Mixed age photos are leaving me mixed feelings. Meetup soon


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Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #1  June 7,2010, 4:14am
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So, I've been talking to this girl. She seems amazing. She's high on some Jesus which I like, and we seem to click in a lot of ways. Our conversations flow smoothly, our tendancies are similar with a flair of difference to keep it interesting.

She lives about an hour and a half away, which is not a big deal, but I say that to explain why we've been talking for a couple weeks and havn't met up by now. Otherwise I would have already met her. W e're meeting up later this week.

She had several nice photos in her profile and it definately drew me in. I found out that most of those are 18m old or so. She sent me some recent ones recently and I'm less impressed by them. My feelings of interest are a bit less after seeing these. However, her personality is very intriguing.

On one hand I think, how can I move forward feeling that way, but on the other hand, I ask myself, am I being too superficial?

We talk here about our expectations, and the balance between finding the right person for you vs being too picky and waiting for Ms perfect while letting great girls go.

So, I am just here asking for thoughts and opinions. When do you know you're being too picky? I'm feeling disappointed at this point, but I plan to meet up and see if the photos are just subpar.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  June 7,2010, 4:34am
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You are placing too many expectations on pixels on the screen. You can only truly judge attraction in real life - face to face. Until then, nothing is real and it seems like you are building up too much of a fantasy about her. Go meet her and have fun and go with an open mind.

When it comes to the online thing, always remember that no person alive can ever live up to the fantasy that your mind builds up.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #3  June 7,2010, 5:15am
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Go. Meet her. Don't let your over analysis get in the way of real life.....

You have a choice - you look for reasons to meet people or you look for reasons not to.

By the way, you sound like you are browsing the "people catalogue" by your comments - how about just going out to meet another human being, and seeing if you get along enough to actually bother seeing each other again?

Baby steps.......

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Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #4  June 7,2010, 6:04am
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I think you are right. I do do that. I think its part of my INTJ personality. I want to mentally work through the whole thing and I can't rest until I do. It goes the same when I'm working on a project or building something. So, with this, I mentally work through what she'll be like and I do get disappointed.

I've also noticed a lot, that couples seem to favor each other a lot. I mean, if you broke people into eye shape types, and face shape types, and a lot of times, body types, they look similar together.

I wonder if I'm always attracted to someone who isn't my type? I'm drawn to the slim faced girls, and I'm a round faced guy. lol
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  June 7,2010, 6:08am
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As I believe I have written in other threads, you seem to have a real issue with over-thinking. Paralysis by analysis. Etc.


I guess I question whether you are really interested in meeting women... or just thinking about meeting women.

There is simply no way that 18 months difference in a picture, should be able to change your impression of the person. You know that within a millisecond of laying eyes on her, all this worry about pictures will be gone, right?

Get out there and meet your matches!
 
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Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #6  June 7,2010, 7:07am
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melman, I know you have, and I know I do.
I am trying to break that habit but it is difficult.

I started this thread to discuss a thought I keep having that might be forcing me to continue with the analyzing and trying to get others feelings on it.

Where is the line at which we "wait for what we want" vs are we being too picky.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  June 7,2010, 8:13am
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Rhizzlebop wrote :
melman, I know you have, and I know I do.
I am trying to break that habit but it is difficult.

I started this thread to discuss a thought I keep having that might be forcing me to continue with the analyzing and trying to get others feelings on it.

Where is the line at which we "wait for what we want" vs are we being too picky.
Good grief....it's a meeting NOT a life time commitment! I think you need to put that in perspective. You will never know who is right unless you see them in the flesh and spend some time with them. There is no such thing as internet dating. The only service that the internet does is introduce you to people who are outside of your personal social circle and provides with an opportunity to meet them and get to know them. It's not a catalog from which you can order a perfect appliance 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  June 7,2010, 8:20am
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You're trying to figure out whether you're attracted enough to someone you haven't met. There's no way to figure that out. Without meeting.

I think you should call her today and set up a meeting. Set the meeting for asap. Once you meet her, then you'll have some actual data to work with.

If you have a tendency to overthink and get lost in conjecture and fantasy, LDRs are going to be a big challenge for you!

It's a good thing to put some thought into these issues. But if it's going to keep you from meeting someone you clearly have some potential with ... then your analyzing nature is getting in your way!
 
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Rhizzlebop is offline Rhizzlebop Post #9  June 7,2010, 1:05pm
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The meeting is already on for the end of the week. Its true I put expectations on her before meeting and I shouldn't.

My point here was to discuss where is the line between being too picky, and waiting for the right thing.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #10  June 7,2010, 2:31pm
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How old is this woman? I'm assuming that she's close to your age in which case I can't imagine what it is that's making her look "old".

What are you going to do when you're 40? Have a heart attack as soon as your SO gets a wrinkle?

And what's with the woman in the photo?

Personally I will go against what everyone else has said and tell you not to meet her. She doesn't deserve to get picked apart 50,000 times before the first meet.

Yes, I definitely think you are being too picky.
 
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