The "romantic evening after a year" question


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bothhands is offline bothhands Post #1  June 9,2010, 10:17am
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I've been asked this open question for the first time...

How would you spend a romantic evening with someone you have been dating for more than one year?

I am hesitant to answer because I'm not sure how specific to get. Is he expecting creativity? Of keeping things interesting? Or is it more ...the intimate sexual side.

How would you answer? I don't know whether to give a brief scenario of going out to do something special..getting a hotel room for the evening..or staying in for that matter...or be more specific? Of course, it's also knowing your partner and what he likes. I don't want to give too much to someone I barely know.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  June 9,2010, 10:31am
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It's hard to answer that as a hypothetical ... as you said, you'd want to do something that you and your partner would like. Perhaps that's your answer?
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #3  June 9,2010, 10:42am
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bothhands wrote :
I've been asked this open question for the first time...

How would you spend a romantic evening with someone you have been dating for more than one year?

I am hesitant to answer because I'm not sure how specific to get. Is he expecting creativity? Of keeping things interesting? Or is it more ...the intimate sexual side.

How would you answer? I don't know whether to give a brief scenario of going out to do something special..getting a hotel room for the evening..or staying in for that matter...or be more specific? Of course, it's also knowing your partner and what he likes. I don't want to give too much to someone I barely know.
Isn't that the point of a one year relationship? lol

Seriously, that's always one of my questions. The answers I get are always about something special romantically with sometimes a hint of intimacy.
Last edited by pussinboots; June 9,2010 at 10:44am.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  June 9,2010, 2:26pm
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I encourage you not to second-guess what your match "might" like or want to see in your answer.

I would either give a detailed example of something specific which you enjoyed in the past, something you've wanted, or a composite of ideas you'd generally enjoy.

I never ask this question (though it is a good one to ask women, since the question specifically asks "plan.")

I get asked this a lot (more than half of women ask it.)
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  June 9,2010, 3:01pm

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Hi Bothhands,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice!

I would agree with D_Lion in this case. I know it is really easy to wonder what your match may want to hear or what he may be trying to learn about you by asking this question, but the most riveting and appealing answers will always be the ones that come straight from what you want. Let your imagination soar with this question. What would you dream if you were in a romantic relationship?

The “worst” thing that could happen is that he could close the match because he doesn’t like your answer (and that is unlikely, if he really is trying to get to know you). The best thing is that if you do develop a relationship with him, he knows what you like.

Good luck, and have fun!

~Kate
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melman is offline melman Post #6  June 9,2010, 5:04pm
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bothhands wrote :
I am hesitant to answer
Of course you are. It puts you in an odd frame of mind, doesn't it? Who says I need to think about being a year into a committed relationship (with the asker, or with anyone else)?

This question is on my list of questions that should not be asked. And if you are asked, should not be answered seriously. I would try to answer this question in a humorous way (trying to joke about something in the person's profile, perhaps) or I might simply close the match if I was not very interested.

Here is an old thread with more comments about asking and answering what I call the "bad" questions.
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...questions.html (Answers to Wrong Questions)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  June 9,2010, 5:11pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
I would agree with D_Lion in this case.

Ahem!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  June 9,2010, 6:11pm

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Oh, is that not what you wanted me to say, D_Lion? Well, as we discussed regarding the Open-Ended Questions, one shouuld write what they really think… LOL

~Kate
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