jennieterry is offline jennieterry Post #1  May 18,2010, 6:43pm
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wating patiently

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some of these boys on here you guys are sending me have problems responding back i have like 90 people on here and there making me wait either close the match or respond your making me crazy.. i think i have enough confidence for this site i just gotta be more patient. oh well i will just have to keep waiting and waiting and waiting
jennie
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is online now Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  May 20,2010, 8:52am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Jennie I presume you are referring to the eHarmony dating site. You will find that most (about 90%) of your matches are non-paying members who can't respond. Most non-paying members are also non-active which means that they will also not view or close you. You can use the Who's Viewed Me to see how many of your matches are at least active. This is just the nature of the game.

Some hints. Make sure you have at least one photo posted. Send First Questions to any match that does not have deal breaking red flags in their profile (I think that you are doing this already). Take a deep breath and then be patient. Don't be too quick to close a match if they don't respond right away. I would suggest that you don't close any non-responding match until after there has been a FCW.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  May 20,2010, 2:01pm

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Hi Jennieterry,

I’m sorry it’s been such a frustrating process for you, and you’re certainly not alone in that. I know that you posted about photo approval, too, and said that you had some photos you didn’t like as much but didn’t want to post them.

I haven’t seen your photos, but you may want to invest in getting a good variety of photos you feel confident about – photos that show various aspects of your personality and photos that you feel convey who you are “IRL” (In Real Life).

You can also post your profile for feedback from the community to make sure that you’re putting out a profile that captivates the type of matches in whom you’re interested.

I know that it’s also frustrating when they don’t respond or close, but I just want to encourage you that first of all, you are doing your part in initiating communication, and that is a big part of eventually finding success. To manage your matches in a way that makes you feel more appropriately in control, you may make a rule for yourself that you’ll just close out any match who doesn’t respond after a certain amount of time (such as 2 weeks). That way, you won’t feel like you are at their mercy as much. Then, maybe look for creative ways to get as many matches as possible. You can find lots of match setting ideas on the Using eHarmony articles page: http://advice.eharmony.com/using-eharmony.html

Good luck, I’m hoping that things turn around for you – we often here that people get their break-throughs on the site.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Kate; May 20,2010 at 2:05pm.
 
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loves2write is offline loves2write Post #4  May 20,2010, 3:15pm
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Jenny,

You can always close them. If they are interested, they can ask you to reopen.
 
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jennieterry is offline jennieterry Post #5  May 28,2010, 8:41pm
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wating patiently

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thanks still looking im very hopeful i know im not going to find someone right away. i just have to be patient and wait for the right one to come along one day intill then i will be happy being single and content intill that day happens and i paid for a year on the eharmony so im in no rush. i will not be one of those complainers who i read on here alot okay bye bye
 
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