LitChick03 is offline LitChick03 Post #1  May 20,2010, 7:03pm
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Hi All--
I'm new to EH (about 2 months) and having trouble connecting with potential matches. I had a few matches accept my offer for open communication, but never reply. Any help with my profile would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Basic Information

Occupation: HS English Teacher Age: 28 Height: 5' 5" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Never
In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

My brother has been the most influential person in my life. We were not close when we were younger and now we are. We've laughed together, we've cried together and caused trouble together. His "tough love" has made me a better person and taught me not to let people push me around. I can't imagine life without him!


The three things which Kate is most thankful for:

  • My family (they make me laugh, they make me cry, they made me who I am today)
  • The opportunities I have had (education, traveling, unique experiences)
  • My career (I get to influence students every day-- very lucky!)

The one thing wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

My adventurous side-- I like to explore new things and conquer fears! I'm currently working on my fear of heights-- I've climbed two of the most famous Duomos in the world and hiked in the Olympic Mountains.. I'm getting there!


The things I can't live without are:

  • Coffee/Diet Coke (Caffeine!)
  • A good book or a great music playlist
  • QT with friends and family
  • The Beach (looove flipflops!)
  • Sports - NY Yankees, NY Rangers, Steelers

The first thing people notice about me is:

I love to make jokes, pull pranks and keep people on their toes with my unabashed wit! Making people laugh is one of my favorite things to do!


Some additional information wanted you to know is:

I'm funny, sweet, smart and caring. I like to laugh. Sometimes making a fool of myself comes prior to that. Total sports fiend. I like contradictions. October is the best month (MLB playoffs, fall weather); Thursday the best day (loooove long weekends). I adore when I'm pleasantly surprised by an individual's unselfish actions. Sometimes you just need to get in the car and drive (because a good road trip can fix everything).


Typically spends her leisure time:

I love traveling-- recently went to Italy and fell in love with the Tuscan countryside and Florence. I also enjoy reading-- both fiction and non-fiction, "serious" books and chick lit "beach" books. I am getting back into running, for both health and leisure reasons. I'm looking forward to hitting the boardwalk as it gets warmer and running races this spring/summer.

The last book read and enjoyed:

I most recently read Atul Gawande's books "Better" and "Complications" which were very interesting perspectives on success and improvement in the medical field and life in general. I really enjoyed Gawande's perspective regarding ethical dilemmas and how failure, not success, can actually make doctors (and others!) better at what they do.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #2  May 20,2010, 8:13pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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You sound like a very fun and interesting person.
The only thing that stands out to me is you have lived more then most people your age.
Thats not a bad thing.
Other then that. Could it be your area? Your distance settings?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #3  May 20,2010, 8:28pm
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Where is the "thing you are most passionate about" answer? That's the first question in the whole profile, and IMO the most important.

What you have posted otherwise seems fine. All the questions are answered and the common cliche answers have been avoided.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  May 20,2010, 8:29pm
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Your "what I'm looking for" section is missing here. Do you want to post it?

I really don't see anything off about the rest of your profile.

The only thing that pops into my head with this is it's possible your profile is daunting? How do you feel about men who are less active than you, or not as athletic, etc.? If you like quieter types, perhaps work that in somewhere.

How do you like the types of matches you're getting? If they would just communicate do you think they would be good matches for you? I wonder if your preference settings are somehow roping in men who are not a great match for you? and they see that so they don't answer.

You could try widening your settings as much as you can stand, plus one more notch and see what happens.
 
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xina62 is offline xina62 Post #5  May 20,2010, 8:31pm
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You sound wonderful. Well rounded, educated and a good relationship with your brother. I can't imagine what the problem would be? Hang in there.
 
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truthaboutcupid is offline truthaboutcupid Post #6  May 20,2010, 9:08pm
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1. It's probably your pictures because your profile isn't awful.

2. You do have very cliche answers for the "3 things I'm thankful for" part. I swear every profile on here reads the same with family, education, job, friends, and things like I-pods, cell phone, ect. It's okay to be like everyone, but it doesn't stand out and therefore puts more emphasis on your photos (which is really what most men look at anyways, and assuming there is an attraction and no red flags....men communicate).

3. "I love to travel." Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I read that haha. It is, what it is. Some men may see this as "I expect you to take me on trips" (as in PAY for you to travel....as in, high maintenance). There are other ways to word it, perhaps as others have suggested, rather than "I love to travel".....such as, "As a teacher, I have my summers off so I save my money every year for a summer trip since I enjoy traveling. This past summer, I visited......." That makes you sound financially responsible too.

4. Your sports teams. (Let's leave the Rangers out of this). Assuming you like sports, you probably are attracted to jock type guys who also like sports. Do you understand that men can take sports seriously? Like, VERY seriously? Yes, men can. Two of your favorite teams just happen to be the most hated (and most loved) teams in sports--the Yankees and the Steelers. Both have huge fan bases, BUT those not in the fan base are NOT indifferent to them. They hate them....and more importantly...their fans (i.e. YOU). Soooooooo, maybe a guy likes your profile and reads....and reads.....and then says, "Oh no, not a Yankee fan...CLOSE!" You don't think it happens? Maybe just remove the specific teams and list the sports. You can break the news to them face-to-face haha. I can see it now.....you are in love with an eH match and on the second date he says, "Go Red Sox" and you don't know what to do with yourself!

These are just suggestions. Your profile actually is pretty solid. I really think you need to make sure you have good pictures. Clear shots. No groups. No unknown men in the photos. No sunglasses ect. And if you have good photos and men still aren't attracted to you .....a "good" profile probably won't save you. That's the unfortunate truth. I wish you well!

(Please don't correct my grammar haha)
 
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LitChick03 is offline LitChick03 Post #7  May 21,2010, 2:56am
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Thank you so much for the feedback! Wow! Everyone is so helpful.

Per your requests, here are the other sections:

The one thing I am most passionate about: I'm passionate about traveling to new places and exploring old favorites, literature, spending time with friends and family, watching movies, going for a run after a long day at work, and working with adolescents and helping them become better readers/writers/people.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: A combination of a genuine personality with a kind heart is always important in a partner.




Thanks again!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  May 21,2010, 5:27am
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LitChick03 wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about: I'm passionate about traveling to new places and exploring old favorites, literature, spending time with friends and family, watching movies, going for a run after a long day at work, and working with adolescents and helping them become better readers/writers/people.
In addition to not being "one thing", these are mostly the vague non-specific things that most people say. When you have a long list, they aren't really "passions". They're just things you do sometimes.

Focus on one or at most two things and write about them in a way that really gives the reader a picture of what your life is like. You might want to think about what your best friend might say about you, if he/she was trying to get a guy to ask you out.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  May 21,2010, 7:30am
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LitChick03 wrote :
--snip


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: A combination of a genuine personality with a kind heart is always important in a partner.
OK well that's the only section I think could use work. It's kind of vague. And the way you've worded it, you're saying "well this is a good thing pretty much for everybody". Which of course it is! Pick the 1 or 2 things that you really must have in a partner, and state it as first-person.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  May 21,2010, 5:04pm
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melman wrote :
In addition to not being "one thing", these are mostly the vague non-specific things that most people say. When you have a long list, they aren't really "passions". They're just things you do sometimes.

Focus on one or at most two things and write about them in a way that really gives the reader a picture of what your life is like. You might want to think about what your best friend might say about you, if he/she was trying to get a guy to ask you out.
I'd agree with melman on this. To some extent, you should be trying to define yourself with this question. I'd much rather see someone pick one thing and expand on that rather than a list of a bunch of stuff.
 
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