need conversation points/questions to ask in open mail


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sadiaz is offline sadiaz Post #1  June 12,2010, 7:24am
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so i've been talking to this girl and we've been exchanging messages in open mail for over a week, with like 2 or 3 messages a day, and we've talked about a lot of clearly obvious stuff like: family, job, hobbies etc... i don't want to seem boring and ask questions like "what's your favorite flavor of ice cream" just so we have something to talk about... what are other topics that we can talk about
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #2  June 12,2010, 7:39am
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sadiaz wrote :
so i've been talking to this girl and we've been exchanging messages in open mail for over a week, with like 2 or 3 messages a day, and we've talked about a lot of clearly obvious stuff like: family, job, hobbies etc... i don't want to seem boring and ask questions like "what's your favorite flavor of ice cream" just so we have something to talk about... what are other topics that we can talk about
Learning how to talk to girls is really something you need to learn how to do yourself. For the most part just bring up things you might have (or do have in common) and just tell them about yourself.

People can try to give you some advice but this falls at the very central core of dating and everyone has their own way of doing it (some impress them with their knowledge.....some impress them with their personality and ability to communicate....some flirt and tease a bit......some get them addicted to their sexual abilities).

It is something you need to develop on your own and form your own techniques. It often takes time and you will generally have to go on many dates before you become that good at it but it is much better just to learn on the go and act on instinct then to try to remember what some people on a message board had to say.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  June 12,2010, 7:54am
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How about talking about meeting?
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #4  June 12,2010, 7:57am
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livenlearn wrote :
How about talking about meeting?
In his situation that might be the best idea. It probably will not be a real good date but it will give him the most experience on learning how to talk to people.
 
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sadiaz is offline sadiaz Post #5  June 12,2010, 8:47am
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isn't that kind of being too eager too eary??... first message/ice breaker was sent the 7th, which is only 5 days ago (i thought it was much longer ago, sorry)... but in that short time we have sent 49 messages, which is like an average of 5 messages a day for each of us... i don't want to see like i'm pushing her into meeting too early, even though we have been talking a lot

i wouldn't mind meeting early, however i am a man, and women need to be more careful about online dating, you really can't trust complete strangers no matter how long you've been talking to them online
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #6  June 12,2010, 8:56am
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sadiaz wrote :
isn't that kind of being too eager too eary??... first message/ice breaker was sent the 7th, which is only 5 days ago (i thought it was much longer ago, sorry)... but in that short time we have sent 49 messages, which is like an average of 5 messages a day for each of us... i don't want to see like i'm pushing her into meeting too early, even though we have been talking a lot

i wouldn't mind meeting early, however i am a man, and women need to be more careful about online dating, you really can't trust complete strangers no matter how long you've been talking to them online
49 messages!!!!! Sorry but I think the most important thing for you to do right now is just to gain experience and to figure out what your own knack is.

If she is talking to you that much as well I would bet that she doesn't have much of a clue about what she is doing either. Meeting before really communicating much goes against what I think is good (but those are situations where the people involved know what they are doing). When you don't know what you are doing meeting early on and gaining that needed experience is probably the best route to take.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  June 12,2010, 9:59am
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Holy smokes! 49 messages! Meet in person already!

Also, if you look on the right hand side of her profile there should be a list of things she has in common with you and if you click on them it will bring up an OC message box with a suggestion.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #8  June 12,2010, 10:04am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Holy smokes! 49 messages! Meet in person already!

Also, if you look on the right hand side of her profile there should be a list of things she has in common with you and if you click on them it will bring up an OC message box with a suggestion.
Not just 49 messages. It was 49 messages in 5 days.

Holy jeepers.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  June 12,2010, 10:22am
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Sadiaz, make your next email a suggestion to meet.

When you are meeting in person it is easier to find things to talk about, because you are having a shared experience. You can talk about the things/people/events that are surrounding you. On email it's harder to find ways to connect.

Meet! Good luck with it.
 
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yeahitsme is offline yeahitsme Post #10  June 12,2010, 3:00pm
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I agree, the whole 10 messages a day thing is a little overboard, but that's how some people choose to communicate, so... ok.

Obviously in those first 49 (by now probably close to 60) messages you learned SOMETHING about her... she was going to visit her brother this weekend, or she was nervous about a presentation at work. How about asking her how those things went? It shows your pay attention, and you care about her life.
 
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