How long to chat online before meeting, or, is he not interested?


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GermanTeacher is offline GermanTeacher Post #1  July 16,2010, 4:23pm
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Hello all. I've been chatting on AIM with an eH match for a little over a month now. We have a lot in common and talk almost every day-however, he hasn't asked for my number/asked me out/anything like that. I invited him to come out to my farm and see something I have that he expressed an interest in and he made some vague remark about coming someday, but never pinned it down.

I'm not really sure what to do here. It's not like I have a million other people that I'm talking to or that I'm in any rush, but it just seems kind of strange to me. I've dated about a half dozen guys from online over the last few years, and all have initiated in person contact within a week or 2 of chatting. I don't know how long he plans on chatting? If there's someone else or...? He does have a rather large event that's been taking place in his life since we met, but that seems to be over now. So what's the problem? I don't want to be the one to say hey, let's go get coffee...I'm old fashioned in that I think the guy should do that. Any advice for me? Thanks in advance!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  July 16,2010, 4:32pm
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I suggest meeting in my first or second open communication e-mail.

I prefer to set the meeting for the first available Friday or Saturday.

I am fine with waiting for the second weekend if the woman wants to. More than that, without a good reason (of schedule conflict, for instance), and I may continue to answer her e-mails, but I will not have interest until a real meeting.

I consider one month to be much too long.

In my opinion, you should just suggest the meeting.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #3  July 16,2010, 4:42pm
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I am afraid you may have already fallen into 'penpal' mode. If there are no extenuating circumstances, such as extreme distance, job or family schedules or illness, this is way too long to just chat. He may have you as his 'fallback plan' while pursing others; if you don't take a deep breath and initiate this may never go anywhere. Be bold!
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #4  July 16,2010, 4:48pm
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A month is far too long, you should aim to meet within a week, or two at the most from the start of communications.

Maybe you are his plan B, C or D!!!

Just move on to the other guys who do want to meet and stop contacting mr pontificate!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  July 16,2010, 4:54pm
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GermanTeacher wrote :
Hello all. I've been chatting on AIM with an eH match for a little over a month now. We have a lot in common and talk almost every day
AIM-chatting is not "talking". Are you really talking or not?

If he hasn't said he's interested in meeting - then he's not interested in meeting. Move on.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #6  July 16,2010, 5:02pm
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GermanTeacher wrote :
Hello all. I've been chatting on AIM with an eH match for a little over a month now. We have a lot in common and talk almost every day-however, he hasn't asked for my number/asked me out/anything like that. I invited him to come out to my farm and see something I have that he expressed an interest in and he made some vague remark about coming someday, but never pinned it down.

I'm not really sure what to do here. It's not like I have a million other people that I'm talking to or that I'm in any rush, but it just seems kind of strange to me. I've dated about a half dozen guys from online over the last few years, and all have initiated in person contact within a week or 2 of chatting. I don't know how long he plans on chatting? If there's someone else or...? He does have a rather large event that's been taking place in his life since we met, but that seems to be over now. So what's the problem? I don't want to be the one to say hey, let's go get coffee...I'm old fashioned in that I think the guy should do that. Any advice for me? Thanks in advance!

I am assuming you two are in the same area.....

Talking for a month is reasonable if you are long distance apart.

If you two are local...I would ay you should target to meet within 2-3 weeks depending on prior plans and commitments from the start of Open Communication.

This is something you should bring up. If he hasnt met anyone this way before he may not be sure how it works. He could also be talking to others now and wants to be sure which one to meet first before asking.

another thing you could suggest is talking on the phone.
 
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