Jobless (sort of) = Dateless?


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Fledgling is offline Fledgling Post #1  May 23,2010, 7:39pm
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Hi, everyone. I haven't posted here in a while, because it's been an eventful couple of months. At the beginning of April (not too long after my 36th birthday ) the boyfriend I've mentioned on here a few times and I broke up. Hindsight-y thanks to all you advice-ers who recommended that I get out while the getting was good! I still think he's an OK guy, and I don't regret the time I spent with him, but I'll listen in the future!

I think I've processed everything, and I feel ready for meeting someone new--on eHarmony. Unfortunately, I also quit my job in mid-April (totally not my month). I left for very, very good reasons, and I don't regret it, but I'm afraid being unemployed will put me at a disadvantage. Right now I'm paying the bills as a freelance editor, but obviously I'd feel better about having something permanent. Would listing "editor" as my occupation be dishonest? Should I wait until I do have something permanent? I've seen threads on this topic before, but the posters were generally men. I guess I'm wondering if it's different for women...

Anyway, it's nice to be "back" on the boards...
 
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ravitaekwondo is offline ravitaekwondo Post #2  May 23,2010, 8:11pm
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Hi there OP,

Remember, we are in tough economic times. A lot of my friends, are "in transition", as the term goes. If you have a gig being an editor, don't be scared to tell people that. But, also, in the beginning of any relationship you may have next, be honest about your job situation....don't hide anything. It is much better to be honest in the beginning.

Take for example, myself. I have listed in my eH profile I am a technical writer, and that I have my own tech writing business. This is all true, but I am also looking for a job in IT Security. I got laid off last July, and I am hoping in coming close to landing something soon. My tech writing business is a side thing now, but it's my dream it will take off one day, and it will be my career.

So far, in the two months I have been back on eH, I only made contact with one woman. I told her everything honestly like I have here, but I never heard from her again. I don't know if my "being in transition" freaked her out. Oh well, her loss.

There have been a lot of postings on eH about this topic...being umemployed. People need to be understanding of this, and not be judgemental. After all, suppose you are in a relationship, and your partner loses his or her job. Are you going to bail out on them??? To me true love is being somebody through the best and the worst. That is what a relationship is.

Good luck!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  May 23,2010, 8:16pm
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I don't know if it makes a difference that you're female, but listing yourself as an "editor" is both honest and accurate. People have all kinds of employment situations (full-time, part-time, self-employed, contractor, etc.), and although your usual situation is to be a full-time employee, what you are doing now is a perfectly legitimate choice (even if you weren't planning on going back to being a regular employee).

In any event, the more important part of your post (to many of the men on these boards, anyway) is where you said that you are "paying the bills" with your current income.

Oh! And, I would give the same advice if you were a man.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #4  May 23,2010, 8:36pm
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Put editor,
By the time you actually meet someone you might have the job you want. You know it can take awhile. Now get dating.
 
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Fledgling is offline Fledgling Post #5  May 23,2010, 8:58pm
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Thanks, all, for the words of encouragement. It really is good to be back. And best of luck to you, too, ravitaekwondo!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  May 24,2010, 6:46am
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You should NOT put unemployed or anything that would even hint at that.

Working as you do as an independent editor is certainly an acceptable way of earning a living. If your normal job position is as an editor then it would be acceptable to just list that. If your normal job position is something other than as an editor (as example you normally are a Technical Writer but are editing racy romance novels on the side) then I would put both your primary occupation and that you are also doing the editing job. Still make no mention that you are not working at your primary occupation at the moment.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  May 24,2010, 8:05am
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There's no reason to tell anyone about your employment status. It's really none of their business when they haven't even met you yet.

For occupation I would put whatever work you generally do for a living, if it's different from what you're doing temporarily.
 
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Jules5401 is offline Jules5401 Post #8  May 24,2010, 2:48pm
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I agree put editor. I have friends that are solely freelance writers. If you're paying your bills, what's the issue?
 
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Co6aka is online now Co6aka Post #9  May 24,2010, 3:09pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You should NOT put unemployed or anything that would even hint at that.
Absolutely! No Money = No Honey

Ain't "love" grand?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  May 24,2010, 3:11pm

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Co6aka wrote :
Absolutely! No Money = No Honey

Ain't "love" grand?
I thought it was...No Bucks= No....wait..it's a bird...it's a plane..it's..Superman!!
 
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