To move on or not move on.


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desertdawg is offline desertdawg Post #1  May 27,2010, 6:54am
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I've received a couple of matches here lately, I've been trying on this site for the past 2 years. Two that I'm interested in have looked at me once, but haven't responded to my intro questions. It has been almost a month since we were matched and I sent the intros to them and they viewed me. One that I'm particularly interested in I've sent an ice breaker to and then finally emailed her. I told her that I found her profile very interesting and told her that I'd love to hear from her just to see if we're compatible, but that if she didn't find me interesting then to close me out and good luck to her. She viewed my profile a second time (the same day I emailed her), but she hasn't emailed me or closed me out. I really don't want to close her out because I really do find her interesting. Its been only a few days since I emailed her, though. I know I have to be patient and I know it's a good sign that she hasn't closed me out. But, is it unrealistic that I feel she should shoot me back an email saying yes I'm interested, but other things are happening OR that she should just close me out and we move on? The waiting is killing me. Lol
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  May 27,2010, 7:07am
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The good news is that she is active, the bad news is that she may not be able to respond because she is not a paid member at the moment. The good news is that there is a free communication weekend coming up, the bad news is that she may not know anything about it or head out of town and not check EH.

The bottom line, be patient and keep living your life and looking communicating with other matches. It's no skin off your back to leave a match open indefinitely. If she becomes a member and decides to respond, you win.
 
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desertdawg is offline desertdawg Post #3  May 27,2010, 7:12am
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She had 12 photos posted. Can you post pictures if you hadn't subscribed?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  May 27,2010, 7:30am
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Yes you can. She can do everything except see your photo and respond.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  May 27,2010, 7:34am
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Two things.

For the past two days, eH has been screwedup for a lot of people and maybe she couldn't log on. So you have to wait things out. Then you have the holiday weekend coming up and people are going to be busy doing things other than waiting for eH pages to load.

And yes, if you're not a paying member you can post photos but you won't be able to view other matches' photos.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #6  May 27,2010, 7:58am
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Are you comfortable sending her your personal email (an address that is not work related)? If she's having problems with eharmony, she may email you at your personal address.

On the other hand, she may have had a second look and decided that she's not interested after all. She may be keeping you open until her other options have dried up. In this case, tell her that you'll give her a couple of days or so to decide to communicate and then you close her. You shouldn't have to wait for someone to decide to communicate
 
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desertdawg is offline desertdawg Post #7  May 27,2010, 8:05am
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I would not have a problem sending her my personal email address, however, I blew the one "email her" I had telling her I was interested in her. I'm starting to think she may not be a paying member. And I'm hoping I get a response from her on the free weekend. I said this in another post, but I'll say it again because its bothering me now; eharmony should let their paying members know that they are matched with a person who can not respond because they haven't subscribed yet. This would allieviate paying members concerns over their matches interest level.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #8  May 27,2010, 8:08am
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desertdawg wrote :
I would not have a problem sending her my personal email address, however, I blew the one "email her" I had telling her I was interested in her. I'm starting to think she may not be a paying member. And I'm hoping I get a response from her on the free weekend. I said this in another post, but I'll say it again because its bothering me now; eharmony should let their paying members know that they are matched with a person who can not respond because they haven't subscribed yet. This would allieviate paying members concerns over their matches interest level.
I agree with this. One option that you could do is send eharmony an email and tell them about this situation. They're usually pretty good at tracking down the people who use their website. They could email her and ask her to email you.

I've got to go now, but will be checking back later. Hope your able to resolve this.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #9  May 27,2010, 8:55am
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I think that you should probably get on with other things. You have no control over what this woman does, so stop worrying about it.

Either she will eventually write you or she will not. Patience is the key here.

Ask customer care if they can verify that she actually got your message, if you are so inclined, and if that will make you feel better......

Oh, and this might sound a bit harsh, but you need to be less concerned about the reactions of people you don't know and have not met yet...... you will be a lot more comfortable doing this I think......

Other thing to think about is that a lot of people who seem quite interesting on paper, well, IRL it does not work for you quite so well at times......

JMHO

Lilycat
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  May 27,2010, 10:13am
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All good comments above. Hopefully you will hear from her this weekend during the FCW.

I am a bit concerned about your original post. You say that you have been on eHarmony for two years and have only found two girls interesting. And maybe I have misread your post but are you saying that you have just recently received matches for the first time after two years? Unless you live in a rural area with your distance set very short in two years you should have gotten hundreds of matches. You should also be sending First Questions to every match that does not have a deal breaking red flag in their profile. Put aside all your expectations and requirements for your matches, you are not going to marry her you are just looking for a first date. You may find that IRL she is much more compatible than she appeared on paper.
 
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