maxpower20 is offline maxpower20 Post #1  May 16,2010, 10:33am
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Hello,
Quick questions regarding the matching system. Do the matches I receive also get me as a match? Do they get sent my profile at the same time I get theirs?

If I select "don't send new matches right now", is my profile still being sent out to other people?

At what point does your profile stop being sent out, only you go through the 'close your account' process?

I see the validity of this site (as I met one person who I had a very similar personality, but there was no chemistry), but after reading a lot of the forums here I have to agree with the majority of people, in that, for the money spent, the rate of return is just not good enough. Just my 2 cts. but if anyone could help me with those questions I'd appreciate it.

Cheers!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  May 16,2010, 10:38am
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maxpower20 wrote :
Hello,
Quick questions regarding the matching system. Do the matches I receive also get me as a match? Do they get sent my profile at the same time I get theirs?
Yes, you both receive each other as a match on the same day!

wrote :
If I select "don't send new matches right now", is my profile still being sent out to other people?
No.. stops the matching process all together.

wrote :
At what point does your profile stop being sent out, only you go through the 'close your account' process?
IMO a major flaw of e-Harmony.

If you cancel your subscription and did not turn-off matching, on or just before the expiration date, then matching is still on and being sent out. Between this and FCW'ers, this is why a large number of peoples matches are inactive.

Canceling your subscription does not remove your profile from the system.To have your profile removed completely, one must call eH customer service to have it deleted.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; May 16,2010 at 11:02am.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  May 16,2010, 10:50am

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Hi Maxpower20,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice!

Looks like TrekRyder10 beat me to it, but here's what eHarmony says:

Whenever you receive a match, your match is receiving you as a match at the same time. Either one of you can start the communication process.

As long as you keep your matching feature enabled, you may receive new matches or be sent to other members as a match. You are matched by factors including sharing key dimensions of compatibility.

Then you have the control over your match settings which determine whether or not you will receive matches in a given distance range, ethnicity, religion, etc. If you narrow the settings, your match possibilities will decrease. Likewise if you open your settings, you include more possibilities.

Once you turn off your matching feature, the system cannot send you out as a match to other members (and of course you won’t receive matches).

The “Close account” process takes it a step further by placing all your matches in your “Closed” section (under Archived matches). TrekRyder10 is right that you can also contact eHarmony to assist with the closure process: eHarmony Support Home Page.

It’s interesting that you met someone who had a lot in common with you but experienced a lack of chemistry. I’m sure others here will confirm that they have had similar experiences. It is all part of the process of finding “the One.”

I wrote this article a while that I feel best describes the design and approach to eHarmony: Online Dating: Top 5 Tips for Using eHarmony and I hope it helps.

Good luck with everything and we’ll look forward to seeing more of
your posts in the forums.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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Tank is online now Tank Post #4  May 16,2010, 9:37pm
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[quote=maxpower20;981044]Hello,
Quick questions regarding the matching system. Do the matches I receive also get me as a match? Do they get sent my profile at the same time I get theirs?

If I select "don't send new matches right now", is my profile still being sent out to other people?

At what point does your profile stop being sent out, only you go through the 'close your account' process?

I see the validity of this site (as I met one person who I had a very similar personality, but there was no chemistry), but after reading a lot of the forums here I have to agree with the majority of people, in that, for the money spent, the rate of return is just not good enough. Just my 2 cts. but if anyone could help me with those questions I'd appreciate it.

With the person you met, did you both share a lot of common elements in "Something to Talk About"? My new view is if I am matched up with a women but share little elements in STTA I am not expecting a whole lot of chemistry.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  May 17,2010, 5:51am
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maxpower20 wrote :
...
I see the validity of this site (as I met one person who I had a very similar personality, but there was no chemistry), but after reading a lot of the forums here I have to agree with the majority of people, in that, for the money spent, the rate of return is just not good enough. Just my 2 cts. but if anyone could help me with those questions I'd appreciate it.

Cheers!
Another way of looking at the cost versus return. If you sit at home waiting for a guy to show up at your door, the cost is low but the only one that is likely to show up at your door is the FedEx guy.

If you are going out actively seeking to meet people, then you probably have a cost associated with going wherever it is you are going to meet people AND you will only meet those people that are there at the same time that you are there. I suspect that if you looked at the cost versus return on this you would find that it exceeds the cost of eHarmony. If your previous strategy had been working you would have never considered giving eHarmony a try in the first place.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  May 17,2010, 5:54am
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Tank wrote :
...
With the person you met, did you both share a lot of common elements in "Something to Talk About"? My new view is if I am matched up with a women but share little elements in STTA I am not expecting a whole lot of chemistry.
Since the Something to Talk About is just interests / activities, you are looking for an activity partner and not a real relationship?
 
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Tank is online now Tank Post #7  May 17,2010, 11:11am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Since the Something to Talk About is just interests / activities, you are looking for an activity partner and not a real relationship?
As the OP found out if you get a match, according to the E-harmony Matrix, you share several common personality traits, but maybe not activities and hobbies. With Something to Talk About if you have a lot of similarities then you have chemistry and activities=
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #8  May 17,2010, 11:43am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If your previous strategy had been working you would have never considered giving eHarmony a try in the first place.
You always say this, and it doesn't ring true to me. Not everyone uses online dating (or eharmony specifically) as a last resort, or as their only method of meeting potential dates. Lots of people just use it as one more way to meet people and if its used in that way, it's appropriate to do a cost/benefit analysis and figure out if it's an avenue that's enjoyable to them and therefore worth it, or if time and money may be better spent pursuing another avenue.

Lots of people employ several different methods of meeting people as a way to be social and/or do things they enjoy- it's not always a matter of 'x didn't work so now I'll try y'.
Last edited by FairOne; May 17,2010 at 12:02pm.
 
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maxpower20 is offline maxpower20 Post #9  May 18,2010, 4:32pm
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Hello from the OP and thanks for your input everyone!

Trek - thanks for your help, I've seen some of your other posts and wow you have some great comments out there. And I agree, major flaw indeed. Case in point, I got matched with an ex recently (who I'm still friends with) and asked him if he had an account here, he said he had tried months ago during a FCW but wasn't even aware it was still active.

Tank - the person I was referring to was someone I met before that "something to talk about" feature was introduced. And to Kate, yes, we got along quite well which surprised me (hence my comment about validity of matches), but we had no common interests unfortunately...

Gr8guy - uhhh say what? With all due respect you have no idea how many men I have opened communication with and got ZERO response. Get the facts before dishing out the 'tude please. If you didn't like my opinion, ignore it next time.

FairOne - well said.

I ended up re-subscribing for another 3 months, so although I only met one person, 1 nice guy in 3 months was worth giving it another try!
 
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