Goin straight to eharmony mail or doing the questions in the steps?


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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #1  June 4,2010, 4:45pm
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Hi all. I just joined as a member this week and wanted to get some advice about using the comunication steps.

Even though this is my first try at an online dating site, it didn't feel quite right to me to initiate communication through the listed questions in guided communication. I started off using the guided communication for the first few matches and then I tried using the eharmony mail for other matches.

Overall, I couldn't find many interesting questions for the step 1 in guided communication. So there's been 6 or 7 questions that i'll use for step 1, and it got very routine sending many matches the same bunch of questions. Not sure if anybody shares the same thoughts as me, but I didn't like sending all my matches the same set of questions. The questions don't reveal much either about myself. I would rather have each communication with a different match have its own uniqueness.

So I tried the eharmony mail as a first step with other matches. And I actually got replies. None so far via the guided communication; not even pass step 1. I haven't been online long enough to make any conclusions, but I wanted to hear anyone's opinions about this topic.

Is it better to stick with the guided communication or eharmony mail. Or perhaps mix it up? If you especially like a match, maybe eharmony mail would be a better to get you noticed? But then you do skip the building up steps and will have to make up for it in follow up emails assuming the match accepts email continuation.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  June 4,2010, 8:14pm
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I doubt it matters much.

If you are appealing to the match, they will like you no matter which option you choose.

Just do what you feel like.
 
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geoffrie is offline geoffrie Post #3  June 4,2010, 8:36pm
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I've only been on eHarmony for about a month, and I agree that the guided communication process is a bit slow and boring. Many of the questions are very dull and, indeed, it feels a bit automated sending the same questions to every match.

I haven't tried skipping right to e-mail, but it could work. I guess for me I figure that most of the girls on eHarmony tend to be somewhat shy and may be more receptive to taking things slowly with guided communication, whereas they may find you impatient if you're trying to rush into e-mail. Just my 2 cents.
 
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RedApple is offline RedApple Post #4  June 4,2010, 8:43pm
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I have tried the fast track, but with no luck. I got more responses when starting with GC. Another benefit is that it does not take any effort. Since the response rate is very low in any case, I don't want to bother composing a customized email to every match only to be ignored. If I get a response to GC, then at least it means there's somebody alive at the other end and has some interest, and from that point it's not such a waste of time anymore.

If eH would indicate who is a subscriber and active, then the situation might be different.
Last edited by RedApple; June 4,2010 at 8:46pm.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  June 4,2010, 9:07pm
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I prefer GC. It is one of the reasons I re-upped my membership. If I wanted to e-mail matches and receive e-mails (usually with no questions) then I would just be on Match.com or POF or some other supermarket type site.

There used to be an indicator on profiles which state what type of communication process your match preferred. Would be nice to have it back.
 
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IcedKiwis is offline IcedKiwis Post #6  June 6,2010, 8:56am
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thanks for the input yall.
I think I will use GC from here on out. It seems to be the norm of communication on EH. Also, it is quick and while I'm interested in what online dating has to offer, I don't think I want to spend too long on the internet as it does eat up some of the time I use for fun.

I do wish there was an option to see if your match was a paying or non paying member. I'd still send a communication either way, but at least I'd know that there's a less likely chance to get a response from a non paying member.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  June 6,2010, 9:14am
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I prefer GC. You do learn things about people from it, especially the 2nd-questions, and it weeds out people who aren't interested enough to bother doing it.

The one plus of not knowing who's paid is that when you get no response from someone, you can think "oh they're probably unpaid!" rather then "oh they don't like me!" Haha. Good luck!

BTW Unpaid people can communicate during Free Communication Weekends (FCWs). So if someone doesn't respond, you could just leave them open until the next FCW (they occur every 1-2 months it seems). Unpaid people must use GC during FCWs; they don't have the choice not to.
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #8  June 6,2010, 2:34pm
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I had at least one match send out the questions, I answered and sent out questions, and then went for the email. (I believe it was his way of seeing if I was a paying member or not.) I gave him extra points for not having to fill out the essay questions.
 
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eGrlCutey is offline eGrlCutey Post #9  September 5,2010, 2:29pm
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I don't like when a guy skips the guided communication, makes me feel like he's not interested to get to know me and must be mass mailing all the girls to instantly get a number to score a date with whoever bites his hook. I close those matches right away even if I liked their profile.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #10  September 5,2010, 2:54pm
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I have found the guys who skip right to emailing are generally over agressive types, rebels. To me it unchivalrous.
 
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