Why does virtually every woman use the first question "If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew......."


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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #1  May 23,2010, 2:11pm

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"If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?"

Why does virtually EVERY woman on eHarmony use that question as one of "her first questions?"

What is UP with that?

Is it common for men to behave wrongly in this situation, or was this situation featured in an episode of 'Sex and the City?"
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #2  May 23,2010, 2:23pm

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I've never used it. there was a sort of similar thing on sex and the city, but it was her boyfriend just jealous of her success, because he got dropped by his publisher. he did know people at the party though.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 23,2010, 2:27pm
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I get this question frequently too.

I would guess the reason is that it is one of the questions that many have a first-hand experience of something that has been an issue or dissapointment in their life.

As with all questions, an honest answer is what I use. After all, you never know what they want to hear, even if the wording of the question implies something.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #4  May 23,2010, 3:22pm
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Probably them trying to find out how needy the guy may or may not be.
 
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YorkieGal is offline YorkieGal Post #5  May 23,2010, 3:47pm
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A woman's point of view...I use this question frequently for a few reasons:
1. If I'm taken to said party, and I don't know a soul, I feel it is only proper & common courtesy for my date to take me through the crowd & introduce me. After all, these are his friends, acquaintences, job contacts, etc. He probably was the one to invite me to the party. It is his responsibility to see that I've been introduced to everyone & hopefully made to feel comfortable.
2. I've been taken to many parties, get-togethers by different dates & got left at the door while he took off to do the male-bonding thing. Forgot all about me. They didn't even bring me a drink or introduce me to the Host(s). Didn't know where to put down my jacket. So I have to ask myself, Why was I brought along in the first place? This is rude & inconsiderate of my date. At some point during said party, I'll pull my date aside, in private, & we'd discuss his rudeness.

I ask because I want to avoid this scenario ever again. I don't consider myself old but I'm not 20 years old either. My match's answer tells me if he is considerate & remembers anything about manners. If I took my date to a party, that'd be the first thing I'd do is take him around & introduce him & we'd go from there. Hope this helps you guys.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  May 23,2010, 4:03pm
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nunayabizness wrote :
"If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?"

Why does virtually EVERY woman on eHarmony use that question as one of "her first questions?"

What is UP with that?

Is it common for men to behave wrongly in this situation, or was this situation featured in an episode of 'Sex and the City?"
I've never seen Sex and the City, and it's been a long time since I sent First Questions to anybody, but I recall using this one a lot. It's the best "Are you socially competent/shy/needy?" question they have, if I remember correctly. Not that you can really judge much by someone's answer to this... In my experience, you generally have to actually take someone to a party to find out what they would do if you took them to a party!
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  May 23,2010, 4:09pm

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bottom line, a woman wants to know if you are going to be an A-hole in front of her friends.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #8  May 23,2010, 4:10pm
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I used to ask that one. Mostly I just wanted to learn what their personality type might be, introverted, extroverted, comfortable meeting new people or preferring an introduction, etc.

I had no special agenda.
 
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Rainfallgirl is offline Rainfallgirl Post #9  May 23,2010, 4:24pm
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I didn't ever use that one but it was used on me and I was never sure how to answer it. I can do any one of the scenarios and it just depends what kind of party it is I guess, as to whether I am off mingling or if I am more comfortable sticking close to my date.
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #10  May 23,2010, 4:43pm
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This is a good question. It makes no sense to me either.
 
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