Continuing communication with a non-subscribing match after a FCW


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ctblues78 is offline ctblues78 Post #1  June 9,2010, 9:14am
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Hi, I recently subscribed to eH two weeks ago, so I am definitely an eH newbie. I was matched with someone on 6/04/10 (Friday). She initiated contact through GC that day. Once we got through the stages of GC, we exchanged about 11 or so great emails over the weekend. Her last email was received around noon Monday, 6/07/10. I know it's only been a couple days since responding back to her last email, but I am beginning to think she may be a non-subscribing match who signed up for the FCW this past weekend. Unfortunately, I didn't think to ask if she was a subscribing member. I had a great time communicating with her over the weekend and would like to continue our conversation. If she is a non-subscriber, how may I continue communication with her through eH, or at least ask if she would like to communicate outside of eH?
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #2  June 9,2010, 9:45am
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If you didn't exchange eH contact information (e-mail addresses or telephone numbers), probably the only thing you can do is wait for the next FCW. Did you exchange full names and other "identifiers" that would allow you each to find the other beyond the confines of eH?

(And I would hope that you're not so much interested in "continuing the conversation" as you are actually meeting her, unless you're looking for a penpal?)

Good luck! (My guy was a non-paying match, too.)
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  June 9,2010, 10:42am
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I wasn't aware there was an FCW this past weekend. Are you sure of that?

If there was, then yes, if you didn't exchange personal contact info, you will have to wait until the next FCW. They seem to happen every 1-2 months. Or, she might subscribe before that.

Since you are a newbie, (welcome to EHA by the way!) I will tell you: lots of people engage in emailing intensely for a few days or a week, whatever, then one day they just stop. That's it. Weird, eh? So that could be the case here.

I think you just have to wait! Meanwhile ... start paying attention to your other matches. And in future, consider asking to meet in person sooner rather than later! Good luck!
 
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krohnan is offline krohnan Post #4  June 9,2010, 10:52am
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This past weekend wasn't a FCW though, that was the previous weekend over Memorial Day which would indicate that yes, she is a subscribing member or at least was at the time communication began. Since no information for outside communication was exchanged you will just have to be patient. However 2 things go along with that. First try not to over-analyze why communication dropped. There are a myriad of reasons including communication with other matches that currently rank higher in her mind to life intervening to just plain ol' poofing. Stressing over what is could be won't do you much good for your own sanity, composure and confidence. The other part is that if she didn't give you an email address or some other way to contact her, DO NOT go looking for it such as on facebook or google etc. Absolutely no good will come from cyber-stalking.

In the meantime, again be patient, there's always a chance she may respond sooner or by the next FCW if she is a non-payer. You haven't been here a long time and more matches will come your way, some that will respond to communication, some that will and the disappear, some that will close or ignore you off the bat and many more that are dead profiles never to do anything but give you an undeserved headache.
 
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ctblues78 is offline ctblues78 Post #5  June 9,2010, 10:57am
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Thanks for the info Iconography. Definitely not looking for a penpal. I feel that our email conversation this weekend was just at the point where were ready to start talking about meeting in person. Unfortunately, we did not exchange emails, phone numbers, full names, or identifiers.

Sorry, I have a couple more questions for anyone out there:
1) How often does eH host FCWs?

2) If I sent her an eH email with my contact info, as a non-subscriber would she at least be able to read the eH email? Basically, what can non-subscribers see or have access to (when not a FCW)?

Thanks in advance to everyone.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  June 9,2010, 11:16am
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ctblues78 wrote :
Thanks for the info Iconography. Definitely not looking for a penpal. I feel that our email conversation this weekend was just at the point where were ready to start talking about meeting in person. Unfortunately, we did not exchange emails, phone numbers, full names, or identifiers.

Sorry, I have a couple more questions for anyone out there:
1) How often does eH host FCWs?

2) If I sent her an eH email with my contact info, as a non-subscriber would she at least be able to read the eH email? Basically, what can non-subscribers see or have access to (when not a FCW)?

Thanks in advance to everyone.
FCWs seem to be about every 1-2 months. They often occur around holiday weekends. It's not a published schedule. Usually, you will see ads for an upcoming FCW, and people post about it here.

I'm not currently a subscriber, but I think if you sent the last EH email, you have to wait for her to answer; you can't send another yet. ?? Not sure about that though...
 
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ctblues78 is offline ctblues78 Post #7  June 9,2010, 11:28am
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Hey thanks guys. I appreciate all of your advice.

Alright, so this past weekend was not a FCW? Yeah, I've been seeing all the eH TV commercials promoting the FCW, they were still them playing on TV here in Hawaii last week, so I wasn't sure. In any case, I understand the importance of being patient.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  June 9,2010, 11:30am
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Oh well you may have had a local one in Hawaii. FCWs seem sometimes to be for all members but more often they're "US" or "California" or "Canada" or something.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #9  June 9,2010, 12:41pm
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ctblues78 wrote :
2) If I sent her an eH email with my contact info, as a non-subscriber would she at least be able to read the eH email? Basically, what can non-subscribers see or have access to (when not a FCW)?
To the best of my knowledge:

Non-subscribers can see your profile but not your photo (even during FCWs).They can only tell that you have attempted to contact them but they can't receive the message unless they become paying subscribers or a FCW comes along. I don't know if messages sent before a FCW become available to non-subscibers during a FCW.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  June 9,2010, 2:18pm
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It is possible this person can see but not send messages, so sending an e-mail with your personal e-mail might work.

Also, many (most) people are users of more than one site, so checking for them on a searchable site is a good idea.

Note: no matter what has happened, the probability of any one match going anywhere is tiny. So, the odds are that you are wasting any effort you expend.

There is a good chance the next free weekend would be around July 4.
 
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