S. Fl Man needs profile contents critique, please?


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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #1  May 29,2010, 3:42am

Cameron and me at Las Vegas 7/10 (in the WAX museum!)

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OK; following the advice to post the contents of my eh profile for anyone to analyze. Be kind, be positive, be constructive. thanks.

The most influential persons in my life; Clyde Butcher; photographer; great, living, local environmental photographer inspired my devotion to environmental photography. Jacques Cousteau, environmentalist, deceased. Inspired my devotion to Ecology. Henry Lohman, HS science teacher; inspired me to be a teacher. Ned Black, lifelong teacher, friend. Saw me through many good and not so good times. My first wife, Catherine (passed away '77 from Cancer) gave me 11 years of relationship joy and a lot of life lessons. My second wife, Susie gave me my only son and daughter, and was a good wife and friend for at least a decade as well.

The most important qualities in the person I'm looking for; She'll have internal and external beauty, peace, fitness, intelligence, and an attractive face and figure. She's very healthy, and focused on a healthy diet. She likes to workout often, almost daily. She's calm and compromising. A smile dominates her face. She knows how to wear make-up without overdoing it. She likes being outdoors. She's sexy but not provocative. She's pretty and fit but not obsessed with her looks nor mine. She has a meaningful, stable career (preferably a teacher!) she's passionate about her job but obsessed with it. She loves taking time off. She's not uncomfortable with a man who loves cooking!

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you? Energy level, devotion to education, positive outlook.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD? I love making things work, fixing things, tinkering, and gardening...and I might need alone time to just do my thing. I take great pride in my home, inside and out. I'm neat but not extreme about it. I'm eclectic about music; I enjoy everything from Jazz to Classical to New Age to R & R; I'm not an IPOD addict, tho; enjoy it while doing other things.

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you? I seek a petite, fit, attractive woman who's tuned in to fitness, health and smiling (keeping that positive outlook)! She may need to know that I wear rimless glasses, and I'm kind of short. I'm very fit and youthful for my age (see pics), so I desire a not necessarily younger, but a youthful woman, preferably with a lot of time to travel, ideally, a teacher. I'm finally OK living alone and am in no rush...but I need that special woman to make my life complete! I've contributed a lot to "eharmony advice"; click on it at the home page and search for my profile to read what I've said if you'd like to know me better.
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #2  May 29,2010, 8:05am
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Take this one with a grain of salt, as I could be an outlier on this opinion. I think you might be overemphasizing that your match needs to be attractive.

For instance "She'll have internal and external beauty, peace, fitness, intelligence, and an attractive face and figure." In that sentence alone you mention it twice. You then mention it again under additional information. It almost comes off as looks are very, very, very important to you. I'm not sure if you are looking for supermodel looks, but it kind of sound intimidating.

Also, under most important qualities you have quite a list. Maybe you would get more responses if you whittled it down a bit. For example, I'm a petite, some would say attractive fit lady that enjoys exercise, especially outdoors, etc, etc, but I'm not a teacher, and if you showed up in my list I probably wouldn't reach out to you because I don't meet all of your criteria, and we didn't even hit the MHCS portion of the communications.

I liked your "Most influential person(s)" response. I thinks its cool when people recognize there is no one most influential person.
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #3  May 29,2010, 8:34am
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Where is the most passionate section? To me, this is the most important part of the profile. Also, it is a good idea to write in complete sentences. It would be easier to read and it will sound like you are speaking directly to the reader
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #4  May 29,2010, 8:38am
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The most influential persons in my life
Is there one person who stands out to you more than the rest?? There is a lot of information here. Less is more.

The most important qualities in the person I'm looking for;
Oh BOY!! This makes you sound like you would be hard to please. This doesn't make you sound very flexible.

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you? Energy level, devotion to education, positive outlook.
Write a complete sentence here so that it doesn't read like a list.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
Do you really wish that people would notice all of these things about you right away?? Some of these things would fit into the Other information section.
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #5  May 29,2010, 8:42am
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Hi Robecology,

I had a few technical difficulties when trying to submit my review for your profile. Sorry about the cut and paste. I hope it makes sense. Your profile sounds good but I think you could trim out some of the details and expand on the points that are the most important to you. Also, it would help if you wrote in complete sentences. It will be easier to read and will sound like you are speaking directly to the reader.
 
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Johnc5 is offline Johnc5 Post #6  May 29,2010, 8:55am
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Like others have said, you talk to much about physical attraction and what your mate should be. Try talking about 2 or 3 things you are looking for in a partner, and dont mention physical beauty at all. If your matches aren't up to your standards, you can close them if you like (though this will limit your matches). And the One thing you wish people would notice about you is not an invitation for self indulgence (kind of sounds gloat-y to me). It's an exercise in self awareness, realizing what people don't notice about you that you want them to. No one is going to notice that you are handy and take care of your house unless you are dressed like a contractor and giving them a tour. Try something about your personality that people don't notice that you wish they would.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  May 29,2010, 8:58am
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  May 29,2010, 9:59am
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Robecology! I've never seen someone put "go check me out on EHAdvice" before! I think that's brilliant! A really good way to let people know who you are! (Assuming you don't edit yourself here.)

All in all I get the impression from your profile that you are: high energy, funny and bright, very demanding about a woman's physical appearance, like to focus on the positive, and I know some of your interests.

If this is who you are, you've nailed it.

You need to post your "most passionate about" here since that's possibly the most important thing in your profile: gets seen first.
 
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ursa is offline ursa Post #9  May 29,2010, 10:37am
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I echo the concerns expressed by others about your emphasis on physical attractiveness, but if it really is that important to you then maybe you should leave it in. However, you may then miss out on some very attractive ladies who are modest in their self-assessment and/or find men who rate outward beauty so highly to be superficial hence undesirable. Ever get the feeling you can't win? As with so much in life I suppose it boils down to a balance of risks- deciding which approach is the less imperfect...
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  May 29,2010, 10:43am
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I get that you have this list of what you want from your match, beauty, charm, likes the outdoors, teacher, etc. But, you don't say what you bring to the table. It seems very one sided and your list is a huge turn off, to me anyway.

Saying you want someone beautiful is not in itself bad, but you do seem to focus on it way too much.

It seems to me you over analyzed what you want and came up with a checklist that is probably much longer than what you have listed. Chop it down.

Post your most passionate sections and other parts you left out. This profile is about YOU and what you offer, more than it is about what you WANT from someone else.
 
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