AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  June 6,2010, 10:17am
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After I've started communicating with a match I prefer they close me if they are not/no long interested. It gives me one less match to wonder about and one less profile to open and look over when I'm cleaning up my account. I also will close a match I lost interest in.

So, how do you all feel about being closed? Prefer it over being left open?

And how do you deal with matches you lose interest in or have no interest in once the 1st questions are sent? Close them or leave them in limbo?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  June 6,2010, 11:11am
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I'd prefer to be closed as soon as the match knows they have no interest. De-complicate my life! Let me focus on matches where there's a possibility! It won't hurt my feelings! It will make me respect you!

Close.
 
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dazedconfuzed is offline dazedconfuzed Post #3  June 6,2010, 11:22am
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I'd rather they close than keep me wondering. I have a match doing that to me right now. He contacted me. We got all the way to open communication. He disappeared, I nudged. He sent me a "SO SORRY" message and said he'd get back to me as soon as he could, he had finals (he's a professor.) But he's had time to revamp his profile and pictures. I had to beat back an adolescent moment to tell him off about being a jerk. lol

Why do guys/women do this? Why keep it open if they are no longer interested, why keep viewing my profile for that matter and not respond??
 
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SaveBoggins is offline SaveBoggins Post #4  June 6,2010, 11:28am
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I was going to ask a similar question. I don't like to close if I have send first questions and had no response as it may be a user who is having a break. Similarly, unless the match is a definate no then I will archive - I don't put 100% belief in a profile so may have been misguided on the person. If the person I archive contacts me then great, I want to find out more.

The ones I don't understand is where we get to stage 3 or OC in the space of a day or so, then nothing. If no interest, why not close me? I can't close because I have them marked as potentials, but it is odd that people just stop rather than close.

I assume it is to do with Close Match being in tiny writing at the bottom of the screen, and the majority just don't see the option.
 
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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #5  June 6,2010, 11:57am
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It's better to be closed than in limbo.
Should be a basic rule a new member agrees to before the matching is on.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #6  June 6,2010, 2:29pm
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dazedconfuzed wrote :
Why do guys/women do this? Why keep it open if they are no longer interested, why keep viewing my profile for that matter and not respond??
One word....
Backup.

They found someone them deemed better, but want to keep your connection around, just in case that Match doesn't pan out.

I actually don't have a problem with this, especially during the first couple OC emails.
However, it does just plain suck when it happens, because we don't know they are doing it.
Back in the day, EH used to have a "Hold" option for situations like this...
The idea of the option was good, but implementation was horrible.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #7  June 6,2010, 3:28pm

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cal_dude wrote :
It's better to be closed than in limbo.
Should be a basic rule a new member agrees to before the matching is on.
eH should just work it the way chemistry.com does. Make the user decide on people before they can receive more matches. I don't think immediate communication should be necessary for everyone, but hundreds of matches piling up with a woman just leaving most of them completely unacknowledged is asinine.
 
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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #8  June 6,2010, 5:17pm
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hankscorpio wrote :
eH should just work it the way chemistry.com does. Make the user decide on people before they can receive more matches. I don't think immediate communication should be necessary for everyone, but hundreds of matches piling up with a woman just leaving most of them completely unacknowledged is asinine.
A very good point. Maybe you can add this to the "Product feedback thread".
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  June 7,2010, 3:58am
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Personally, I dislike the chemistry approach and would hate it if EH followed them on that.

Someone leaving me open....who cares. I have no investment in a person until I meet them in real life. Until then, the only people I give a thought to are the ones who responded that day.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #10  June 7,2010, 5:33am
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ScottK wrote :
One word....
Backup.

They found someone them deemed better, but want to keep your connection around, just in case that Match doesn't pan out.

I actually don't have a problem with this, especially during the first couple OC emails.
However, it does just plain suck when it happens, because we don't know they are doing it.
Back in the day, EH used to have a "Hold" option for situations like this...
The idea of the option was good, but implementation was horrible.
DancingFool wrote :
Personally, I dislike the chemistry approach and would hate it if EH followed them on that.

Someone leaving me open....who cares. I have no investment in a person until I meet them in real life. Until then, the only people I give a thought to are the ones who responded that day.
Both ends of the spectrum here - and funnily enough I actually think they are both saying something similar - basically, handle it how you want, and don't sweat what other people do, until you actually meet them......

Doesn't bother me one way or the other, really. I have a couple hundred or so open matches sitting there and they all appear to be dead people so actually getting closed out by someone else reaffirms my faith in the fact that there actually are live people on there lol....

JMHO

Lilycat
 
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