Does "Just Looking" means there is no interest?


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Ahava1979 is offline Ahava1979 Post #1  May 13,2010, 9:57pm
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If you have an E-Harmony profile, and you are sent matches, if those matches view your profile but don't close you out, does that mean they are not interested?

I have had guys close me out right away, which is fine, I have had guys send me a message as soon as we were matched, which is fine, and I have had guys view me, and weeks would pass until I close them out.

There is this one guy who viewed me 2 days ago, but didn't initiate communication nor did he close me out so now I am wondering if it would be a bad idea to contact him.

I just assumed that if a person wasn't interested they would just close you out.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  May 13,2010, 10:58pm
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They might be a non paying member. Meaning they can't communicate unless they subscribe or it is a Free Communication Weekend.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #3  May 14,2010, 7:56am
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Don't sit there and try to speculate what he might be thinking...
If you are interested in him, just send him the first questions.

Like AndidIsMe said, it could be he is a non-paying member, and can't communicate with you until a FCW.

It is also possible, with the new "Archive" stuff EHarmony just did, that he put you into his "Archive" tab.
You wouldn't be notified that he did that, and he would remain in your "New" tab.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  May 14,2010, 8:15am
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It could mean anything.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  May 14,2010, 10:00am
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Ahava1979 wrote :
If you have an E-Harmony profile, and you are sent matches, if those matches view your profile but don't close you out, does that mean they are not interested?

I have had guys close me out right away, which is fine, I have had guys send me a message as soon as we were matched, which is fine, and I have had guys view me, and weeks would pass until I close them out.

There is this one guy who viewed me 2 days ago, but didn't initiate communication nor did he close me out so now I am wondering if it would be a bad idea to contact him.

I just assumed that if a person wasn't interested they would just close you out.
It could mean that:
1) He is a non-paying member but is active on the site.

2) That he is communicating with other matches at the moment but knowing that most matches don't work out he is not going to close you out right away.

3) Something else.

If you are interested in this or any other match you should send First Questions. You are paying for a service. That service is to provide you with a method of communicating with single members of the opposite sex. It does not matter if you are female you have every right to take full advantage of all that eHarmony offers. I will caution that you should not be too quick to close someone because they don't respond back to your communication right away. I recommend waiting to close matches until after there has been a FCW.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #6  May 14,2010, 8:43pm
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Ahava1979 wrote :
If you have an E-Harmony profile, and you are sent matches, if those matches view your profile but don't close you out, does that mean they are not interested?
...

I just assumed that if a person wasn't interested they would just close you out.
If there is one thing I have learned from online dating....correction.. the only thing I have learned from online dating is not to wonder why. Ask. It's not a good time to be submissive.

Email the person and find out if they are interested in you. Waiting for them to tell you is not a good plan.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #7  May 15,2010, 10:45am
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Ahava1979 wrote :
There is this one guy who viewed me 2 days ago, but didn't initiate communication nor did he close me out so now I am wondering if it would be a bad idea to contact him.
What harm is there in initiating communication yourself?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #8  May 15,2010, 5:30pm

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Hi Ahava1979,

The concensus seems to be that the best way to determine if a match is interested in you is to send out that 1st set of questions. I wholeheartedly agree and hope you'll make the most of your subscription time to by focusing your energies on what you can do and control.

I think it's great that Gr8Guyn2008 is encouraging you to be patient when awaiting responses from your matches. Usually, I recommend 2 weeks, but if members are open to waiting until after the next Free Communication Event, I'm all for that!

Speaking of FCE's, haven't heard anything officially yet, but they usually coincide with holiday weekends, and Memorial Day is just around the corner!

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; May 15,2010 at 5:33pm.
 
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