delux269 is offline delux269 Post #1  June 5,2010, 7:19pm
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-Male
-23 years old
-Occuptation: Database Analyst
-Height: 5'8"


Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
All of my family. They have helped me make difficult choices in my life and help me out. Whenever I need advice or help with anything they are always there for me.

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
A girl that loves me for who I am and accepts me for who I am. I am a genuinely great guy who will make a fantastic boyfriend for any girl.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
I am very kind, and a gentleman. I will always put myself second to my girlfriend and I am always willing to compromise to make both of us happy.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That women would look beyond the physical and get to know me as a person. Many times I am overlooked for not looking like Josh Harnett, but I believe taht my personality inside is as good as it gets.

What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Sports
Steak
Technology
Xbox
Job

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"The Secret". It was very interesting and eye opening. A great read

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Give me a chance and I can guarantee that you will be happy you did

What are you most passionate about?
Living life to the fullest. I want to live every day to the fullest. I want to make life better for everyone around me every day.

What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
My education
My Family
My friends

How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Playing sports, hanging out with friends, watching TV
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  June 5,2010, 7:28pm
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I will let the women give their impressions first (although boy, do I have plenty of things to say).

I'll suggest that you look through some other profile reviews, and see what insight you can pick up from those.
 
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delux269 is offline delux269 Post #3  June 5,2010, 7:36pm
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A lot to say as in my profile is not very good?
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #4  June 5,2010, 7:46pm
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I had a few technical difficulties over here so I will have to copy and paste my comments.
[COLOR=black]
Last edited by tenderheart105; June 5,2010 at 7:49pm.
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #5  June 5,2010, 7:47pm
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[COLOR=black]What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD
Last edited by tenderheart105; June 5,2010 at 7:51pm.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  June 5,2010, 7:56pm
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delux269 wrote :
Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
All of my family. They have helped me make difficult choices in my life and help me out. Whenever I need advice or help with anything they are always there for me.
This seems OK. Not great. You really should narrow it down to one or maybe two people. In essence, what you say here avoids answering the question.

delux269 wrote :
What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
A girl that loves me for who I am and accepts me for who I am. I am a genuinely great guy who will make a fantastic boyfriend for any girl.
Blech! Seriously! Especially the last line. This is about what you are looking for in a potential partner, not that you think you'll make a fantastic boyfriend. Focus on the proverbial "her" and not you.

delux269 wrote :
Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
I am very kind, and a gentleman. I will always put myself second to my girlfriend and I am always willing to compromise to make both of us happy.
Another blech! I'm an emotionally driven girl, but you are really laying it on thick about being a "great boyfriend" again. The concept is there, but focus on you as a person, not as a boyfriend. Just some rewording I think.

delux269 wrote :
What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That women would look beyond the physical and get to know me as a person. Many times I am overlooked for not looking like Josh Harnett, but I believe taht my personality inside is as good as it gets.
Very negative. You just gave every woman who looks at your profile a reason to close you. You have no confidence in who you are, physically. Take away the negatives and never compare yourself to someone else. (Watch for typos as well)

delux269 wrote :
What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Sports
Steak
Technology
Xbox
Job
If you are looking for a long term mate, remove the Xbox. Just my opinion that it might insert images of a video game junkie in some womens minds.

delux269 wrote :
Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"The Secret". It was very interesting and eye opening. A great read
You missed some punctuation and really didn't answer the question. A great read and "eye opening" does not really say much.

delux269 wrote :
Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Give me a chance and I can guarantee that you will be happy you did
Can you say desperation? Another negative. You just gave another reason for those that hadn't closed you already to scroll as fast as they can to the close button at the bottom of the page.

delux269 wrote :
What are you most passionate about?
Living life to the fullest. I want to live every day to the fullest. I want to make life better for everyone around me every day.
Cop out answer. Pick something you love to do. Running, fishing, playing tennis, making tree houses. Something.

delux269 wrote :
What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
My education
My Family
My friends
These are OK.

delux269 wrote :
How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Playing sports, hanging out with friends, watching TV
What sports? What do you do hanging out with your friends? Are you a TV junkie or have one or two shows you prefer.


Sorry to say, I got very little from your profile other than you lack confidence. You didn't really say much about yourself. You need to "flower it up" a bit. But not overly so.
 
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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #7  June 5,2010, 8:02pm
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I hope you're prepared to take the live ammo coming at your profile.

The biggest thing I saw was that your answers were quite vague. All people have their unique quirks. Your matches will want to see what makes you, you.

"Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Give me a chance and I can guarantee that you will be happy you did "

ummm no. This is the perfect area to elaborate about yourself. Until this point, all your answers have been to generalized questions that everyone usually provides similar answers to.

You said you can't live without an xbox. That means you're probably a gamer. But you also said that you like playing sports, most of which are outdoor activities. Gaming and being an outdoors person don't quite match up since the steotypical view of a gamer is "that guy who sits at the computer screen with the 50 empty coke cans on his desk." Now don't take this the wrong way cuz it is a stereotype. I love playing certain sports (soccer, ultimate frisbee, flag football, paintball), BUT at the same time, I also love pc gaming. I get to retreat and recollect at home and still have fun.

You might want to talk about how you balance those two aspects about yourself. Mention what sports you play. If you are too vague in your profile, your matches won't know what to make of you. And that may make them wary about communicating.

Make a statement and be confident about yourself.

"What are you most passionate about?
Living life to the fullest. I want to live every day to the fullest. I want to make life better for everyone around me every day."

That's a good answer, but I think the intent of the question is to find out what you really want out of a relationship. What traits about your matches would you find most endearing? Your matches will want to know if the relationship you desire is similar to their interests.

Those are my thoughts. I hope it helps. Remember show off what makes you unique so that you'll stand out. True it may turn off some matches (but better now when you're not connected, than later). But it'll also attract the matches that find your unique qualities interesting.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  June 5,2010, 8:05pm
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delux269 wrote :
A lot to say as in my profile is not very good?
OK, tenderheart and Andie have pretty much said what I wanted to. This is a really weak profile. Again, take a look at some other profile review threads. I think you'll find a lot of helpful ideas.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #9  June 5,2010, 8:05pm
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delux269 wrote :
-Male
-23 years old
-Occuptation: Database Analyst
-Height: 5'8"


Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
All of my family. They have helped me make difficult choices in my life and help me out. Whenever I need advice or help with anything they are always there for me.

Your most influential person, cannot be your family, they are not a person ... sorry pet peeve of mine. Pick one and give an example of how they helped you (i.e. My father for helping me choose the college/university I attended when I was torn between two.)

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
A girl that loves me for who I am and accepts me for who I am. I am a genuinely great guy who will make a fantastic boyfriend for any girl.

You sound very needy here, definitely leave out the last sentence. It sounds like you are looking for someone who is accepting, but I'm not sure how to phase that myself.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
I am very kind, and a gentleman. I will always put myself second to my girlfriend and I am always willing to compromise to make both of us happy.

Again leave out the last sentence and again you've listed 2 things in the first sentence.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
That women would look beyond the physical and get to know me as a person. Many times I am overlooked for not looking like Josh Harnett, but I believe taht my personality inside is as good as it gets.

You want them to notice you don't look like Josh Harnett?? There is also a typo in this sentence.

What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Sports (which ones?)
Steak (describe the perfect steak - an 8 oz filet cooked medium rare)
Technology - too generic, no one else can either
Xbox
Job - again too generic

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"The Secret". It was very interesting and eye opening. A great read

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Give me a chance and I can guarantee that you will be happy you did

Umm, not good. Give us a hint of other things about you - I recently adopted a mutt from the pound, I speak a foreign language, etc.

What are you most passionate about?
Living life to the fullest. I want to live every day to the fullest. I want to make life better for everyone around me every day.

Ugh ... what does that even mean???

What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
My education
My Family
My friends

How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Playing sports, hanging out with friends, watching TV
Expand on these a little, playing what sport, hanging out doing what - drinking, playing board games, etc, what do you like to watch?

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I have to say that your profile sounds a little desperate. My comments are in blue above.
 
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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #10  June 5,2010, 8:07pm
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Also, the two others that posted before me gave you really good advice too.
 
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