Closing a Match During Open Communication


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PinkLilies is offline PinkLilies Post #1  May 24,2010, 6:32pm
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I have reached open communication with several matches, and I am now realizing that a couple of them just aren't right for me. I am no longer interested, in one match in particular, as his emails are poorly written and, at times, difficult to understand. I feel badly just closing him without any notice, as we have already exchanged several emails. What would be proper etiquette for closing a match at this point? I am considering sending a polite email simply indicating that I am no longer interested, before closing him. At least that way, I won't leave him wondering what happened. What do you think?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 24,2010, 6:41pm
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I prefer to receive a useful reason.

I suspect you will get argument, explanations, or pleading at this point, if you go that route, however.

Still, the people who care for feedback will appreciate it.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  May 24,2010, 6:50pm
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Send your polite e-mail.
 
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PinkLilies is offline PinkLilies Post #4  May 24,2010, 7:10pm
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Thanks for the replies. I'll be sending a quick email before closing the match.
 
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truthaboutcupid is offline truthaboutcupid Post #5  May 24,2010, 7:34pm
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PinkLilies wrote :
Thanks for the replies. I'll be sending a quick email before closing the match.
If he doesn't read it before you close him, will he be able to read it at all? I have always questioned that, because when you are "in communication" with someone, you can always go back and read their responses to the 1st questions, MHCS, and 2nd questions...and of course, all emails. However, once I close someone, I can't go back and read any of the previous communications.

So I wonder if THEY can still read the previous comms until they acknowledge the close and close me. That would answer the original question as to whether you should wait a few days after sending the Dear John email to ensure that the person can read it before actually closing them.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #6  May 24,2010, 7:36pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I prefer to receive a useful reason.

.
Your cold and slimey?
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #7  May 24,2010, 7:51pm
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PinkLilies wrote :
I have reached open communication with several matches, and I am now realizing that a couple of them just aren't right for me. I am no longer interested, in one match in particular, as his emails are poorly written and, at times, difficult to understand. I feel badly just closing him without any notice, as we have already exchanged several emails. What would be proper etiquette for closing a match at this point? I am considering sending a polite email simply indicating that I am no longer interested, before closing him. At least that way, I won't leave him wondering what happened. What do you think?
"It's been really nice chatting with you but, as I have become close with another, I do not feel comfortable continuing communication with you and have to close the match. Thank you for your interest, I wish you the best."
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  May 24,2010, 9:14pm
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olneyjeeps wrote :
"It's been really nice chatting with you but, as I have become close with another, I do not feel comfortable continuing communication with you and have to close the match. Thank you for your interest, I wish you the best."
The OP didn't say that. There's no reason to lie.

There's also no reason to say "it's been really nice chatting" and "I do not feel comfortable", since these things are basically contradictory.

"Thanks for communicating with me; I'm going to move on to other matches." is completely sufficient.

Of course, even this wouldn't be necessary if eH hadn't done away with the close reasons.
 
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jacques102 is offline jacques102 Post #9  May 24,2010, 9:58pm
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livenlearn wrote :
Your cold and slimey?
Ohhhhhhhh..........closed a match with a salamander huh?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #10  May 25,2010, 8:57am

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truthaboutcupid wrote :
If he doesn't read it before you close him, will he be able to read it at all? I have always questioned that, because when you are "in communication" with someone, you can always go back and read their responses to the 1st questions, MHCS, and 2nd questions...and of course, all emails. However, once I close someone, I can't go back and read any of the previous communications.

So I wonder if THEY can still read the previous comms until they acknowledge the close and close me. That would answer the original question as to whether you should wait a few days after sending the Dear John email to ensure that the person can read it before actually closing them.
Hi truthaboutcupid,

My understanding is that as long as neither you nor your match have completely closed out your eHarmony account, both of you are able to access any communication that took place before the match was closed.

We also think it's nice for a member to send a final message to someone they've been corresponding with through eHarmony mail. So, even though they've been closed, the match will be able to acccess this message . The only exception, I understand, was if the two of you FastTracked and that this issue was being resolved.

When trying to access previous communications with closed matches, after accessing their profile, are you clicking on the eHarmony Mail tab and then the blued out communcation steps? If you are, but still can't access previous communications, I encourage you to contact our Customer Care desk. Just click on the Help link at the bottom of our Singles pages and type contact into the search field.

Make sure that you let them know that you've gone through these steps and providing a few example matches never hurts.

If you need further help, you are welcome to PM me.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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