Would you communicate with a pictureless profile?


View Poll Results: Would you respond to a request for communication if the match has posted no pics?
Yes I would. Eventually I'll get to see him/her. 10 28.57%
No, absolutely not! I want to see the pics first. 9 25.71%
Maybe. It depends on if there is something about the profile that I really like. 16 45.71%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #1  May 22,2010, 11:22am
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I recently had my first request for communication by a match with no pics posted. My inclination is that I don't wish to communicate with someone whom I have no idea how they look.

Personally, I choose my dates based on overall qualities and do not focus soley on any one aspect. However, looks do matter to a certain degree (for me).

Why would a guy try to get a date without presenting his physical appearance?

What would you do?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 22,2010, 11:25am
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I have, I do, and I will.

In my experience, there is not a connection between having or not having photos and appearance (at least, for the women I met.)

There are many reasons not to post a photo, including employment or reputation, embarrasment, and not wanting to judged on appearance.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  May 22,2010, 11:26am
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I have but usually ask for a photo before we meet. Communicating online is one thing, knowing who you are meeting in person is another.

I'd say go for it and just ask for his photo when you reach OC.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  May 22,2010, 11:27am
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I would go through GC and if it gets to OC, ask him to email or txt a picture. If he said no, I'd ask why. Reasonable answer? I'd meet.

People have various reasons for not posting their mugshot online ... sensitive jobs, or just shyness, whatever.

I have seen some posts here where people said when they met their pictureless match, the person turned out to be spectacular ... and didn't post a pic to weed out people who were just attracted to their looks.

I'd give it a shot. What have you got to lose? At worst, you meet for 30 minutes at starbucks then end it with "sorry no chemistry".

I forget who it is, but there is a member here who said they met their current Squeeze via EH, with no photo.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  May 22,2010, 11:39am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
I have seen some posts here where people said when they met their pictureless match, the person turned out to be spectacular ... and didn't post a pic to weed out people who were just attracted to their looks.

The two most attractive women I met had no photo. Combined with the deceitful photos, this is why I am confident in my approach.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #6  May 22,2010, 11:40am
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I voted maybe. But I'm not going very far in communication without one. BTDT. And I don't initiate communication with photo-less matches. To me, it's like someone walking around with a bag over their head. If they initiate, I respond with a photo nudge.

The excuse about someone's profession and a photo out in public is bs as far as eH is concerned. Only one's matches can see the photo and if you eventually do meet, what's the difference.

No photo = No communicado.

ETA: I don't close them out right away; I just don't initiate communication except for a photo nudge.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #7  May 22,2010, 11:46am
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tweet37 wrote :
I voted maybe. But I'm not going very far in communication without one. BTDT. And I don't initiate communication with photo-less matches. To me, it's like someone walking around with a bag over their head. If they initiate, I respond with a photo nudge.

The excuse about someone's profession and a photo out in public is bs as far as eH is concerned. Only one's matches can see the photo and if you eventually do meet, what's the difference.

No photo = No communicado.

ETA: I don't close them out right away; I just don't initiate communication except for a photo nudge.
Is there such a thing as a photo nudge? I don't seem to see it anywhere.

I agree with you that the profession explanation sounds a little lame. There is nothing wrong with being on a dating site that has a good reputation.
 
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nophotos is offline nophotos Post #8  May 22,2010, 12:57pm
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tweet37 wrote :
The excuse about someone's profession and a photo out in public is bs as far as eH is concerned. Only one's matches can see the photo and if you eventually do meet, what's the difference.

No photo = No communicado.
I think it's important everyone do what is within their comfort zone. I've explained my reasons before, and they are not bs. That doesn't require anyone to contact me. It's about my comfort level. Stalker aside - I am very well known in my profession and particularly recognizable in my community. I was matched with men I know professionally, two of whom are married. The man I met on eH was intrigued enough by my profile to respond to my initiation. His first response to me in OC was to request a photo - and he asked in a very charming way. I sent it IMMEDIATELY. If I wasn't his type looks-wise, that was not going to throw me into a tailspin. He was much more attractive in person than his pictures (which weren't bad) and he says the same about me. I make a choice every day not to get in my own way.
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chemgal is offline chemgal Post #9  May 22,2010, 1:43pm
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Yes, but I would not initiate communication with one (as I generally assume they're inactive). I also would not meet the person without seeing a picture first because how am I supposed to recognize them?
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #10  May 22,2010, 1:52pm
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NYCpigeon wrote :
Why would a guy try to get a date without presenting his physical appearance?
For the same reason girls do not post photos.
 
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