New Profile Review for you guys to tear apart...help me out


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Brittanynola is offline Brittanynola Post #1  July 19,2010, 10:47am
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Is hoping rather than wishing

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New Orleans, La

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I would like to be proactive and get some feedback on my profile sooner than later. Any comments/ suggestions would be helpful.

Thanks, and that is the current picture posted on my profile.


The one thing brittany is most passionate about:

 Generosity, and not just in the sense of giving money to the poor. Although that is a nice gesture, I am more passionate about giving myself to others. Understanding someone else's background and situation before I make a critical judgment is so important to me. I consider it generosity, I guess, because to me it is giving enough of your emotion and your thought to empathize with another person that makes you truly generous.




The most important thing brittany is looking for in a person is: I would like someone who enjoys other cultures and recognizes that there is more to life than one's own meager surroundings.




Basic Information

Occupation: Health Care field Age: 25 Height: 5' 5" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: African-American Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: A few times a year

In my own words

The most influential person in brittany's life has been:

With respect to the amount of time spent with other people, my grandmother has had the most influence in shaping my mind and academic strength despite leaving this earth when I was a mere eleven years old. She also gave me the generosity and self-esteem that most females my age lack.


The three things which brittany is most thankful for:

  • Being able to finally finish my education knowing that I did it without much help or coercion
  • My family
  • My friends

Three of brittany's best life-skills are:

  • Creating romance in a relationship
  • Helping those who are less fortunate or in need
  • Being a good friend and companion


The one thing brittany wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

That I am not just a ball full of useless information. I like other things unrelated to my education or politics. I love to have fun but for some reason come across as a stick-in-the-mud. lol


The things brittany can't live without are:

  • My dog..he's adorably annoying..
  • Mirliton
  • The Sims 3
  • My girlfriends..all of them
  • My family..not in this particular order


The first thing people notice about brittany is:

My ability to find the good in EVERYONE...which can be a horrible attribute at times.


Some additional information brittany wanted you to know is:

I am most comfortable with someone who has dated outside their race once before. There is a fine line between genuine interest and pestering when it comes to asking questions regarding differences in cultural background. Not a deal breaker but it would be nice.


My interests

brittany typically spends her leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with my friends; dinner and happy hour.. and I love to go to the movies with a blanket . I love to feed the ducks or swans.. but those geese are pretty darn mean. I really just enjoy quality time with people I love. I'm very easy going.

The last book brittany read and enjoyed:

Beach Road, by James Patterson. Its a mystery novel like all his novels. Honestly I need to read more of his older Alex Cross and pre- Alex Cross works. I don't feel like a true fan lol.


According to my friends:

brittany's friends describe her as:

  • Genuine
  • Good Listener
  • Respectful
  • Intelligent
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  July 19,2010, 11:57am

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Brittanynola wrote :
I would like to be proactive and get some feedback on my profile sooner than later. Any comments/ suggestions would be helpful.

Thanks, and that is the current picture posted on my profile.


The one thing brittany is most passionate about:

Generosity, and not just in the sense of giving money to the poor. Although that is a nice gesture, I am more passionate about giving myself to others. Understanding someone else's background and situation before I make a critical judgment is so important to me. I consider it generosity, I guess, because to me it is giving enough of your emotion and your thought to empathize with another person that makes you truly generous.

I really think this is a strong section -- your definition of generosity is unique and says a lot about your character.


The most important thing brittany is looking for in a person is: I would like someone who enjoys other cultures and recognizes that there is more to life than one's own meager surroundings.

I think this is strong, too, and reflects your values well. The one word that I wasn't sure about was "meager" -- because some people's backgrounds are meager, others have lavish backgrounds, and they, too, could benefit from opening up.


Basic Information

Occupation: Health Care field Age: 25 Height: 5' 5" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: African-American Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: A few times a year

In my own words

The most influential person in brittany's life has been:

With respect to the amount of time spent with other people, my grandmother has had the most influence in shaping my mind and academic strength despite leaving this earth when I was a mere eleven years old. She also gave me the generosity and self-esteem that most females my age lack.

I think this is strong enough so that you could leave it as is, but you also might make it slightly richer by adding a *how* with the last sentence -- perhaps that she instilled generosity and self-esteem in you by something she demonstrated or by a specific way in which she treated/interacted with you.
The three things which brittany is most thankful for:

· Being able to finally finish my education knowing that I did it without much help or coercion
· My family
· My friends
I think the first one is the strongest. The family and friends one will blend with the other profiles your matches receive. It's a tough question, because you're bound to list something that's universally valued, but you may want to set these two answers apart by what you're particularly grateful about with your family and friends.

Three of brittany's best life-skills are:

· Creating romance in a relationship
· Helping those who are less fortunate or in need
· Being a good friend and companion

The one thing brittany wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

That I am not just a ball full of useless information. I like other things unrelated to my education or politics. I love to have fun but for some reason come across as a stick-in-the-mud. lol

Some of the verbiage here sounds a little negative to me -- I think you can get the same idea across in a more appealing way -- for example: "I care tremendously about serious matters like education and politics, but I have a fun side..." (and then you may even want to describe what you like to do for fun, or even better how fun you can be). You may want to leave out phrases like "ball of useless information" or "stick-in-the-mud" because those words will stick with your matches even though you're saying you're not those things.

The last book brittany read and enjoyed:

Beach Road, by James Patterson. Its a mystery novel like all his novels. Honestly I need to read more of his older Alex Cross and pre- Alex Cross works. I don't feel like a true fan lol.

This is good -- but I'm not sure what you like about this book or author (and maybe say a little something for those matches who may not be familiar).

According to my friends:

brittany's friends describe her as:

· Genuine
· Good Listener
· Respectful
· Intelligent
Hi Brittanynola,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice!

This is a really well written, personable profile, and your photo would be an ideal primary photo in my opinion -- especially if you complement it with a good variety of other photos that show you involved in activities with full-body shots, etc. I enjoyed reading your profile and I only have a few comments on it. They’re posted in the quoted area in purple.

Hope to see more of you on the boards,

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  July 19,2010, 12:23pm
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Brittanynola wrote :


The one thing brittany is most passionate about:

 Generosity, and not just in the sense of giving money to the poor. Although that is a nice gesture, I am more passionate about giving myself to others. Understanding someone else's background and situation before I make a critical judgment is so important to me. I consider it generosity, I guess, because to me it is giving enough of your emotion and your thought to empathize with another person that makes you truly generous.
Giving yourself to others in what way...could you elaborate..otherwise I may think you are a call girl

Second part is confusing....how do you apply this in real life?


Brittanynola wrote :


The most important thing brittany is looking for in a person is: I would like someone who enjoys other cultures and recognizes that there is more to life than one's own meager surroundings.

In my own words

The most influential person in brittany's life has been:

With respect to the amount of time spent with other people, my grandmother has had the most influence in shaping my mind and academic strength despite leaving this earth when I was a mere eleven years old. She also gave me the generosity and self-esteem that most females my age lack.

These two along with the intro gives me the impression you are better than others. Because you are helping me when I am down I need to kiss your feet.

Brittanynola wrote :
The one thing brittany wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

That I am not just a ball full of useless information. I like other things unrelated to my education or politics. I love to have fun but for some reason come across as a stick-in-the-mud. lol

Another saying but about what...what is this useless infomation other than what is in your profile.

You actually come across as the stick being someplace else...I think its where the sun doesnt seem to shine.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #4  July 19,2010, 4:36pm
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I am turned off by this profile. The "passion" answer strikes me as a bit creepy. And you know, maybe I enjoy my "meager surroundings". And there isn't much to comment on after that, it looks like you lost interest.
 
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Brittanynola is offline Brittanynola Post #5  July 21,2010, 10:57am
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Wow ...creepy and a stick up my bum? Totally not the way I would like to come across. However in my defense I will say this. I like who I am and I want to find someone who will also appreciate me for who I am. I do agree that the word meager and the stick in the mud phrase need to come out. I will do some tweeking but calling me a creep is kinda ridiculous. Any other less offensive suggestions would be really helpful.

Thanks
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  July 21,2010, 12:28pm
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Hi Brittanynola,

I really like your profile. It's unusual, it's interesting, it creates a vivid picture of you that I bet is pretty accurate.

I agree with Kate's review, except her take on the "ball of useless information". That made me laugh out loud and I liked it a lot. I thought it was a good injection of humor into your profile.

I like the photo too ... although your face appears to be up against something, can't tell what it is, so it's somewhat confusing.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  July 21,2010, 1:05pm

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[quote=Sassafras54;1049160]
I agree with Kate's review, except her take on the "ball of useless information". That made me laugh out loud and I liked it a lot. I thought it was a good injection of humor into your profile.
quote]

Good point, Sassafras54 -- it is funny! It's clear enough that it's silly and not self-debasing. In retrospect, I think you're right that rather than being self-critical, it's just being light and not taking herself too seriously. Not a bad thing.

~Kate
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mary_mary is offline mary_mary Post #8  July 21,2010, 1:39pm

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I like you.

I think the "meagre surroundings" is just a clumsy choice of words. By meagre, you mean "narrow". Something like "the small part of the world each of us inhabits" could make it more inclusive and clearer.

One thing does bug me. Don't refer to women as "females"; say "women". I don't know about you, but being called a "female" just gets my back up. (You're right, most young women do lack self-esteem -- or, I have always thought, lack a clear self-image -- but yes, saying they lack the generosity you have, even though you defined what you mean earlier, does sound a bit snooty.)

I wasn't sure about this:

"I like other things unrelated to my education or politics"

You hadn't said anything about your politics; did you want to, maybe connecting it in some way to the value you place on generosity?
Last edited by mary_mary; July 21,2010 at 1:41pm.
 
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Brittanynola is offline Brittanynola Post #9  July 21,2010, 3:34pm
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Thank you guys so much! As soon as I finish with these blueberry muffins I will fix that right up. I can't wait to see if it makes a difference.

mary_mary thanks. I'm am glad you see ME. I appreciate your thoughts.

sassafras54 I'm against another person. I will try to post another picture but in most of them I have long hair; which is not the case anymore. I want to be as truthful about my appearance as possible. I'll search for another one or take a new one. Are you from New Orleans btw (sassafras)?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #10  July 21,2010, 5:47pm
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Brittanynola wrote :
calling me a creep is kinda ridiculous. Any other less offensive suggestions would be really helpful.
No, no, no. No one said you were a creep. I said that the "passion" answer struck me as a bit creepy. It really does. If you've read any of the profile review threads, you will see that I really stress that the answer to this question has to be something real, tangible, and interesting. It should be that one thing that all your friends would say about you.

I equate your "I am more passionate about giving myself to others." with other vague non-specific answers like "I am passionate about living life to the fullest." Doesn't really tell me anything about you.

Now if philanthropy really is your major passion, then you'll have to back it up with an example or two. But keep in mind that this will probably draw guys looking to take advantage of you.

I will also caution you that the positive reviews you've received are all from women. I'm not saying I'm right and they're wrong, but please take that into consideration.
 
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