kipty_29 is offline kipty_29 Post #1  May 20,2010, 10:34pm
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maybe i am being impatient, but i feel really bad sending out so many "ice breakers" to so many people.... most of the time i am getting ignored, maybe like 80% of the time, 20% of the time they close the match.. haha damn! ah well move on..... but what the heck is up with the rest of the ladies? maybe i am getting alot of dead profiles?
i don't mind much when girls close matches on ice breakers, i know i am not the best looking guy in the world, and i am sure my job doesn't help much either...
but Ladies if your not interested please close the match. there is no hurt feelings...
but man i feel awful opening up so many communications with so many matches, i truly feel like a dog doing that.

i am starting to think this might have been a mistake to sign up on EH.
 
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UniqueUserName is offline UniqueUserName Post #2  May 21,2010, 12:49pm
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I think eHarmony was a mistake for me as well. I am young, and a majority of the matches I find are not my type. I prefer Artsy people to norm.

In regards to yourself if you are new to the site, I often hear that when you start getting matches often enough they are people that are not paying members or are inactive accounts; just leave them be. I'd also suggest doing e-mails or the questions rather than an icebreaker; Initiate it, women prefer a man that can take charge and not hide behind an icebreaker.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #3  May 21,2010, 1:19pm
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If you are a paying member, don't bother with icebreakers. Just send the first questions.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #4  May 21,2010, 3:09pm

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Hi kipty_29,

Sorry to hear that you are already disheartened by your eHarmony experience. But glad you found our Adivce site so you could get some support and advice.

Please know that we want you to find your special match a.s.a.p., and we can certainly understand that it is hard to be patient with the process. But to give you some perspective, on average, members who have been successfully matched on our site dedicated between 3-6 months to their search before receiving their special match. So patience and perseverance is definitely part of the experience for most of our members.

But there are quite a few things you can do to increase your chances of finding your special match and bypassing the icebreakers and sending out the 1st set of questions to your matches, as UniqueUserName and mrflyer recommended, is something I would also encourage you to do.

To help our eHarmony members stay positive and have the best eHarmony experience possible, several Advice articles have been written specifically for them. So I encourage you to check them out. Here are a few that you may want to start with:

eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Personal Preferences
Using eHarmony: 5 Must Read Tips
Dating Tips, Online Profile

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  May 21,2010, 3:51pm

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mrflyer wrote :
If you are a paying member, don't bother with icebreakers. Just send the first questions.
Agreed. Plus not to make the OP paranoid....if you're a guy, many women would expect more than just an icebreaker. This includes winks, etc. They'd expect you to just communicate.
 
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kipty_29 is offline kipty_29 Post #6  May 21,2010, 5:42pm
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yeah the reason why i use ice breakers is because i did send questions and those would also get ignored, so i thought maybe the questions were too forward, i thought icebreakers wouldn't scare them away... haha

but yeah, k change of plans then, i will also send questions.

hey UniqueUserName, what u mean by artsy? (just wondering)

one last question, there is one match i would like to know more, i have sent questions and icebreakers and all, but no replies, i can see her "view me as a mach" but no replies... should i keep trying to talk to her? she seems really nice in her profile and all,
thanks for the reply back
Last edited by kipty_29; May 21,2010 at 5:44pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #7  May 21,2010, 5:46pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee wrote :
But to give you some perspective, on average, members who have been successfully matched on our site dedicated between 3-6 months to their search before receiving their special match.
Can I ask exactly what this claim means?

eH has absolutely no way to know whether anyone ever received a "special match" (sigh).

Maybe you're referencing a number from your marketing department about what the average length of a subscription period is? (Maybe a current number, maybe not.) But that wouldn't tell you anything about what the average user's experience was, nor about the quality of his/her matches. (I've been a member on and off several times. eH never asked me to tell them about my experience.)

I think the average person can decide with a couple of weeks, whether eH was worth their money. Whether they signed up for a month, or 3, or 6, or 12.

So unless you can clarify what you mean, I'm afraid I will have to file this one in the Pile of Useless eH Marketing Claims. Along with the claim about being responsible for hundreds of marriages every day and etc.
 
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TheDizzle is offline TheDizzle Post #8  May 22,2010, 9:07am
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Kip,

I think I'm part of the "young" crowd here too... at age 22 I don't often get a lot of good matches that fit my criteria. After 3 months I got one decent match that actually has made it to open communication (fingers crossed, I sent the first e-mail last night... but $100 says I don't get a response )

It's a crap shoot really. The odds that a really cool match is also a paying member and also actively using the service can be tough. What I normally do is just send questions out to anyone I get matched with who has some potential, and just see if they respond. That's about all you can do really. You could also try posting your profile in the "Using E-Harmony" board and ask for advice on changing anything to make it a bit more polished.

I signed up for 3 months here just to see how it was so different than any other site out there, and when my subscription runs out at the end of June I won't be renewing it. The service itself makes logical sense as long as the people you get matched with are active, but that doesn't normally happen. Unfortunately it's just the nature of the beast we're up against.

I wish you luck man, Take e-harmony for what it is - use it to meet new people and maybe get a couple dates out of it. If you keep your expectations low it can't really disappoint... and who knows? It just might work for you.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #9  May 22,2010, 9:57am
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I will say I have not met that many men through eHarmony, but the ones I did meet, it did seem that we were highly compatible. Too bad there was no romantic attraction on one side or the other each time but I don't know that that's any different from the usual scenarios of meeting people? Which I'd like to point out, are all still available and open to be used as well even if you're a subscriber. You shouldn't just rely on eHarmony to meet someone.
 
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kipty_29 is offline kipty_29 Post #10  May 22,2010, 11:38am
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yeah, i think Ehamony needs to put accounts in sleep mode when they stop being active, i know for a fact that someone's subscription ran out and they still have me as a match(the match wrote out when her time is up)

i am 29 not sure if i still belong with the young crowd.... i feel like i am running out of time, but yeah, i will keep trying i have about 2 months left with Eharmony...

i choose to use EH, because i thought it would be a convenient, clean way to meet people, that i am compatible with...
ever since college and my job i have very little time to go out and meet people. I am fairly religious, the only place i thought i would meet my potential wife is at church, but even there i feel some what of a stranger...
so here i am on EH trying to find someone. An honest, modest and calm lady that loves god, art and nature.... is that too much to ask??
my standards are not high on looks, because to me they don't mater that much but I still have to be attracted to them....

this online dating stuff is a lot more different than i thought it would be....

good luck everyone.
 
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