Give reasons why to close a match??


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kipty_29 is offline kipty_29 Post #1  May 22,2010, 12:09pm
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just wondering if it is a bad idea if EH would ask "reasons to close a match"
they can give options like: physically not attractive, or bad grammar, personality not compatible, not enough smiler interests, or the match can type it out.

what you guys think?
 
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krohnan is offline krohnan Post #2  May 22,2010, 12:54pm
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kipty_29 wrote :
just wondering if it is a bad idea if EH would ask "reasons to close a match"
they can give options like: physically not attractive, or bad grammar, personality not compatible, not enough smiler interests, or the match can type it out.

what you guys think?
We had those until the recent changes brought along with the archive function. When you went to close someone there was a list of options such as "lack of chemistry", differences in family upbringing or beliefs, distance, and everyone's "favorite" other (you can search around this forum, you should find a few people discussing what "other" could mean etc). It was mandatory that something was selected out of the choices in order for the close to go through.

These are now gone and it doesn't look like they're coming back anytime soon. An open response option has been sometimes suggested but would be a terrible idea just because the potential for abusing it as opposed to just selecting (or randomly selecting) a preset reason.
 
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darlingat49 is offline darlingat49 Post #3  May 22,2010, 12:58pm
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When I get closed I'm always curious as to why. But I also can't see myself telling a match that there was something that I didn't like about how they looked. Can you imagine checking your account and finding that match after match was closing you for this reason?
There used to be a menu of reasons for closing matches but they recently stopped that. The feedback that I got wasn't very helpful in knowing if my profile was not good or it truly was a matter of interests not meshing.
So in theory it would be nice to know but the reality is you probably won't know the real reason.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #4  May 22,2010, 1:01pm

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Hi kipty_29,

Actually, up until very recently, part of the closing communication process was to provide matches with a reason. Members were allowed to select from a list of reason which included some of the following:

I don't feel that the chemistry is there.
I think the difference in our values is too great.
Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match.
I would rather not say.

But, based on member feedback, providing or receiving these reasons didn't really benefit their experience and success; so that step was removed from the process.

For those members who had the opportunity in the past to share and receive the reasons for closing communication, do you feel it enhanced your experience and would you like to have that part of the process re-instated or not?

All the best.

-Renee
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #5  May 22,2010, 2:54pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee wrote :
Hi kipty_29,

Actually, up until very recently, part of the closing communication process was to provide matches with a reason. Members were allowed to select from a list of reason which included some of the following:

I don't feel that the chemistry is there.
I think the difference in our values is too great.
Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match.
I would rather not say.

But, based on member feedback, providing or receiving these reasons didn't really benefit their experience and success; so that step was removed from the process.

For those members who had the opportunity in the past to share and receive the reasons for closing communication, do you feel it enhanced your experience and would you like to have that part of the process re-instated or not?

All the best.

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Hi Renee,

I am disappointed that eHarmony has decided to remove the closed reasons and the final message option. If someone is just not interested that's one thing, but we will no longer have the opportunity to ask a match to reopen communication if there has been a misunderstanding.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  May 22,2010, 3:44pm
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tenderheart105 wrote :
Hi Renee,

I am disappointed that eHarmony has decided to remove the closed reasons and the final message option. If someone is just not interested that's one thing, but we will no longer have the opportunity to ask a match to reopen communication if there has been a misunderstanding.
You're saying you can't try to have it re-opened now?
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #7  May 22,2010, 3:56pm
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I'm soooo happy that the closed option is gone.

I found it to be ridiculous. I didn't receive any helpful feedback. Most of the time, I felt that the match lied about the reason.

Not to mention the photoless people who would select "other".

I don't want a stranger to tell me why they are not interested. Who cares what they think.

And I'm also finding that I don't get closed at all anymore since most matches don't even realize that it's an option.
Last edited by NYCpigeon; May 22,2010 at 3:58pm.
 
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Matt1964 is offline Matt1964 Post #8  May 22,2010, 4:32pm
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I always assume that the reason a woman closed me was that she was not attracted to me. Period. Boo hoo, moment of silence.....OK, back to work.

I have a LOT of criticisms of eH, but removing those 'reasons for closing' buttons is something positive it did.

Who cares WHY she says she closed you, she's a woman--an emotional little creature--she did it because your profile failed to generate ATTRACTION, bud. Next customer!

I am a cocky, in-you-face kinda guy with the sensitivity of a baseball mitt, but I would NEVER, EVER tell ANY woman that I closed them because I did not find her attractive. How utterly unchivalrous. I used to overwhelmingly just hit 'other,' or occasionally 'physical distance,' if they were out of the area--but those were it. Why would I ever want to hurt some lonely girl's feelings?

Why do so many folks on here seem to dwell, ponder and wax philosophical on why some stranger who saw them for about 20 seconds on a computer screen wasn't attracted to them? I just don't get that, maybe I'm weird. Yeah, probably.
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #9  May 22,2010, 4:37pm

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TheThinker wrote :
You're saying you can't try to have it re-opened now?
Hi TheThinker,

With the removal of the reason from the close communication process, members are no longer able to send the message asking a match to reconsider. If you don't also close the match, the member who closed you will still have the ability to re-open communication, should they have a change of heart in the future.

However, if you are very insterested in a match and would like us to contact them on your behalf to request that they re-open communication with you, you can e-mail your request to our Customer Care team by clicking on the Help link located at the bottom of all our Singles site pages. Type contact in the search box and you will be proivided an e-mail link.

Then, pending a favorable response, the match will be re-opened.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  May 22,2010, 4:49pm
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I do think removing the request to reopen a match was a big mistake and it seems to counter eHarmony's mantra of communication. That said, I can't remember using that more than once or twice.

I am happy to see the closed reasons gone. I'm one of those "closed is closed" type people. I really couldn't glean much meaningful out of the closed reasons. They seemed to do more to agitate people than anything.
 
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