate thoughtfully about difficult subjects in a level headed, logical way instead of throwing a fit and storming off and refusing to talk about it. Somebody who can express opposing ideas and criticism without getting personal. Somebody who is mature and has an honest desire to be an equal team player. Somebody who is actually intellectually curious and strives to ask questions and be independent when need be. Someone who wants to understand how I think before making harsh judgments about my motives.

I think you should just say this as is. That being said, you will likely find that most people are not self aware enough to know that they are bad communicators and/or immature. You will likely have to trust your own powers of observation upon meeting to confirm these traits.

I do think a statement like this will scare off potential matches, but perhaps scaring off matches who don't want to be held to a standard like this is a good thing.

If you are going to put this in your profile, I would be sure to make other parts of it lighter and showcase your sense of humor (assuming you have one). Showing both a serious and fun side in a profile was always something that caught my interest.

Hi Everybody,

I haven't been having much luck with eH lately and I'm thinking of re-doing my profile. It's been a while since I've written it and some things in my life have changed since then that have given me clarity on just what it is that I'm looking for in a match. The trouble is, I'm not too sure how to word it without it coming off the wrong way. I'm hoping I can be as brutally honest as I can here and get some advice on how to phrase it so that it comes across as positive and not off putting. Also, since I'm looking for shared attributes, I'm not sure whether I should state "I'm looking for somebody who is..." or simply state "I am..." and state I'm looking for the same. A subtle point, but one I wonder on what most women prefer. I also am not sure what should be mentioned in a profile and what should be shelved to find out during the first few dates. So anyway, in a nutshell, here is what I'm trying to put into (better) words:

I want somebody who is a good communicator. By that I mean somebody who, apart from the occasional emotional stress we all experience, is self aware of her emotional state and can still communicate thoughtfully about difficult subjects in a level headed, logical way instead of throwing a fit and storming off and refusing to talk about it. Somebody who can express opposing ideas and criticism without getting personal. Somebody who is mature and has an honest desire to be an equal team player. Somebody who is actually intellectually curious and strives to ask questions and be independent when need be. Someone who wants to understand how I think before making harsh judgments about my motives. I know how wrong this can sound if not worded right but it's fair since I am more than willing to hold myself to the same ideals. As far as what I'm looking for in a quality relationship, this is extremely important to me.

The rest of the wish list, such as mutual interests, I can spell out on my own. This one, though, has me stumped. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

What you want in a nutshell is a leader, someone with good self-esteem. Not sure how you would put that in a profile but it does cut that second paragraph down to size.

Good luck.

Well, I'm not necessarily looking for a leader, just somebody who can voice her opinion and operate more as an equal. In charge of some things but not everything. The main point being somebody who is more logical than emotional when it comes do dealing with serious issues and is capable of having level headed and thoughtful conversations instead of "debates" that are more about attitude and winning more than anything else.