sony12 is offline sony12 Post #1  May 17,2010, 8:10pm
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How often does it happen that the guy asks for your phone number (through eharmony and before you actually met) and you give it to him and then he never calls.

I know it happens quite frequently after you have met but does it happen very often that he asked for your phone number and you gave it to him and then never calls prior to the meeting phase?
 
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Rynok is offline Rynok Post #2  May 17,2010, 8:16pm
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I've had it happen to about 20% of the girls that give me phone numbers from online avenues such as dating sites. It's seen as "easier" to say "Here's my number" and to not respond (or get a number and not call) than it is to let the person down at the time.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #3  May 17,2010, 8:29pm
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I have had it happen once. We completed all the GC questions. Got to OC and then shared messaging through EH for about a week and a half. He said he wanted to meet and to also talk. He told me he would call one night and then sent a message saying that a friend needed his help that night, but he would call the next morning at 10:00. He did. My phone rang once and then went to my voicemail. I tried calling back and got his voicemail. I left a message saying that I was available and to call back. I then checked my voicemail and received a message saying that he would try to call later. He never did. I called and left another voicemail. Still never heard back from him.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  May 18,2010, 8:08am
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I've had this happen a few times. Worse is when they give/take the number then talk to you once or twice and don't really go anywhere with it. Had one guy tell me how much he wanted to get to know me, etc, and then when I sent him a text (he gave me his number without my asking), it was purely one sided. I asked questions, he answered them and asked me nothing. Well, almost nothing, he did ask about the weather.

I really don't understand why people do this. If you really aren't that interested, why say you are?
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #5  May 18,2010, 6:43pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I've had this happen a few times. Worse is when they give/take the number then talk to you once or twice and don't really go anywhere with it. Had one guy tell me how much he wanted to get to know me, etc, and then when I sent him a text (he gave me his number without my asking), it was purely one sided. I asked questions, he answered them and asked me nothing. Well, almost nothing, he did ask about the weather.

I really don't understand why people do this. If you really aren't that interested, why say you are?
I've had that happen as well where people would answer my questions but then not ask anything in return. It is difficult to keep conversations going with people like that and I have found that often times if you end up meeting them they will act that same way in person.....and it usually does not end up being a very good date.

I think some people are just like that. I think often times what causes them to be like that is that they are either shy, have a submissive nature and choose just to follow the other persons lead, or they are very quiet and private.

These are the types of people who often wind up marrying control freaks.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  May 18,2010, 9:04pm
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I have never asked for a matches phone number. Just prior to meeting I give them my cell phone number so they can get hold of me if there is a last minute problem. I expect them to also give me their cell phone number at the same time for the same reason.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  May 18,2010, 9:11pm
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Interesting view sony12. But, most of the men that do this are very assertive when it comes to asking for mine or giving their phone number. They usually makes statements of "I want to talk to you on the phone and meet you, soon."

I find the guys who are a little less assertive are the ones where the conversation keeps going. Maybe I'm too assertive for the super assertive men?

And, I think I've found my word for the day... assertive.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #8  May 19,2010, 5:35am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
"I want to talk to you on the phone and meet you, soon."
You know it's funny I was talking to this lady within the past month and she was of the same character in which we are talking about. She wasn't very good at carrying on the conversation. But she did give me almost this exact same line. Which kind of surprised me because most girls wait for me to ask for their phone number and to ask for a meeting.

However when we met she acted the same exact way in person as she did online. And also happened to be thirty minutes late.

I wonder if at times they do that because they know that if they communicate too long the other person will lose interest. And the only reason I had an interest in meeting her was because she brought it up (I normally do not ask to meet people who are difficult to talk to over the phone and online).
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  May 19,2010, 8:36am
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I've had that experience, where he started calling me "dear sweet" etc. right away but never otherwise responded to anything I said. We had about 3 emails then I bowed out. It felt almost like he was sending canned emails and just editing my name in.

It's disconcerting! Oh well.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #10  May 19,2010, 5:23pm
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Sassafras54 wrote :
I've had that experience, where he started calling me "dear sweet" etc. right away but never otherwise responded to anything I said. We had about 3 emails then I bowed out. It felt almost like he was sending canned emails and just editing my name in.

It's disconcerting! Oh well.
Although there are people on here who 'claim' that judging someone strictly off of email or the phone is jumping the gun because some people are much better communicators in person then they are over email and the phone. Even though they say this I still do not totally buy it.

Everything that I have experienced through real life has indicated otherwise. People who do not have good communication skills through simplistic media (such as the phone or email) tend to have poor communication skills in real life as well.

That has been my experience all along. Through eharmony, through work, and through my regular social life as well. If they act like a snot over the phone they usually act like a snot in real life. If they leave conversations hanging over the phone they usually leave conversations hanging in real life too.
 
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