Guys 5"5' or less, how much at a disadvantage are we?


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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #1  June 8,2010, 4:19pm
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I've had some communications with matches, but I'm getting a recurring input that while my matches who communicate back appreciate how honest and easy going I am; they find it difficult to get past the fact that I'm 5"5'.

Granted I've only been a paying member for a little over a week and haven't been matched to a large pool of people, I still feel that being short is a huge turn off to women. At college, I met all kinds of people and never once did it occur to me that height matters significantly to women. I've only been finding this out since I joined EH.

Physcially I'm lean. Athletically, I excel at running and I played soccer for 8 years prior to college. I don't believe I look ugly. My profile is very well filled out and I've read the forums and seen how people critique profiles. I'm quite sure my profile probably isn't a significant problem. I get some quick closes and from my perspective it has to be the height issue. Funny thing is even though I'm only 5"5', I'm still taller than the majority of my matches. Maybe part of the problem might be that ethnically I'm asian too, but then again I've lived here all my life and am essentially American to the core. Actually, I'll take that back; I'm Texan to the core.

Height is one characteristic that short guys can't improve on. After I got those inputs from my matches, I felt troubled about online dating. I've never been told before in real life that my height made me incompatible with someone, probably because people actually knew me because of my personality. With online dating, the only thing they're going to know about me is my physcial characteristics and words describing my personality (but they're just words). I have the patience to see how EH goes, but it's that comment about height that really bothered me the most and darkened my view of online dating.

Any thoughts yall?
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #2  June 8,2010, 4:28pm
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If I got a match that came off in their profile like you come off in your post, (Funny, athletic, Texan...) I wouldn't find the height a problem. But again, I like wearing flats, and I'm shorter than you.

Right now I'm starting to date a guy that is 10 inches taller than I am. Heels don't make a dent in that. That is actually a minus for me, but thus far, he makes up for it in personality.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  June 8,2010, 4:28pm

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IcedKiwis wrote :
I've had some communications with matches, but I'm getting a recurring input that while my matches who communicate back appreciate how honest and easy going I am; they find it difficult to get past the fact that I'm 5"5'.

Granted I've only been a paying member for a little over a week and haven't been matched to a large pool of people, I still feel that being short is a huge turn off to women. At college, I met all kinds of people and never once did it occur to me that height matters significantly to women. I've only been finding this out since I joined EH.


Any thoughts yall?
Pull up a chair and stay longer my friend....you will learn LOTS of new things on this board that you've never known before!

I know you said you're 'texan to the core'....were you born in the US? Are you open to finding matches overseas or are your parents here?
 
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AnnaM is offline AnnaM Post #4  June 8,2010, 4:33pm
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I'm a woman and I have to admit that my match preferences include men that are a few inches taller than me and up. I can only speak for myself, but I have a picture in my head of what my match should look like and he should be taller than me by a few inches at least.

After reading your post, though, I feel I could be weeding out potentially good matches based solely on their height. I certainly wouldn't do that in "real life" so I am not sure why I do that here.

With that said, I can tell you that had I started communicating with someone their height would never be the sole reason I stopped that communication. I'm sorry that happened to you. I am glad you opened my eyes on the subject and I hope you give it a little while longer.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #5  June 8,2010, 4:38pm
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Women generally want to date men who are bigger than they are and men generally want to date women who are smaller than they are.

Yes it is probably an issue for some of them and there is nothing you can do about it. My advice would be to concentrate on the girls who are 5'1-5'3.

You would probably have better success at getting the 5'8 or 5'9 girls to give you a chance if you were introducing yourself to them in person rather than online. Online they don't have a whole lot to go on and if they do not want to date a guy who is smaller then they are it probably will be an issue for them. They might be able to overcome it if they could see you in person but since they can't it is easy for them to concentrate elsewhere.
 
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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #6  June 8,2010, 4:44pm
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Perhaps I am just a bit naive, and it's been difficult to transition from the college atmosphere to the "on my own and working" environment. I recently graduated a year ago. Perhaps most of my matches are also young and not entirely sure what they want. Maybe they're setting their standards very high.

I was actually born in Singapore and my family moved to the US and settled in Texas when i was 2. So "to the core" isn't actually completely accurate but that's the way I feel. How about this: I'm an "honoray Texan." The transition for my family moving here wasn't too hard for us at all because we all spoke English and Singapore has a huge western influence.

@ PY_2:
I've never considered expanding matches overseas, and the particular things about my job make going out of the country a big no no. I've set my matches to the whole US. I figured I'd get quite a few diverse matches that way!

I appreciate the quick responses. I'm looking forward to seeing what people really have to say about the height question.
Last edited by IcedKiwis; June 8,2010 at 4:53pm.
 
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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #7  June 8,2010, 4:49pm
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sony12 wrote :
Women generally want to date men who are bigger than they are and men generally want to date women who are smaller than they are.

Yes it is probably an issue for some of them and there is nothing you can do about it. My advice would be to concentrate on the girls who are 5'1-5'3.

You would probably have better success at getting the 5'8 or 5'9 girls to give you a chance if you were introducing yourself to them in person rather than online. Online they don't have a whole lot to go on and if they do not want to date a guy who is smaller then they are it probably will be an issue for them. They might be able to overcome it if they could see you in person but since they can't it is easy for them to concentrate elsewhere.
That definitely seems true. I have been thinking setting my height preference settings to very important to get ppl who are closer to my height. But at the same time, I don't want to miss out on someone who might be willing to accept me even if she is a few inches taller.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #8  June 8,2010, 4:55pm
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IcedKiwis wrote :
That definitely seems true. I have been thinking setting my height preference settings to very important to get ppl who are closer to my height. But at the same time, I don't want to miss out on someone who might be willing to accept me even if she is a few inches taller.
I know that when I see a girl who is 6'0 or taller I tend to not give them
as much of a shot as I probably should. I also have found that girls tend to be a little dishonest about their height. When I meet them in person at times they will end up being a couple inches taller then they claimed to be through the site.
 
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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #9  June 8,2010, 5:03pm
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I also get the feeling that there's misconception that guys will lie about their height to give them a few inches. I could almost feel in one message that the match thought that my height was what i said it to be minus 2 inches. Anybody else ever get that vibe?
 
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Kukuxumusu is offline Kukuxumusu Post #10  June 8,2010, 5:05pm
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Well...I must admit height is important to me. I'm taller than you, so I would find it a turn off. Please don't hate me!
 
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