how many closes before you quit


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rzande1 is offline rzande1 Post #1  May 31,2010, 6:30pm
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Hello everyone?

So I am curious how many closed do you wait for till you say forget this? I am up to 541. Just had a match reach open communication and it was instantly shutdown....strange. At first I was optimistic but at some point this becomes a huge waste of time right?
 
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libricide is offline libricide Post #2  May 31,2010, 6:38pm
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Here are my stats:

new matches - 684
communicating - 249
archived - 146
closed - 485

I've been on eharmony since September. Of those under "communicating", about 15 are at stage 4. The vast majority never responded to my first questions. I find requesting email is the best way to get a conversation going.
 
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rzande1 is offline rzande1 Post #3  May 31,2010, 6:48pm
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Mine are as follows. 541 Closed. LOL. I said forget this today and closed everyone out. Seems like a total waste of time to me already. I come on the account every day. Send out nearly 100 percent of matches. Get a response once in a blue moon and only for stage one. Over the weekend I got my first match to stage four and it was instantly closed out. I mean seriously what is the point of going through all of those back and forth stages if you have no intention of bothering. Either way I am seriously regretting I signed up for the year. Total waste.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #4  May 31,2010, 6:51pm
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rzande1 wrote :
Mine are as follows. 541 Closed. LOL. I said forget this today and closed everyone out. Seems like a total waste of time to me already. I come on the account every day. Send out nearly 100 percent of matches. Get a response once in a blue moon and only for stage one. Over the weekend I got my first match to stage four and it was instantly closed out. I mean seriously what is the point of going through all of those back and forth stages if you have no intention of bothering. Either way I am seriously regretting I signed up for the year. Total waste.
How much effort may I ask have you put forth? Do you have a complete profile? Do you show pics?
 
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rzande1 is offline rzande1 Post #5  May 31,2010, 6:57pm
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Yes. I have the completely filled out profile with photos. I didnt even give cheap 5 word answers but gave fully developed answers.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  May 31,2010, 7:04pm
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You have to put everything into perspective. Sony makes a good point about your profile. If it isn't complete or you don't have good pics up, you may very well be setting yourself up for failure.

The amount of time you've been on eH has to be figured in as well.

I've been closed numerous times as well as having closed people numerous times. If I worried about the numbers, I would be nuts by now.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #7  May 31,2010, 7:08pm
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rzande1 wrote :
Yes. I have the completely filled out profile with photos. I didnt even give cheap 5 word answers but gave fully developed answers.
You might want to post your profile to see what others think about it. At times even though you think it is filled out well others can look at it and spot some red flags.

In anycase this weekend was a bad time to make any judgments on the site because it was FCW where non-paying members can talk. And in many cases non paying members are not that serious about it and will quit responding as soon as they have to start putting effort into it.
 
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rzande1 is offline rzande1 Post #8  May 31,2010, 7:09pm
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Either way I will keep playing the game until the year is up. It it works then great. If not it just proves a point.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #9  May 31,2010, 7:56pm
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How long have you been on eHarmony? One month? Three months? A year? In other words, how long did it take you to rack up 541 matches?

I've been on here nearly 2 years. In that time, eHarmony has only managed to find me 196 matches. 12 of those were from this last FCW. Of those, two made it to OC before the end of the FCW. One other got to stage 3. The others did not respond. That seems to be about par for the course that 75% do not respond. In the almost 2 years I've been here, I've only met 3 or 4 guys, and I didn't even get up to the phone call stage (nevermind meeting!) in that entire first paid year.

Like you, I initially signed up for a full year. I was very disappointed. I let it lapse to a non-paying membership (be sure to turn off matching if you do that) and only get on here now on the FCWs. I actually get a better response during the FCWs than I ever did as a paying member.

eHarmony will encourage you to keep at it, telling you "it only takes one." Technically, that is true. However, it is very frustrating in the meantime until (and if) that "one" comes along.

My advice: don't put your eggs in one basket. Try other dating sites, too. And get out there as much as possible in the real world in situations where you'll meet new people. eHarmony is just one tool of many available to help you meet people. But you probably already knew that.
Last edited by Wonderwoman402; May 31,2010 at 8:12pm.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #10  May 31,2010, 8:14pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :

I've been on here nearly 2 years. In that time, eHarmony has only managed to find me 196 matches. 12 of those were from this last FCW. Of those, two made it to OC before the end of the FCW. One other got to stage 3. The others did not respond. That seems to be about par for the course that 75% do not respond. In the almost 2 years I've been here, I've only met 3 or 4 guys.
If you want to say that though you should probably also mention that you don't have your matching system set-up to cover a very wide area. If you were willing to travel then you would probably have more potential prospects than you do now.
 
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