Other goals for coming to eHarmony?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  May 12,2010, 4:36pm
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Hi everyone,

I saw a post from someone who said they joined eHarmony to ease into talking with people of the opposite sex.

That made me wonder if anyone else has additional goals for their eHarmony experience besides finding their "one"? I could see where it might be a good way to meet other single people in a new city, or get over being shy, or build confidence, etc...

What say you?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  May 12,2010, 10:17pm
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Well I joined EH to find The One but it has turned out to be a little journey of self discovery instead.

I still want to find The One though!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  May 12,2010, 10:52pm
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Same as Sass I have used my time on eH as a self discovery. Though most of that has come from this forum rather than eH itself.

I came up with a better name for The One, for me. My Forever Guy. It came up in conversation with a match, we both liked it, even though he wasn't him.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #4  May 13,2010, 2:25am
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I filled out the initial questionnaire as a lark. I love personality quizzed, mostly because the results are usually so far off base. EH's personality profile "nailed" some facets, but was way off on others, mostly because many of the questions did not have appropriate answers to choose from.

I actually paid for a membership about two months later, when I got a couple of matches.
 
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truthaboutcupid is offline truthaboutcupid Post #5  May 13,2010, 4:34am
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
Hi everyone,

I saw a post from someone who said they joined eHarmony to ease into talking with people of the opposite sex.

That made me wonder if anyone else has additional goals for their eHarmony experience besides finding their "one"? I could see where it might be a good way to meet other single people in a new city, or get over being shy, or build confidence, etc...

What say you?
For me, it's only to find the one. I have no other goals from this site.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #6  May 13,2010, 5:36am

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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
Hi everyone,

I saw a post from someone who said they joined eHarmony to ease into talking with people of the opposite sex.

That made me wonder if anyone else has additional goals for their eHarmony experience besides finding their "one"? I could see where it might be a good way to meet other single people in a new city, or get over being shy, or build confidence, etc...

What say you?
Definitely. I was feeling a bit good and confident about myself, so I figured what better way to knock the old self image down a few pegs than by rejection from a few hundred women?

Worked great, I must say. I don't have the same self image as before eH.
 
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Shades_of_Grey is offline Shades_of_Grey Post #7  May 13,2010, 6:00am
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Lori - I joined eH to find a life partner - but after a time, discovered the eHA side.

I still haven't met "The One", but I consider my investment in eH to be well worth it - and a success. I now think of eHA as the "theory" side and eH as the "practical" side. (although I get frustrated with being matched with 5' nothings or shorter (close) when I am almost 6'3".)

There are a number of regular posters here (you know who you are) who consistently offer sound counsel (I sincerely thank you for your time investment here), and who I have come to have a lot of respect for. I have taken to heart their good advice - some of it is just affirming qualities I already possess - and other things I am working at incorporating into my life and putting into daily practice. In short, this site has given me an education in how to be a better partner.
Last edited by Shades_of_Grey; May 13,2010 at 6:04am. Reason: Content
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  May 13,2010, 6:28am

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Lori –

I love this question, and I love to hear that for some it’s been about the process, not just the outcome. Before I worked here, I was a member. I didn’t find the One either, but obviously, I got enough out of it to be a big believer. I met wonderful guys who became good friends and I learned a lot through them. I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything! Of course, I wouldn’t mind if they started to let employees use the service. LOL

But it's fun to hear about Advice members' experiences.

~Kate
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  May 13,2010, 7:06am
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I joined eHarmony to get dates and hopefully find "the one". I have been marginally successful at the getting dates part and while I have met two girls that I thought had potential to pursue finding out if they may be "the one" they did not see in me the potential of being their "one".

However, along the way I have had matches that did not join eHarmony for romantic pursuits. One was in search of a golfing partner. One was looking for a business partner to start a new business. One was looking for a guy so that she could retire.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  May 13,2010, 7:48am
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
Lori –

I love this question, and I love to hear that for some it’s been about the process, not just the outcome. Before I worked here, I was a member. I didn’t find the One either, but obviously, I got enough out of it to be a big believer. I met wonderful guys who became good friends and I learned a lot through them. I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything! Of course, I wouldn’t mind if they started to let employees use the service. LOL

But it's fun to hear about Advice members' experiences.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
I have said it before and I will say it again. I think that eHarmony not only should allow employees to use the service but I think that the single employees should be required to use it, particularly those that are in development and customer contact positions. Using the system on closed training / test systems is not at all the same as using it in the real world.

I have heard the corporate line of legal / liability issues that prevent employees from using the system, I am presuming that this is along the concept that an employee would have an unfair advantage in being matched with the very best matches or have special access to personal information.

In response to the unfair advantage argument. If I accept this then that says that the eHarmony system can be "gamed" to create a certain set of matches that would not normally be delivered. If I was to accept this, that would be to say that the eHarmony system is not a very well thought out or secure matching system. Or that the sacred 29 Dimensions are not what is really used as the matching criteria. If I accept this then that would be to say that I think the eHarmony system is a fraud. I am sure that if I had the time to put my mind to it I could think of many other argument against the concept of an unfair advantage. Oh, I don't believe that the eHarmony system not secure or a fraud.

As for eHarmony employees having access to personal information that regular non-employee matches don't. They already have access to that information. However important personal information such as Social Security number and financial information is not requested by eHarmony. Many other companies have much more personal information on their customers than what eHarmony collects yet do not prohibit their employees from dating a customer. Consider the level of personal information that your bank employees have access too. Yet they are not prevented from dating a customer. Or the police, they are not prevented from dating because they could look up stuff about everyone. What prevents these people from looking up information on someone that they should not is honest people who follow the policies that the companies have established saying that they should not access records for personal use.

Kate you may pass this message along to eHarmony management, and I encourage you to do so. Having single eHarmony employees using the system along with the rest of us would be a help to both you and us.
 
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