topper is offline topper Post #1  May 26,2010, 7:19pm
topper's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 27

See profile

"Realizing that labels are imperfect, do you consider yourself a dominant person in your personal life?"

Why would a women ask this question ?
 
  Reply With Quote
melman is offline melman Post #2  May 26,2010, 7:29pm
melman's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 2,944

See profile

topper wrote :
"Realizing that labels are imperfect, do you consider yourself a dominant person in your personal life?"

Why would a women ask this question ?
1. Baggage from her past.
2. Randomly clicked on it.

I've never been asked this one. It is an example of a question that should not be asked, or answered sincerely. If you ask it, the other person will wonder why you asked such a lousy question. Here are the canned answers - do any make you feel good about yourself? Do you really want to think about how much time you spend being "dominant" vs. "submissive"? Bleah!!

A: Yes, I generally dominate most social settings and relationships.
B: Although not always dominant, I am often taking the lead in relationships.
C: I like to spend equal time being dominant and submissive.
D: I usually like to follow someone else's lead.

I would give a non-serious answer to this.
"Yes, labels are imperfect."
"My label says 'inspected by #12.'"
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  May 26,2010, 7:30pm
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,608

See profile

She's a dominatrix.
 
  Reply With Quote
topper is offline topper Post #4  May 26,2010, 8:08pm
topper's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 27

See profile

Question for the ladies
 
  Reply With Quote
annother is offline annother Post #5  May 26,2010, 8:14pm
annother's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Apr 2010

Alberta

Posts: 10,735

See profile

I have to guess because I don't ask this question, but I'd say that a woman who has been emotionally abused or bullied would want to avoid that in the future. So, she might ask this question.
 
  Reply With Quote
DrTonya is offline DrTonya Post #6  May 26,2010, 8:26pm
DrTonya's Avatar

Current birthday pic...atrophy and all but just happy I can share! :)

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2009

Oklahoma

Posts: 525

See profile

I don't ask this question either, but I have a different take than Annother.

My sense is that she is asking if you are dominant because she *may* be more submissive in nature. Maybe she's feeling you out to see if you are the type to "take control" of things or be a "take charge" kind of guy when it comes to relationships in general or in intimate activities specifically. Since she was not more specific or clear, this is pure speculation.

Given that she was not more clear and you are unsure of the exact meaning (and based on answers here, misinterpretation could be huge) I would simply write as your answer that you would like to defer your response to get more clarification as to exactly what she means in OC. I do not see anything wrong with that approach (though I'm sure others will disagree). Unless, of course, you are clear in her intent and was simply looking to ask "why" she was asking and not "what" she specifically meant. Your call.

Personally, I would prefer if someone asked me for clarification of a question sent than have them "assume" they knew what I meant and write an answer that was completely off-base. Just my opinion though, fwiw.
 
  Reply With Quote
DrTonya is offline DrTonya Post #7  May 26,2010, 8:33pm
DrTonya's Avatar

Current birthday pic...atrophy and all but just happy I can share! :)

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2009

Oklahoma

Posts: 525

See profile

...
Last edited by DrTonya; May 27,2010 at 2:18pm. Reason: No longer relevant...
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  May 26,2010, 8:38pm
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,085

See profile

There are so many possible reasons! Ranging from "my last guy was kind of wimpy and I don't want that again" to "I love really really aggressive men".

It seems an odd thing to ask a stranger, don't you think? But! maybe she thought it's a good icebreaker?

I always prefer when men write their own answers rather than pick one of the canned options. But with this one, I would not recommend going with sarcasm or trying to be funny ... just answer it. Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #9  May 26,2010, 8:47pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

I've never asked this question. I find it very odd.
I remember one match asked it of me once, but I don't remember how I answered.

My guess is she either wants a dominant, take-charge kind of guy... or she wants to avoid that kind of guy. It could be taken in a sexual context, or not. No way to know at this stage, really.
 
  Reply With Quote
MISSDRAGONTAT is offline MISSDRAGONTAT Post #10  May 26,2010, 9:47pm
MISSDRAGONTAT's Avatar

4.0 this semester

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 125

See profile

topper wrote :
"Realizing that labels are imperfect, do you consider yourself a dominant person in your personal life?"

Why would a women ask this question ?
Because there can not be two captains in one boat. Someone is going to take the submissive role in the relationship. That isn't a good or bad thing. It's just personality. With that being said--some people know that they are very assertive and dominant at work & want to relax with their significant other & let them handle things.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« For the moderators on the free comm weekend | Using eHarmony | Questions? We've Got Answers »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome and Tips for eHarmony Advice Newbies! eHA_Admin_Lori Talk to your Community Team 10 February 9,2012 12:07pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop: Question 6: What is the most important quality you seek in another? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 105 December 27,2010 5:49pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop - Question 2: What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 93 May 23,2010 3:18pm
Other goals for coming to eHarmony? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 10 May 13,2010 7:55pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here) neardc Using eHarmony 4 October 27,2009 7:02pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:23pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0