Women and 'Aggressiveness' on EH


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Laura8 is offline Laura8 Post #1  May 15,2010, 3:20am
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Hi Everyone!
I have a rather odd question-
Does anyone think that if a woman sends the first set of questions, that she is considered aggressive? I have come to think that lately, that, if I get a match, and I have been getting ALOT lately, thank you eharmony (!), if he looks interesting, I send my 1st questions. I don't even wait. I think..why not?? Then I think, "Well..I hope I am not sounding aggressive." "Usually" men have been known to "make the first 'move.'" In everyday situatons, I am so not, not aggressive. Any thoughts? Thanks! Laura8
 
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truthaboutcupid is offline truthaboutcupid Post #2  May 15,2010, 3:40am
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Laura8 wrote :
Hi Everyone!
I have a rather odd question-
Does anyone think that if a woman sends the first set of questions, that she is considered aggressive? I have come to think that lately, that, if I get a match, and I have been getting ALOT lately, thank you eharmony (!), if he looks interesting, I send my 1st questions. I don't even wait. I think..why not?? Then I think, "Well..I hope I am not sounding aggressive." "Usually" men have been known to "make the first 'move.'" In everyday situatons, I am so not, not aggressive. Any thoughts? Thanks! Laura8
I like to make the first move in general but eH is very different because so many profiles are inactive ones. Soooo, I actually don't mind getting first questions from a woman. It shows me that she is alive, and a paying member. Two pluses haha.

I think most men on eH have agreed that it is okay and welcomed for women to ask the questions first. Sometimes, it's just whoever happens to log-in first.

You paid for this service. GO FOR IT! (just never send an icebreaker, kind of cheesy and non-paying members can send those)
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #3  May 15,2010, 3:54am
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Laura8 wrote :
Does anyone think that if a woman sends the first set of questions, that she is considered aggressive?

No.

What's the worst that could happen? -A person you don't know decides not to respond.

Send questions.

I'm the shyest person I know, extremely introverted. But I did muster the courage to send questions (I figured I'd probably never meet these total strangers, so if they were turned off, the heck with 'em).

One answered. We met, dated, lived together, got married.

Send the questions!
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #4  May 15,2010, 4:35am
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I always sent first questions when I was a paying member. I'm not much of a sit-around-and-wait kind of gal.

Figure it's only fair that they know this about me up front.

Besides, I think most men suffer the same level of uncertainty and insecurity that most women do...what am I getting myself into...am I crazy...what if this goes horribly wrong...who is this stranger I'm inviting into my life...what if he/she says no/doesn't like me/rejects me.

We fought hard for a level playing field. No point in letting it go to waste. Use it wisely.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  May 15,2010, 4:48am

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well, what's more fun about waiting around for someone to choose you, like a melon in a supermarket?
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #6  May 15,2010, 5:33am
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scarlet13 wrote :
well, what's more fun about waiting around for someone to choose you, like a melon in a supermarket?
Well, there is the fun of occasionally being thumped.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; May 15,2010 at 5:34am. Reason: Or, you know, sniffed. ;^)
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  May 15,2010, 5:46am
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Well, there is the fun of occasionally being thumped.
I prefer to be squeezed.
 
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Breezy1 is online now Breezy1 Post #8  May 15,2010, 5:51am
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Well, there is the fun of occasionally being thumped.
I would welcome a good thump right about now
 
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Nabaati is offline Nabaati Post #9  May 15,2010, 6:13am
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I've only been sent questions twice in the 5 mos I've been on eh, and I just think that's so weird. I don't understand why you gals are paying all this money to sit around and be passive about your life.
 
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Northern_Gal is offline Northern_Gal Post #10  May 15,2010, 6:33am
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I have no problem sending the first questions - what is there to lose? If that is seen as overly aggressive, well, that's probably for the best...

While I'm generally not the type to make the first "move" in person, I am a fairly independent person, so if a man is uncomfortable with that level of "forthrightness" displayed simply by a woman sending first questions to him, chances are we wouldn't hit it off in the long run anyways.
 
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