do both parties get the match at the same time?


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nicam is offline nicam Post #1  May 12,2010, 4:31am
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Hello, need some information here. I usually just respond to my matches as soon as they come into my box because I hate to have a backlog and I love the new quick archive feature. Either I sent an icebreaker or I send the first set of questions.

My question is, does the other person receive the match at the same time as me? If, so then maybe I should sit back and wait for him to respond first - maybe I seem to eager because I have been at this for a couple rounds. I find that I get no response from most of them after my initial contact.


I have gotten to guided communication with a few people and one is a telephone buddy. But no love match.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #2  May 12,2010, 6:29am
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Yes, I believe so.
Some send the questions right away. It kind of lets you know if there is a live person there or someone who didnt turn off matching when they left. Or a free match that cant communicate.
 
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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #3  May 12,2010, 8:14am
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i have been making it a less stressful "game" for myself. at first i took it very seriously and got pretty anxious about who likes me....who to close and why..... am i being fair to my matches?

now i just don't even look at one set of matches, then i send an icebreaker to everyone in the next matches, then i look at everyone but don't send any kind of message in the next matches.

it has made it less stressful for me. i can't make any predictions or have any expectation because i am not being consistent so the results can't be predicted.

kinda puts a little more feeling of control into my hands so i don't feel rejected or like i am being a complete jerk myself.

hopefully that makes sense.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  May 12,2010, 9:30am
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Hi Nicam!
Yes they get the match at the same time but might not look at it right away.

Take a look through the threads in the "Using EHarmony" forum. There are all kinds of reasons why matches do whatever they do ... don't make assumptions about it.

Most men on this discussion board say they like women who initiate. Is that true out there IRL? Who knows. I say, do what you want, you're paying for it!

BTW this kind of thread should be in the "Using EHarmony" forum, and probably a moderator will move it there eventually. Welcome to EHA!
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #5  May 12,2010, 3:19pm
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dogwood wrote :
now i just don't even look at one set of matches, then i send an icebreaker to everyone in the next matches, then i look at everyone but don't send any kind of message in the next matches.
If you're a paying member, sending icebreakers is a waste of time. It screams "I'm a free member"- not to mention it's wimpy to do that rather than just sending the questions.
 
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slaw is offline slaw Post #6  May 12,2010, 4:10pm
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dogwood wrote :

now i just don't even look at one set of matches, then i send an icebreaker to everyone in the next matches, then i look at everyone but don't send any kind of message in the next matches.
Not sure it matters what is fair to your matches but I don't think that this is the best way to maximize your chances of success. Finding a middle-ground between overanalysing everything and purely random button pressing would work better, right?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #7  May 13,2010, 5:35pm

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Hi nicam,

Yes, you and a match receive each other's profiles at the same time. Also, I agree that the best way to make the most of your subscription is to initiate communication yourself by sending out the first set of Getting to Know Each Other questions.

I'm sorry to hear that your past attempts to initiate communication haven't resulted in many responses. But instead of waiting for your matches to initiate communication, I encourage you take a fresh look at your profile and make sure that it's the best it can be.

Remember your profile is what inspires your matches to communicate with you; so it's very important to make sure that you have answered all the questions in a detailed, thorough way and that your photos really paint a picture of who you are and how you live your life.

If you need help with your profile, you are always welcome to contact Customer Care: eHarmony Support Home Page.

Also, I agree with Sassafras54 that this thread really should be in the "Using eHarmony" forum; so I have moved it. This forum is also a great resource, and here you can find articles written to help members create dynamic profiles, you can join Profile Workshops, and/or ask members directly for feedback on your profile answers.

All the best.

-Renee
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Lastly, it's great to hear that you like the new archive feature!
 
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Coca-Cola is offline Coca-Cola Post #8  May 13,2010, 7:02pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee wrote :
Yes, you and a match receive each other's profiles at the same time.
I'm glad to hear you confirm that the one-sided matching / "subscribers are sent to non-subscribers first" feature is gone.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  May 14,2010, 10:04am
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dogwood wrote :
i have been making it a less stressful "game" for myself. at first i took it very seriously and got pretty anxious about who likes me....who to close and why..... am i being fair to my matches?

now i just don't even look at one set of matches, then i send an icebreaker to everyone in the next matches, then i look at everyone but don't send any kind of message in the next matches.

it has made it less stressful for me. i can't make any predictions or have any expectation because i am not being consistent so the results can't be predicted.

kinda puts a little more feeling of control into my hands so i don't feel rejected or like i am being a complete jerk myself.

hopefully that makes sense.
Playing games in never a good thing to do.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  May 14,2010, 10:15am
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Both people get the match at the same time. If you feel that you would like for the guy to initiate you could wait a day or two to give him that opportunity. However, a girl initiating is taken as a good sign from most all guys. It shows that you are interested in them.

Also as mentioned don't send IceBreakers as this is usually viewed as an indication that the person is a non-paying member. Send First Questions.

I will also mention (even though it upsets some on here)that most (about 90%) of your matches are going to be non-paying members who can't communicate. You can check the Who's Viewed Me to see who at least seems to be an active member. If you are getting a lot of views but no one is communicating then it could be that your profile needs some work. And as Renee said there are profile workshop threads with helpful hints and you can post your profile here and have other members review it for you.
 
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