mojo13 is offline mojo13 Post #1  June 1,2010, 3:51pm
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I'd love a little help. Thanks!

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
I've been greatly influenced by two close friends who are kind, compassionate and logical. They've taught me to appreciate the little things.

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Honesty. I know, I know. Everyone says that and it should be redundant. But it's true. If someone is honest then you can trust them. And if you can trust them then you can love them.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
My sparkling personality.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
I have a great sense of humor.

What are five things that you "can't live without?"
1. Mystery novels
2. Coffee
3. Hair clip
4. Lip balm
5. Sunshine

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"Dead Man's Song" by Jonathan Mayberry. It's the second book in a trilogy about a small town with a supernatural secret and what happens when that secret wakes up. It's a page-turner with interesting characters. It never slows down.

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
I'm sarcastic, funny, smart. I'm a bad speller and a worse typist. I love football and hockey. I'll watch just about any horror movie (but don't always watch until the end). I'm trying to better myself, physically and mentally. I'm impatient sometimes, but who isn't? I like to cook and wander through greenhouses. I'm easy to please. I expect my better half to be kind, decent, honest and funny.
 
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WeatherGirl is offline WeatherGirl Post #2  June 1,2010, 10:14pm
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I won't try to guess how a guy reads into a profile, but I'll give you my interpretation. It might sound a bit snarky at points, but maybe you can match it up to what you want the focus of each section to be. Additional comments in parentheses. I apologize ahead of time if you find any of this offensive, and reiterate that it's only what I read out of your profile and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the majority. Yes, this introductory paragraph does indicate that I'm interested in covering my own rear.

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
I have two friends who keep life simple.

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
I want someone I can trust fully.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
Not much. (I think here, it may help to choose a particular personality trait to focus on, something positive and immediately obvious in your behavior/speech.)

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
I have a great sense of humor. (Straightforward. )

What are five things that you "can't live without?"
1. Reading/quiet time
2. Coffee
3. ?
4. ?
5. Either being outdoors or being able to bask in the sunlight.

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"Dead Man's Song" by Jonathan Mayberry. I can quote you the back of the book/inside cover, but can't pinpoint precisely what I like about it. (Is there a character you relate to? Why is it a page-turner? I don't know this book, so it could be anything from action scenes to love and drama to long, academic conversations, and that doesn't really give any insight into you as a person.)

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
I'm worried/possibly insecure about the fact that I'm a bad speller and a worse typist, to the point that I mention it before my hobbies and miscellaneous interests. I'm willing to try things that might prove scary or uncomfortable, but I know my limits. I'm trying to better myself physically and mentally, but I haven't quite set myself on a method.
 
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slaw is offline slaw Post #3  June 2,2010, 9:35am
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First, this is boring. Start by writing your answers as though you are writing them to a specific man in your life that you want/wanted. It will make this profile 10x better. And be different! Standout. Be creative and unusual in your answers. Don't just write laundry lists of stuff. Think about what makes you attractive to men with every answer.

Couple of examples. Don't just tell me you have a sense of humour. Not one of your answers is funny, off-beat, crazy, wacky, etc. In 35 years I have met a million women who said they were funny and about 5 that actually were, so, unless you show me I don't buy it. What about "Well, I make a great first impression cause I am ridiculously awesome, so, maybe something like my superhuman strength and speed. Also, my modesty." Or "I am a bad spellor and a wosrer typsit." Make me laugh!

Also, whenever you find yourself writing stuff like "i know everyone else puts this" stop. Stop the madness. Why are you doing it then? Why be like everyone else? What about "I have great respect for a man who is not only honest to me but honest to himself, it is a rare and admirable trait not to be overlooked".
 
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chemgal is offline chemgal Post #4  June 2,2010, 9:59am
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Comments in red.

mojo13 wrote :
I'd love a little help. Thanks!

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
I've been greatly influenced by two close friends who are kind, compassionate and logical. They've taught me to appreciate the little things.

This looks very generic to me. Could you be more concrete? Maybe tell a (short!) anecdote. Since you list sense of humour later, this could be a good place to show it.

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Honesty. I know, I know. Everyone says that and it should be redundant. But it's true. If someone is honest then you can trust them. And if you can trust them then you can love them.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
My sparkling personality.

I assume this is supposed to have a smiley face after it? (It's the sort of thing I can't imagine anyone ever saying with a straight face. That's all.)

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
I have a great sense of humor.

Needs a follow-up that explains why that wouldn't be obvious right away. Otherwise, it makes it sound like you don't have a sense of humour since people don't notice it.

What are five things that you "can't live without?"
1. Mystery novels
2. Coffee
3. Hair clip
4. Lip balm
5. Sunshine

Unlike some of the other posters, I like this list. It's concrete. It's not the same old "family, friends, etc" list that shows up over and over and over again. Definitely don't genericize the Mystery Novels. Keep Sunshine too. I get a sense of your personality from it. But I'm female so I'll defer to a male reading.

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"Dead Man's Song" by Jonathan Mayberry. It's the second book in a trilogy about a small town with a supernatural secret and what happens when that secret wakes up. It's a page-turner with interesting characters. It never slows down.

Be more specific about why you like it. "Interesting characters" is nice but vague. You mentioned mystery novels earlier. Why do you like those specifically? What makes this a particularly good mystery novel? Or just cut out the last two sentences and leave it short and sweet.

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
I'm sarcastic, funny, smart. I'm a bad speller and a worse typist. I love football and hockey. I'll watch just about any horror movie (but don't always watch until the end). I'm trying to better myself, physically and mentally. I'm impatient sometimes, but who isn't? I like to cook and wander through greenhouses. I'm easy to please. I expect my better half to be kind, decent, honest and funny.

I appreciate that, if you're a bad speller, you took the time to spell-check this profile. I'd like to think men would appreciate that too. Lose the "better myself physically and mentally" sentence unless you can follow up with specifics. Lose the last sentence.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  June 2,2010, 11:21am
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Hi Mojo!

Did you post all the sections here? Seems like things are missing, but maybe not.

It's an interesting approach -- you seem to have breezed through most of the questions in a somewhat snarky way, but then actually put the meat of your profile in "additional info". I'm guessing you are demonstrating your sarcasm?

Which is what you're supposed to do, if you want matches to see your humor: show it, don't talk about it!

As a standalone profile I sort of like seeing a different way of handling it! I think some matches might respond well to it. But people who've been on EH for a little while have read 100's of profiles, so you're running the risk of losing a lot of them in the early parts of your profile, before they ever get to the additional info.

I think you should do this:
1) Post your "most passionate about" section here. That's the first thing matches see and is most important.
2) Try to take the questions a little more seriously, and answer them. Interweave snark into it.

Another option is just throw this profile out there and see what happens. If after awhile it's not going well, consider editing.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #6  June 2,2010, 12:24pm

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mojo13 wrote :
I'd love a little help. Thanks!

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
I've been greatly influenced by two close friends who are kind, compassionate and logical. They've taught me to appreciate the little things.

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Honesty. I know, I know. Everyone says that and it should be redundant. But it's true. If someone is honest then you can trust them. And if you can trust them then you can love them.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
My sparkling personality.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
I have a great sense of humor.

What are five things that you "can't live without?"
1. Mystery novels
2. Coffee
3. Hair clip
4. Lip balm
5. Sunshine

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
"Dead Man's Song" by Jonathan Mayberry. It's the second book in a trilogy about a small town with a supernatural secret and what happens when that secret wakes up. It's a page-turner with interesting characters. It never slows down.

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
I'm sarcastic, funny, smart. I'm a bad speller and a worse typist. I love football and hockey. I'll watch just about any horror movie (but don't always watch until the end). I'm trying to better myself, physically and mentally. I'm impatient sometimes, but who isn't? I like to cook and wander through greenhouses. I'm easy to please. I expect my better half to be kind, decent, honest and funny.
Don't worry about what your profile says. Get a few REALLY flattering photographs and you'll be fine.

If you can get a couple of them of you looking good in a bathing suit the communications will pour in.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  June 2,2010, 12:38pm

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Hi Mojo13,

Nice work! I think there are some things here that will set your profile apart. You might be able to enhance it to set it apart even further.

I would agree, first of all, with Sassafras54’s ideas. Well said. I’d also be interested in seeing the “What you’re most passionate about” section. That and the “quality that you’re looking for” are the 2 most visible sections, so it’s important to capture attention with these.

I like the section about your two close friends being the most influential. It gives a soft “streak” to your “sarcastic” mentions. You may want to add a little detail: “…to appreciate the little things, like…”

It’s good to acknowledge that honesty is the #1 common trait that people say is important, and I believe you can still set this section apart further by including an example or two of what this looks like in your definition.

The “sparkling personality” is pretty funny, and you might be able to get away with adding a specific example which is still funny, but also reveals something that you actually have to offer that would appeal to the right match.

Rather than saying your “sense of humor”, cracking a joke here might be more affective – you can really capture someone’s interest by making them laugh out loud as they read your profile.

I agree with Chemgal about the nice concrete list – it also conveys that you take care of yourself and your appearance – and that will be appealing to a lot of matches!

I love your description of the book and why you liked it. I think it adds a good layer of information about your personal style and interest. I think Chemgal has a point that you might be able to add some more description on the characters.

You might be better off including some of the information in the last section in the “What you’re most passionate about” and “What you do in your leisure time” sections. The bad speller, etc. information is funny. I also think that it’s the kind of thing that makes you “human” and “real”, more approachable in a relationship.

Good luck with everything, Mojo13!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  June 2,2010, 12:39pm

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hankscorpio wrote :
Don't worry about what your profile says. Get a few REALLY flattering photographs and you'll be fine.

If you can get a couple of them of you looking good in a bathing suit the communications will pour in.
That depends on what kind of communications you're looking for, I think.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #9  June 2,2010, 12:54pm

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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
That depends on what kind of communications you're looking for, I think.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Hey, I thought that eH matched people up on compatibility. So after that it's all about hooking the fish since they're supposed to already be worth meeting, right?

Besides, all my advice does is gives a woman more options to choose from.

Simply put, good pictures trump pretty much everything else.
 
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