bobati is offline bobati Post #1  May 17,2010, 2:57pm
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Are different membership types unable to respond to you if you decide to "skip to email" after they have sent you a guided communication?

So far I have done the "skip to mail" option with two guys and both have accepted my option to skip to mail, but neither has responded. I am wondering if they are unable to respond or read my email. Neither of them have closed me either.

I know at least one of them has a paid account because he sent me a guided communication.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  May 17,2010, 3:22pm
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bobati wrote :
Are different membership types unable to respond to you if you decide to "skip to email" after they have sent you a guided communication?

So far I have done the "skip to mail" option with two guys and both have accepted my option to skip to mail, but neither has responded. I am wondering if they are unable to respond or read my email. Neither of them have closed me either.

I know at least one of them has a paid account because he sent me a guided communication.
If a match is a paying member then they can accept a request to skip to e-mail if they choose. Your situation is likely that they do not know that it is their turn to respond to an e-mail that you have sent.along with your request to move directly to e-mail. I am not quite certain how this works having never done it myself but if you have the opportunity to send them another e-mail I would recommend that you do so. Though I believe that you are stuck until they respond to your first e-mail.

You know that they are both paying members because they were able to accept your request to skip Guided Communication and go directly to e-mail.

Personal opinion, but I would stick to using Guided Communication. You may feel that it provides no useful information but most people prefer to follow the eHarmony process. I, and many others, do find Guided Communication to be useful.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  May 17,2010, 3:27pm
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Welcome to the boards, bobati. I'm glad to see your are using your membership on eHarmony to it's full advantage. Please feel free to lurk around our eH Advice community.

Their lack of response to your e-mail may be because they don't see that it is their turn to respond with an e-mail. I know when I've received these it can be hard to see that the first message is there to read.

Sometimes it can be frustrating to send out these e-mails and not receive a response. I would say give it a few days and then decide if you want to close them or not. Also, their paid membership could have just expired, so you might want to wait until the next Free Communication Weekend. Don't quote me on this, but I think the next one will be around Memorial Day Weekend.
 
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bobati is offline bobati Post #4  May 17,2010, 3:27pm
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It gives me the option to send another email, so I am not stuck, but I don't want to come off as pushy by sending them another email you know? At the same time though, I feel if they were not interested they should have closed me.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  May 17,2010, 4:14pm
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bobati wrote :
It gives me the option to send another email, so I am not stuck, but I don't want to come off as pushy by sending them another email you know? At the same time though, I feel if they were not interested they should have closed me.
e-mails are like driving by a car accident, you just have to look! So even though they accepted the email request, they may want to use the guided communication. GC is one of the main reasons people come to eH, to get away from other the spray and pray sites.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #6  May 17,2010, 4:22pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am not quite certain how this works having never done it myself but if you have the opportunity to send them another e-mail I would recommend that you do so. Though I believe that you are stuck until they respond to your first e-mail.
It's been awhile since I've been straight too e-harmony mail, but I'm 99% positive, once they accept the request.. it's open, there is no my turn-their turn.
 
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bobati is offline bobati Post #7  May 17,2010, 4:40pm
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it wont let me do guided communication with them now though, just email
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #8  May 17,2010, 4:49pm
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bobati wrote :
it wont let me do guided communication with them now though, just email
Sorry, I forgot to add that part,once you go straight to e-Harmony mail, and that match accepts, you can't go back, however if that match denies the email request, then GC would be available.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  May 17,2010, 5:29pm

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Hi Bobati,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice!

I agree that it’s possible that your match doesn’t know that it’s their turn to reply. And TrekRyder10 has a point that there really is no “my-turn-your-turn” at this stage, because both have the freedom to send messages.

I haven’t seen your message, but another possibility is the content of your message. Your match may have been expecting something specific in your message and once your match saw it, decided not to pursue. This isn’t predictable; you never know what your matches want to read.

I have seen some people write very brief messages asking one light question or saying something that doesn’t give a match much to go off of. I have also seen people writing a lot of information – and that may cause an overwhelmed feeling in a match.

Those are just some thoughts. If you wrote a lighter message, you may want to follow up with some conversation-starter type messages.

Also, always know that even though you can’t go back to the Guided Communication questions, you can address those issues in your own words through eHarmony Mail.

All the best,

~Kate
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  May 17,2010, 6:18pm
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I just remembered. If your match is now a non paying member he won't be able to see your e-mail during an FCW. Unless this is counted as already being in OC (Open Communications).

I'm preferential to GC and not an instant OC. The few times I've accepted an e-mail it fails miserably. I hope your match gets back to you. Depending on the length of time it has been since you sent it, you may consider that this person might only communicate with matches on the weekends or their days off.
Last edited by AndieIsMe; May 17,2010 at 7:14pm.
 
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