How do you approach getting started on a site like eHarmony?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  May 18,2010, 1:19pm
eHA_Admin_Lor…'s Avatar

My one wish for you, is love. :)

Moderator

Joined: Nov 2008

Santa Monica, CA

Posts: 5,120

See profile

So, for those of you who don't know, I am participating in our Great eHA Dating Experiment this month and in doing so, starting to, as I like to call it, dip my "toe in the water" dating-wise again.

So, I registered for a couple of online dating sites and maybe because I'm "in the business" now, I found myself paying extra close attention to how I was interacting with these sites, what I felt compelled to do, etc. I thought it was all REALLY interesting, and wondered how different I am from everyone else out there (if at all).

I filled out the profiles, but just a *tiny* bit. No photo uploaded yet. I figured I would peruse profiles and save some "Favorites" for a few days, and then loop back maybe in a week or so and fill out my profile, add a few photos and then reach out to my very favorite guys first.

So, am I weird?* Or, do you guys also sort of formulate a strategy and/or set little goals for yourself (this week I'll save Favorites, next week I'll fill out my profile, etc. etc.), as well when using our or other dating sites?

I'm really looking forward to learning about others approach to this process!



~~~

*This is a rhetorical question.....
Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; May 18,2010 at 1:21pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  May 18,2010, 1:40pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,429

See profile

eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
So, for those of you who don't know, I am participating in our Great eHA Dating Experiment this month and in doing so, starting to, as I like to call it, dip my "toe in the water" dating-wise again.

So, I registered for a couple of online dating sites and maybe because I'm "in the business" now, I found myself paying extra close attention to how I was interacting with these sites, what I felt compelled to do, etc. I thought it was all REALLY interesting, and wondered how different I am from everyone else out there (if at all).

I filled out the profiles, but just a *tiny* bit. No photo uploaded yet. I figured I would peruse profiles and save some "Favorites" for a few days, and then loop back maybe in a week or so and fill out my profile, add a few photos and then reach out to my very favorite guys first.

So, am I weird?* Or, do you guys also sort of formulate a strategy and/or set little goals for yourself (this week I'll save Favorites, next week I'll fill out my profile, etc. etc.), as well when using our or other dating sites?

I'm really looking forward to learning about others approach to this process!



~~~

*This is a rhetorical question.....
Lori-
When I was on the dating sites, I filled out my profile little by little, because I couldn't really decide on how best to approach it...took me about a week to get it where I was satisfied that it was good, and accurate.
So little by little, I'd fill in the blanks. I guess I thought the same thing you were thinking.
Are you weird for doing that? It was my style, so that's what I did.
Obviously, you have to have the basics to get started, photos, about you, what you're looking for, etc, etc...

So, I did what you did, or are doing....so we're both weird, I suppose.
Anyway, good luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #3  May 18,2010, 1:55pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,943

See profile

I think it's not a bad idea to change the profile from time to time, try to emphasize different aspects of yourself, see what the "bait" catches each time and whether it approximates what you in turn are looking for.

I do think it's interesting how the construction of the different sites forces different behavior and strategies. Ie, my chemistry.com experiment.

I posted an article over in the experiment section about proactive dating that I think is a pretty good game plan. I'd add to it to make a list of the criteria you want and don't want to guide your selection process.
 
  Reply With Quote
eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  May 18,2010, 2:04pm

Moderator

Joined: Sep 2008

Pasadena, California

Posts: 1,814

See profile

nightling wrote :
I think it's not a bad idea to change the profile from time to time, try to emphasize different aspects of yourself, see what the "bait" catches each time and whether it approximates what you in turn are looking for.

I do think it's interesting how the construction of the different sites forces different behavior and strategies. Ie, my chemistry.com experiment.

I posted an article over in the experiment section about proactive dating that I think is a pretty good game plan. I'd add to it to make a list of the criteria you want and don't want to guide your selection process.
I like the idea of changing up your profile and "experimenting" from time to time, Nightling! It also makes you appear on your matches' Match Update pages. This is a good way to peak their curiosity about you and subtly remind them to give your profile another look-see.

Glad you're part of the Great Dating Experiment. I love that group -- I think Lori is a genius.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
  Reply With Quote
charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #5  May 18,2010, 2:45pm
charmed59's Avatar

Life is good.

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2010

Northern California

Posts: 1,074

See profile

I tend to work on the profile over weeks, but not put it up until it is finished. So once it goes public it's pretty much complete. I might go in and tweak it from time to time, especially if I'm getting weird responses. For instance, the first profile I posted said I liked to dance, I meant ballroom or dance club dancing. I got tons of guys in cowboy hats because to them, dancing means two step. And move very suave looking guys that liked to salsa. So I took out the dancing line.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #6  May 18,2010, 2:46pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,943

See profile

eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
I like the idea of changing up your profile and "experimenting" from time to time, Nightling! It also makes you appear on your matches' Match Update pages. This is a good way to peak their curiosity about you and subtly remind them to give your profile another look-see.

Glad you're part of the Great Dating Experiment. I love that group -- I think Lori is a genius.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Thanks, Kate. ; )
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #7  May 18,2010, 2:49pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,943

See profile

How to make the first move
P
  • ick a list of favorites, at least 5 or 6, and contact them all at once.
  • Do not let yourself get too focused on any one person before you hear back and get some sense of their interest and availability.
  • Be prepared for a high non-response rate. No response is very common. If 30 percent of your contacts reply, you are doing very well.
  • While you are waiting for the first group you contacted to respond, look around again and get five or six more prospects ready to go. Do not wait more than a week -- start sending out more first emails to your new list.
  • Remember that "no" or "no response" is not about you. It can't be. These folks don't know you at all. A "no" is about their non-availability. Do not let your imagination run wild and make a "no" harder than it needs to be.
Here's a link to the complete article.
Why Proactive Dating Works -- Yahoo! Personals

I also liked her advice on making up criteria to go by. Found that immensely helpful. I know EH has you do that too with the MH/CS but I don't know, I felt kind of pinned in by the choice list, and I didn't prepare it thinking about it as a way to sort through matches. It was better to be able to make up my own shorthand for things.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 18,2010, 6:38pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
So, for those of you who don't know, I am participating in our Great eHA Dating Experiment this month and in doing so, starting to, as I like to call it, dip my "toe in the water" dating-wise again.

So, I registered for a couple of online dating sites and maybe because I'm "in the business" now, I found myself paying extra close attention to how I was interacting with these sites, what I felt compelled to do, etc. I thought it was all REALLY interesting, and wondered how different I am from everyone else out there (if at all).

I filled out the profiles, but just a *tiny* bit. No photo uploaded yet. I figured I would peruse profiles and save some "Favorites" for a few days, and then loop back maybe in a week or so and fill out my profile, add a few photos and then reach out to my very favorite guys first.

So, am I weird?* Or, do you guys also sort of formulate a strategy and/or set little goals for yourself (this week I'll save Favorites, next week I'll fill out my profile, etc. etc.), as well when using our or other dating sites?

I'm really looking forward to learning about others approach to this process!


~~~

*This is a rhetorical question.....
So you have resorted to Yahoo! Personals?
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  May 18,2010, 6:49pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Re: the thread title. I started on eHarmony by filling out the Personality Profile Questionnaire.

Then I filled in the various parts of the profile and uploaded photos.
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  May 19,2010, 11:57am
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

Create a good profile, learn the features of the site, and start communicating with people.

I don't know what goals you could set beyond putting in some effort, since most real goals rely on the actions of other people, like meeting X number of people in person.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Lack of use of the 'close' button | Using eHarmony | How often does this happen to you girls »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome and Tips for eHarmony Advice Newbies! eHA_Admin_Lori Talk to your Community Team 10 February 9,2012 12:07pm
is eharmony actually different than any other dating site? redestneckever Using eHarmony 0 October 16,2009 5:06am
Is eharmony a site for rich people? stevenvictx Using eHarmony 41 September 25,2009 8:48am
New Discussion Board System for eHarmony Advice! eharmony Dating 172 July 17,2009 10:02pm
Just started dating again: Need some advice alex751 Dating 10 May 12,2009 8:47am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0